My Mom's Side

Yesterday I posted my dad's family history info, so today here is my mom's (they are of Italian descent). I've actually been meaning to share it with you since my post last year All Kinds Of Stuff because I hope to take the ideas and turn it into a fiction novel someday :-) My great-great grandmother, Maria, was born on December 13, 1867 near Naples, Italy. Her father died when she was young, so Maria grew up as an only child. When she was sixteen, her mother (Faulstina) thought it'd be best to send Maria to a convent in the United States (the family was Catholic up through my mom) because she had married a man with two teenage sons.

Maria arrived to New York City around 1884 as steerage on a ship. Meaning, back in those days when there was extra cargo room underneath a boat, they would allow emigrants who couldn't afford to ride normally, to sleep on rough boards under the 6-foot ceilings down there. Contemporary sources report that lice and fleas thrived in this environment. They were given leftovers from the "real passenger's" for food and were not allowed to leave their small space for the entirety of the trip. A primitive toilet sat on each side of the deck. Over the hatch there was a hood with an entrance down to the passengers quarters. There was no other ventilation than this, and the only fresh air came through this entrance. When the weather was rough the entrance had to be closed and it became dark as in the night down in the hold.The only report I could find for a voyage from Naples, Italy to New York was via the Ship Assyria on July 10, 1884 that took sixteen days.

It is not surprising that Maria was depressed during her first year at the convent. The nuns thought she'd be happier if she married, so in 1885 they introduced her to their handsome gardener!

Joseph had dark hair & eyes and a mustache. He had also recently come to the United States from Italy with his brother, who was now living in Kansas City, Missouri. Joseph fell in love at first sight with the tiny, five-foot, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Maria -- and married her in 1886 when she was nineteen years old.

The nuns gave the couple money to get married at St. Patrick's Catholic Church in Kansas City, but Joseph was unable to find a job there, so he and Maria moved back to Italy. There, Maria gave birth to a son, James (Jim). They decided they wanted to raise their family in America, so they returned to Kansas City and opened a Produce Store, changing their last name. Maria went on to have five more children, but only two daughters lived, Josephine and Rosa.

Unfortunately, Joseph had a problem with drinking and died just ten years after he was married, leaving twenty-nine-year-old Maria a widow in 1896. Maria became known as a tough woman; although she let her husband's brother move in with her for a couple of years, she never remarried. She was independent for a woman of her time, and with the help of her thirteen-year-old son, she opened a Confectionary (candy shop) and took control of the Produce Store. The businesses were successful (she'd be considered a millionaire by today's standards - no more riding steerage for her!), allowing her to build an apartment complex for her family to live and rent out.

When Maria's oldest daughter, Josephine, was sixteen, she caught the eye of a man who worked as a wholesale retail merchant on the market. Twenty-four-year-old Nicholas was the son of a widow, and a positive, kind, easy-going man who stood only 5'7" but had the heart of a giant. He'd recently come to the U.S. from Palermo, Sicily and didn't speak English. He was attracted to Josephine's beauty (she was curvier and taller than her mother, with long black hair and dark eyes) and asked Maria if he could visit their home. Maria said yes, and after only a few visits to the house, Nicholas asked Josephine to marry him. In November 1907, one month before Josephine's 17th birthday on December 27, the couple was married.

Nicholas and Josephine had their first child, a boy named Lawrence, when Josephine was 19. Their daughter, Katherine, was born two years later and their last child, Marie, was born when Josephine was 27. From the start, Josephine was eager to please her husband so she signed up for cooking classes so that she could fix Nicholas' favorite meals. She was a perfectionist who was polite, sweet, and somewhat shy and quiet (unlike her mother), but strict with her children. Unfortunately, she suffered from migraine headaches and depression, and even tried shock treatment therapy -- but Nicholas stayed supportive. He told his children how wonderful and strong their mother was, compared to when he first married her and she was "just a child." He always praised her for the great job she did taking care of the kids and "spotless" house. He and Josephine were always very much in love, despite Nicholas working 14 hour days to support the family (and he refused to become a member of the Italian Mafia, so they came after him and fired shots throughout his house). Josephine died in 1970 at the age of 80 (she'd had heart problems since she was 45), and Nicholas passed away a year-and-a-half later, before his 89th birthday in 1972.

Maria had died on September 23, 1967, three months before her 100th birthday. Her only son Jim (a short, strong, dark man) had died of stomach cancer a few years before, after spending his life caring for his mother. He never married or had children, and lived with Maria his entire life, helping her with the businesses.

Maria's youngest daughter, Rosa (i.e. Rosie, a dark, stocky girl), had also spent her life living in the apartment complex, which she ran with her mother and brother. She had a stern personality like her mother (Maria) and married a man with the same name as her father (Joe), but was unable to have children. (She had hoped to adopt her niece, Marie, since she was a surprise, but Josephine took one look at her baby and told her sister, "You can't have her.") Rosie died of a stroke after her brother Jim, but before her mom Maria and sister Josephine.

Lawrence had passed away the year between his mother (Josephine) and father (Nicholas). He was born on January 22, 1910. As a child, he battled Bright's Disease (kidney problems). Boys at school would pick fights with him, as Lawrence was small and gentle with glasses, and preferred reading alone opposed to playing sports. Still, he grew into a handsome, dark man, 5'7," who was the first in his family to go to college, and became president of his fraternity (Sigma Kai) at MU. There, he was known for being a "rounder" with the ladies, much to the dismay of his sister Katherine who'd get into trouble when Lawrence would arrive home at indecent hours. (Even though she was two-and-a-half years younger, she was expected to take care of him and keep an eye on his health.) He had taken after his grandmother, Maria, who was a great storyteller, and majored in journalism. Lawrence wanted to be a writer for The Kansas City Star Newspaper and had dreams of being published, but had to do other work instead to pay the bills.

When President Roosevelt called Lawrence's age group for the draft into WWII in 1943, he didn't think they would take him because of his health problems (he had also contracted Malaria on his honeymoon.) However, he was sent as part of the Private First Class at the Battle of the Bulge in 1944, until he was shot in a foxhole. His family was told he was MIA, which was very traumatic for them (especially for his father who he had always been close to, in fact, Lawrence would visit his dad every day to ask if he needed anything at the store). Miraculously, a man approached Nicholas one day at the market and said that Lawrence was recovering in a hospital in England! Lawrence was brought home to his family in 1945, but had psychological healing to do, so he and his wife of ten years divorced. Lawrence had married the tiny nineteen-year-old Italian Irish blonde named Eileen on February 14, 1935, when he was twenty-four. They had one child, Larry Neal, on August 27, 1936. Lawrence and Eileen met while working for Kline's Department Store in Kansas City (at the time he was Assistant Superintendent and later became Top Superintendent in Cincinnati, OH). Despite some good times together, the marriage was not a match - they were not at their best with each other. The divorce between Lawrence and Eileen was bitter, and Lawrence didn't allow Larry to have a relationship with his birth mother (or her new husband and three daughters) until Larry was 17. Lawrence's second wife, Faye (who was unable to have children), raised Larry as her own. Lawrence died in 1971 of pancreatic cancer.

Larry Neal was taller than his dad, but otherwise a "spitting image" - dark, with brown eyes and glasses. He attended The University of Texas and received a degree in business. There, he met a woman named Sara, a twin with fourteen older siblings - all boys. They married around 1960 and had two daughters, Denise and Karen. Larry and Sara divorced in the late 1970's when the girls were in their teens. A year later, he married a woman named Dee, but died of a massive heart attack on December 26, 1980 in Dallas, where he worked in the computer department of Nieman-Marcus. He was a quiet, serious man who liked to joke, but not to excess. He enjoyed football, running, barbequing, and was a great father to his daughters.

Meanwhile, Katherine was born on May 14, 1912. She worked for Prudential Insurance, and when she was twenty-eight she married Howard on December 28, 1940. She had met him through a friend of her sister's when she brought him to dinner at their home. They had five children: Betty Anne, Mary Katherine, Howard Jr, Joanne, and Jane. Her oldest was born while her husband was away at war and her youngest was born when she was 42 years old. She was a stay at home mom until her children were in school, then she was a secretary for her husband who had his own insurance firm. Howard died in March of 2002. Katherine passed away on July 5, 2009.

I didn't know her real well, but every few years when visiting Kansas City (where my grandparents lived) I went over to her home to say hello. I remember their yard was always manicured and their house was fancy, spotless, and all of the rooms on the inside were green. Katherine always had a plate of cookies and tea, and to this day was the most polite person I have ever met. I always felt like I was going over to someone very important/prestigious' house. She was a thin and refined woman, always using incredible manners and being exceptionally nice. (This pic was taken of me with Katherine and my grandma, summer 2003 - the exact day when I learned all of this info!)My grandma was five years younger and so they weren't friends until adulthood (Grandma felt her mother and sister were a lot alike - too serious). They had their share of ups and downs, as most sisters do, but they still met for lunch every week and talked regularly on the phone.

Marie (my grandmother), the youngest child of Josephine, was born on May 3, 1917 and married William (Bill) on October 4, 1947. Ten years before, she had graduated from St. Teresa's of Avila Community College and spent several years working as a secretary. Even though she lived at home until the age of 30, she had almost gotten married when she was nineteen, but broke off the relationship. Friends introduced her to Bill (an accountant and credit manager of Irish descent) and she knew she'd found "the one" - they were married within five months. She was less strict than her mother had been with her children: Dennis, Kathleen (Kathy), and Rita. Marie has continued to be healthy into her nineties, volunteering at the local hospital and attending exercise classes! Bill died on July 11, 2002. Dennis Michael (my uncle), the oldest child of Marie, was born on July 19, 1948. (BTW I think this pic looks a lot like Logan!) He graduated in 1970 from Northwest Missouri State University in Maryville, MO with a degree in Physical Education (Sports Medicine) and a Driver's Ed & Safety minor. He spent a couple of years teaching at Rockhurst High School before changing careers to Sales for McKesson in Chicago, and then Champion in Kansas City from the mid-1970's to early '90's. Since then, he and his wife (Jody), whom he married in 1971, have been distributors for Cotton Exchange through their own home business in Kansas City, MO. They have three children: Matt (born - 1971; married - Lael, 1995; children - Rachel, 1998 and Jackson, 1999; lives in Fishers, IN), Bridget (born - 1975; married - Jeff, 2002; children - Sophie, 2005 and Lily, 2007; lives in Kansas City, MO) and Kate (born - 1978; married Bryan, 2003; children - Adyson, 2008 (RIP Caden, birth and death, October 2007); lives in Indiana).

Rita Marie (my aunt), the youngest child of Marie, was born on January 9, 1954. She met her husband of two-and-a-half years, Tommy, while she lived in New Orleans, LA. She was working as a Legal Assistant in the Trade Mart Building, located at the end of Canal Street and the crest of Mississippi River. The couple met on a beautiful April evening at the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival, where Tommy was working. Tommy was the most well-known Sound Engineer & Manager in New Orleans Clubs and the Southern Music Circuit - there for almost anyone who played the French Quarter and started or toured New Orleans. Their relationship was exciting and fun, and they were engaged around Thanksgiving 1984 when Tommy was 26 and Rita was 30. They married on June 4, 1985, after living together for three years. On the weekends, they enjoyed bicycling, road trips to National parks & lakes, boating, tubing, canoeing, kayaking, and hiking for waterfalls. Around their divorce, Rita moved back to her hometown of Kansas City in mid-October 1987, after living in New Orleans for 18 years. There, she met Mark in 1994 - an acquaintance who grew into a close friendship. Their first date was on New Years 1995. They shared the same Plaza neighborhood, spiritual counselor, religious beliefs, and a genuine respect and understanding of each other. However, after seven years, they began to not see things eye-to-eye but remained good friends until Mark's passing from a heart attack during the fall of 2008. Rita keeps busy working as a Massage Therapist - her own business for fifteen years.

Kathleen Anne (my mom), the middle child of Marie, was born in Kansas City, Missouri on October 10, 1950. She married Joseph (Joe) on August 26, 1970 and graduated from Northwest Missouri State with a degree in Spanish and a minor in Speech. (She retired after 20 yrs as a teacher and secretary.) Her personality is a mixture of Maria and Josephine. She had one child, Andrea (me), in Des Moines, IA. Kathleen remarried on August 13, 1988 to Richard. After living for ten years in the small town where he worked (he is a manager of Pioneer Hi-bred), the couple returned to the Des Moines area in 1998.

I was born on December 21, 1979. Out of the women before me, I feel I am probably most like my grandmother, Marie. I graduated from Iowa State University with a bachelor's degree in Journalism and Mass Communication and a minor in English in May 2002. I worked in television and radio, but inherited my great-uncle's love for writing, so I hope to fulfill his dream of being published. I moved near Omaha, Nebraska after marrying Joseph (Joe) on April 26, 2003. We have one son, Logan, who was born on April 18, 2008!