Five Weeks To Go!

This was originally written on Sunday, March 30, 2008:

I'm in my 35th week of pregnancy, so after next week L.J. can arrive any day! I had a dream the other night that it's going to be soon. . .I hope so. It was weird because there was nothing going on in my dream. I was just with darkness and worried that I was going to be, like, two weeks LATE! A voice said, "No, don't worry, you're going to go before your due date." I suddenly felt very calm and peaceful--confident that the voice was right. I saw myself sleeping in bed with our clock behind/above me that said 4:30. The voice said I'd wake up abruptly in the middle of the night and have no doubt that I was in labor. (Because I've also always worried that I wouldn't know what were real contractions and what were Braxton Hicks, since I haven't had them yet.)

The next day I told Joe about the dream and said I only wish the voice had told me what day this was all taking place, lol. He thinks the 4:30 could mean April 30th (4/30) rather than it happening at 4:30 am. We will see! The good news is that I'm not moping around worried that I still have 5-7 more weeks to go; I know it sounds silly, but the dream really put me at ease.

I also had a dream back in October with my maternal grandfather who died in 2002. He told me that he was real in my dream and I said "I don't believe you--tell me what's going on in my life right now." He said, "You're having a baby!" I said, "When?" He said, "May. . ." and then winked, "or April." His smile was so "knowing" that I really felt that was his way to prove to me that he'd really spoke to me in that dream. Once again, we'll see soon!

Either pregnancy has made me psychic of some sort. . .or it's just made me have creepy dreams! Before being told to name my son Logan back in August, I had never experienced these type of dreams in my life, aside from maybe a de ja vu one every now and then (you know where you're going about your day and something happens and you swear you already dreamed it?).

My body has still been handling this pregnancy much better now than it did from Sept thru Feb. My only problem these days is the strain in my abdomen--which isn't minor. I'm fine (except for the drain it has on my energy) until about 4 pm. Then something happens where it's like my uterus expands and I feel like one of those sumo wrestlers--I'll lay down on the floor and then I can't get up! All I do is roll from side to side. . .lol, I feel like a big Easter egg!

Needless to say, walking around is not something I can do for long, but it's impossible to find a comfortable sitting or laying position because the weight in my abdomen gives in to gravity, so there's a lot of pressure toward whatever direction I'm leaning. So to get bigger would mean even more discomfort there. I'm trying to look at the big picture, though: this is my least miserable of the experiences during pregnancy. But. . .I'd still prefer less than five weeks compared to seven! Fortunately, I don't think my doctor would allow me to go past May 16th. So, if L.J. hasn't come by then, I'll be induced. But that means pitocin, which those of you who read my birth plan know I don't want, so I'm hoping for a labor like a girl I just talked to from my high school who had a baby recently after being asleep, waking up at 12:30 am to her water breaking, going to the hospital, pushing, and having the baby after only four hours of labor. If only we could all be so lucky! But I can try (she didn't get the epidural or medication).

Coincidentally, last night at scrapbooking I went to get a drink of water and one of the employees said, "May I give you some words of advice?" I said, "Please!" She said, "If you want a quicker birth, do it naturally. Childbirth is natural. When you're in labor, relax, take in the experience, don't be scared--your body will do the work. I've had five children and none of them were with an epidural or medication. The key was to breathe and let that oxygen get to that baby. Think about it as a positive experience, making it the best experience possible for your child because this is their only time for being in your womb and entering the world."

I told her that I've been planning to do it that way and hope that I can. She said I definitely can, so it was nice to get another boost in that direction. It's also a boost to know that I have several friends who are interested in giving the HypnoBirthing a try for their future babies and so I'm kind of the guinea pig, lol. I hope that I can come back and let them know that it worked.

Now that I've learned so much, it's amazing to me that this way of childbirth is only offered if you ask. Doctors are like, "well yeah, it usually works out better this way." So then why isn't that what they recommend to everyone and the picture that we all have in our heads? Instead we think there's no other way than pain and suffering. It's like someone out there thinks the majority of women can't handle it, so they don't want women to get their hopes up. It's easier to just offer medication and an epidural to shut them up or prevent them from getting disappointed if things don't go the way they'd wanted. I have more faith in women than that!!! Even if things don't go ideal for me, or I end up having needing an epidural, I'll be glad I knew ALL of my options and that at least tried.

For example, on A Baby Story recently there was an episode where the woman was doing everything against what HypnoBirthing teaches. . .and it looked like an awful experience. Before she got to the hospital she was like, "This baby better not cause me any problems! It's already caused me enough pain!" Aside from blaming her child for everything, I was thinking, that's not a very positive attitude to have. . .but then again I've never been in labor. I doubt I'll be in the best of moods, either! However, then she got to the hospital and was like, "I want this to be over fast--give me the epidural now!" She wasn't even trying to relax. I thought, geeze, no one's telling her that her behavior is actually making things worse and that if she wants it to go fast, she's doing the opposite.

Despite having the epidural, she was grimacing in pain during every contraction and swearing at everyone. It was really an example of how not to be unless you want to make labor worse! By the time she was pushing, she was screaming and force-pushing. I was tense just watching her. Needless to say, I haven't watched A Baby Story since because I don't want others' births to interfere with the HypnoBirthing I've been practicing!

L.J. has continued to be strong and active. If Joe is sitting close to me on the couch, he is able to feel L.J. nudging him! I managed to gain another pound this week, so I'm up 31 now. L.J. is estimated to be 6 lbs and is less than 19 inches long.

On Thursday I spent the day at Jenn's (next door) with two of her other scrapbooking friends, which was a lot of fun. I hope to join them regularly now.

As mentioned earlier, last night I went to the paid scrapbooking with Heather, Sara, and Sarah for the last time before L.J., which was a nice getaway. I'm glad there have been more opportunities for "getaways" lately because I know I will need them when L.J.'s here. Jenn said that once a month she and her friends (all stay-at-home-moms) do a "Ladies Night Out" and that I am welcome to join them. I said that sounds like fun. In the meantime, I'll continue to go to her house for a day, every other week, where we also eat lunch and have "girl talk" while the kids play (or babies sleep and eat).

Otherwise, that's about it for my update this week. An old college friend had a baby girl on Wednesday (exactly one week early) and last night I learned Sarah (who scrapbooked with us for the first time last night) is pregnant. It's the year for babies!