It's A Boy!!!!

This was originally written on Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Wow, what a day yesterday!!!! I will never forget the experience for as long as I live. I can't think of anything more exciting, miraculous, amazing or incredible than the moment I saw my baby moving on the screen and found out my first born is a son :-) WOW!!!!!!

Since Joe wanted to be there (of course), we made the appt. for 4 pm. Otherwise I would have been the first person at the doctor's office that day, haha! The morning & afternoon seemed to go forever, but I made the most of it by finishing my Christmas shopping and going to the grocery store.

At 3:10 I was required to start drinking 4 large glasses of water--and have them finished 45 minutes prior to my appt. I was not looking forward to that part of the day (water usually goes right through me--but I wasn't allowed to pee).

I don't know if it was the cold water or my nerves or both--but I started shivering when I sat down on the couch to watch TV. This was strange because despite it being winter, I'm always steaming hot. Every time I look in the mirror my face is red and blotchy. But this time I was freezing, so I put on my big winter coat. That helped a little, but I was still shaking until I turned off the television at 3:45. For the first time I had to go to the bathroom, but it wasn't as bad as I had thought it'd be. So, I got into my car and left my place at 3:50, arriving around 3:55 (my doctor's office is just down the street from my house).

At exactly 4 pm the ultrasound technician came out to get me. . .um, Joe wasn't there yet!

I followed her to the back room and said, "My husband is coming, will he be able to find us?"

She answered, "If he goes to the front desk."

"Of course this would happen when this is the one appointment that it matters that he's here for!"

She laughed and nodded like it had happened to other women before. Fortunately, she said he wouldn't miss anything in the beginning because she first checks the cervix--which is why my bladder needed to be full (so they can see it on the ultrasound).

Luckily that part went quick and she said, "Looks great, your cervix is long and closed which is what's best!"

I was then allowed to pee. Right before I got up from the table there was a knock on the door. Whew--Joe!

He later said he must have gotten there within seconds of me going back, because the clock on their wall still said 4:00, but it took a couple of minutes for him to find me because the people behind the desk had already forgotten where I'd gone! :p

Anyway, when I peed at that point it was normal. But an hour later I was going, like, every ten to fifteen minutes and could hardly get to the bathroom in time!

When I climbed back onto the table, the ultrasound technician's next task was to take measurements of the baby and look for abnormalities. The room was quiet as both Joe and I were nervous (praying everything would be fine, while she was concentrating). Right away she kind of laughed and said, "Wow, it's an active little thing!" That was funny because it was exactly what my doctor had said last month at the heartbeat appointment! Whenever the ultrasound technician tried to measure a body part or take a picture, it moved! She said that was a good sign as far as the health, but it was being stubborn for her, so I thought oh great we're not going to be able to find out if it's a boy or girl.

I was surprised at how easily I could make out the baby on the screen. Since I've never seen a live, active ultrasound, I'd expected it to be a fuzzy blob that she would have to point out the parts of. Instead, as she moved the monitor around on my abdomen, I knew exactly what was the head, the heart, the spine, and the rest of the body! I turned to look at Joe in awe. He gave me the best smile :-)

(I wish my doctor's office had the capability of recording it like some places, because the actual version was better than the pictures we were able to take home.)

The ultrasound technician was able to get what she needed by stilling the frames. She said that everything was in the perfect range--no red flags. We were very relieved!!!! The heartbeat was 148 (opposed to 150 last month and 140 the month prior), and the size was nearly a pound, which puts my due date at May 9th (four days earlier than I was previously told). Then she looked at me and smiled and said, "You guys wanted to know the gender, right?" We both nodded emphatically.

She said, "It's pretty obvious! Here are the legs. . .and what's in between. . .it's a boy!"

Woo hoooooo!!!! He was cooperative :-)

Joe and I looked at each other again with the BIGGEST grins on our faces. That had been our instinct all along! We were soooo happy!

From there, the ultrasound technician turned the monitor towards me for the fun part--for us to really watch our baby. I think my mouth was open the entire time and I'm not sure I even breathed! I was in a state of shock as far as that being the baby inside of me at that exact moment!!! It was the coolest thing ever. He kept stretching and moving his legs, then he reached his arms from his waist to his mouth for awhile and then above his head! The best part was when he arched his back and kept opening and closing his mouth!!!! His neck moved, his head turned, and he wiggled around. Joe was like, "Can't you feel that?"

"No!" I shook my head.

The ultrasound technician said that at this point I wouldn't--any movement I feel is from a heat-butt or a foot-jab directly to me.

I keep replaying the "video" in my head of our baby moving all around yesterday. It was so cute! At one time I thought I even saw hair on its head (I definitely saw ears). The ultrasound technician seemed to enjoy how active he was, too, although she said we might change our minds when he's born, haha. I told Joe he must not take after him, since Joe's so calm! He's already his own little guy!!!! It's so unbelievable that he already has a personality. My goal is to have no expectations for him when he's born. I want to just see who he is and let him be himself throughout his life.

OMG! I'm going to be the mother of a son!!!!! I'm so proud!

The ultrasound technician printed out six pictures for us to have (profile, mouth closed; profile, mouth open; front shot; long legs; cute feet; legs spread a part "it's a boy!"):As we walked to the parking lot, I couldn't stop looking at the photos and smiling. I was so giddy and hyper and on an adrenaline high! The best part was seeing Joe so happy, proud, and excited. The pressure's off--his last name will be carried on! I know he would have been happy with a girl, but for the past several years he's shared his cute fantasy of sitting on the couch with his toddler son, drinking from a sippy cup and watching the Chicago Bears, so I know that was his wish. :-) I have a feeling that image will be a reality! Although I'm not sure this is good news for any plans I try to make with them each fall :p

AHHH, can you believe now I'm all about being pregnant again? For those of you who have been reading regularly, you know that I really haven't been able to say I've loved being pregnant. Even with the second trimester being better than the first, it's still been uncomfortable and not an easy experience. But yesterday I seriously LOVED being pregnant! I finally understood what everyone means when they say "it's all worth it, the good will outweigh the bad, etc." Honestly until then I'd been like "whatever, yeah, yeah." But now I'm confident we'll be doing this again! :-)

This was exactly what I'd always pictured for myself growing up!!! I always wanted my first born to be a boy and my other child to be a girl. (I've always liked the idea of my little girl having an older brother to protect her and pave the path for her. . .I know, I say that while everyone reading who has an older brother is thinking about how they were tormented instead, haha!)

Also, I've always felt that having a boy would be better for my writing. I don't know why, but it just seems like I won't put as much pressure on myself to be "the perfect mom" and so I'll still be able to work on my novels. I still plan to give him attention obviously(!), but from my world observations it seems that boys might be easier as far as still turning out well unless their moms are alcoholics or abusive or something! But girls have all kinds of issues even if their mothers are normal, so I think I'd put more pressure on myself if this one was a girl because I wouldn't want to mess her up! Therefore, I think I'll be a better mom to a boy at this time. . .and then maybe with the experience/practice I will be better prepared if I have a girl next and won't put as much pressure on myself. I still hope I'm a good mommy to my little boy, though!

I'm so excited to finally be able to start decorating the nursery and planning for Logan's arrival. Yes, we're pretty sure his name is Logan, but obviously we still have time to change our minds. But I doubt we will since we don't feel we picked it--he did!

The reason why I've always thought this baby was a boy was because during the two weeks before I knew I was pregnant (but I was) the name Logan kept popping in my head. It seemed to come out of nowhere. I hadn't heard it recently and no one I knew had it (although one of Joe's old co-workers named his son Logan, and we've since found out that Joe's best man's fiance's son is named Logan which we first learned in March, but at that time it didn't mean anything to me and so I completely forgot! Same with one of our friends who had a daughter last year--their boy name for her was Logan). Each day the name became stronger in my mind, so I told myself I should ask Joe if he liked it to consider for a son someday. Guess what? Joe did! That was a big deal because up until then we'd never agreed on any boy's name before! I'd barely had a chance to decide if I liked it myself, but once I thought about it, I did! So when I found out I was pregnant I was like, Okay that's creepy. Has my son been telling me what he wants me to name him?!

We've been reading our baby name book the past three months but our favorite is still Logan. So now we're trying to decide on the middle name. Joseph after Joe, my dad, and step grandpa? Or James after Joe's dad, Jim? Or Richard after my stepdad? We'll see what Logan tells us. . . :-)

Meanwhile, his name if he was a girl was going to be Kristianna because I've always wanted to name my daughter a form of Kris--but I'd prefer a less common name than just Kristy or Kristen, etc. I think Kristianna (pronounced Chris-tee-awna) is so beautiful, but am not sure if it's too unique. So I'm glad we still have time before we have to decide on that one.

Anyway, for as active as he is, I haven't felt a lot of kicks since Friday. I thought I possibly did in the car on Sunday, but with the vibration/movement it was really hard to tell for sure. I also thought I did on both Monday and Tuesday, but then when I stopped to concentrate there wasn't anything. But I've learned not to be impatient, as everything has ended up being double for me, LOL. (For example, my first six weeks I didn't have any sickness but we all know what ended up happening with that, then I read about back pain but didn't experience that for a few more weeks--and then ended up having it terribly, among other things--although my hair & skin have improved a lot lately!) So I'll probably end up being one of those women who is actually in pain from the baby's kicks :p (Or, maybe since I'm prepared for the worst this time it won't be so bad, since everything else I hadn't thought was going to be a problem and it was.)

I'm still at 12 lbs-gained, although this week (in my nineteenth week, one earlier than I'd predicted) I am now officially in maternity clothes!

As of yesterday Logan and I have truly bonded, just because I feel like I have a better sense of who he is now. He's not just an alien in my tummy anymore. He's Logan! I thank God for this greatest blessing in life!!!!!!!