I'm almost 4 cm dilated!!!!!

This was originally written on Tuesday, April 15, 2008:

OMG--this might be my last blog before I go into labor! I really thought I was going to go into labor yesterday, as it was my worst day of the third trimester (I couldn’t stand, walk, or lay down without a lot of pain), but I am still pregnant, three-and-a-half weeks before my due date. However I was notified today that there's no way L.J. is waiting until then to come. . .in fact, this week is looking really good!!!! (UPDATE: I went into labor 2.5 days later--click here for my son's birth story.) I’ll back up and bring you up-to-date.

Last Thursday it was fun for me to read my birth story. I’d read it in high school and college but it obviously meant even more to me now. This time I was surprised at how fast my mom’s labor seemed! I was born at 2:15 pm on December 21st, weighing 4 lbs, 2 oz. Fortunately, I didn’t suffer any problems (aside from jaundice) and I was able to go home five weeks later.

I also hadn’t realized that my mom had back labor - she had no contractions! And, I pointed out to her that they must not have told women back then not to take aspirin or use heating pads, LOL. My pregnancy experience has been nothing like my mom's. That's a good thing. . .except I have been really emotional lately because I don't feel I can make it another day. On Friday I spent all day pushing myself to clean the house for Joe’s mom’s visit, hoping to induce labor, but it didn’t work. :-( Instead, I just felt even more disabled that night, unable to walk normally because my body was in so much pain. Aside from my bed, I also slept on our futon and couch—it was not a pleasant night.

On Saturday I woke up unable to feel my hands and feet, as I previously mentioned had sort of been happening lately. (Update: I now know this was de Quervain's disease, which I blogged about here: Part One. Part Two.) When I looked at my feet they were purple and huge! I stepped on the scale and broke down in tears: I had gained seven pounds in seven days! I didn’t even know that was possible! The last time I'd weighed myself I'd been at 33 lbs gained which is fine (doctors say an average-sized woman should gain between 25-35 lbs). Instead, I somehow skyrocketed to 40 already--even though I've been eating less lately because I'm so full of baby that my stomach feels full pretty much all of the time! (Although I admit I never gave up my ice cream, so maybe eating that every day. . .)

Our immediate thought was that maybe I had high blood pressure now. It was apparent that my body was retaining water and increasing in blood volume. But, since my doctor’s office is closed on the weekends, I waited until Monday morning to go in and have my blood pressure checked. The good news was that it wasn’t high. The bad news is that I prefer explanations and solutions to why I’m feeling a certain way and so I started crying when I got out to my car and called Joe. I’m obviously experiencing symptoms of high blood pressure without technically having it (must just be the common swelling), and so that adds to my discomfort. Since I didn't actually have it, there was nothing they could do to relieve my pain (if I did have it, they would have immediately scheduled an induction).

Anyway, Joe’s mom arrived around 11:30 on Saturday and so we ate lunch and then showed her L.J.’s nursery and all of his things. Around 3 pm we went to Motherhood Maternity (store) because Sandi wanted to buy me a top for breastfeeding after the baby is here. She also bought me a gift card so that was super nice. (By the way, remember how a month ago I stopped being able to wear my first pair of maternity pants? Well I wore one of my shirts for the last time now because it's too tight, too.)

Afterwards, we went out to La Mesa (Mexican restaurant) for supper, hoping the spicy food would induce labor for me, LOL. No such luck.

We spent the rest of the evening watching a DVD that Sandi had brought. It was a fun weekend, but I wasn’t able to enjoy it as much as I normally would have because I just never had any relief from my discomforts. I even took a break for an hour to lay in bed and listen to my relaxation CD which helped somewhat during the time, but not after I re-joined the land of the living.

On Sunday morning we went out to breakfast at I-Hop and I could only take two bites of my food because I was having contraction-like-thingies and L.J. was kicking at the same time (plus, I was sitting which always makes me more miserable).

A couple of hours later we took the dogs to the dog park again, so I was able to stand which was a little better.

After that Sandi headed back home, and I put on my pjs and vegged out the rest of the day/night. Monday was pretty much the same, as I was physically unable to do anything—even just walking to the bathroom made me cry in pain. I've barely slept at all the past two nights, once again having to sleep in three different areas of our house because every position is so uncomfortable. At first I thought maybe all of this was preparing me better able to handle the pain of childbirth, but now it appears it’s just wearing me out before I even get there!

Soooo I received the best news ever today when I went to my doctor's for my weekly check-up (the first for her checking my cervix if you don't count my pre-term labor scare in Feb.) and she told me that I was over 3 cm dilated! That means labor could start any minute! Also, she could see his head--I forgot how much he was stationed but it was a good amount--and my cervix was really soft/effaced, the bag of water ideal for breaking soon, etc.

Before she'd checked me, she had admitted that for some women these last three weeks actually aren't healthy--sometimes serious problems come up, so an induction might end up being necessary. But, thankfully, after she saw how far along I was, she was confident I will not have to be induced--this baby is going to come on its own. YEAY!!!!!! She seemed as happy as I was not to have to schedule an induction (because pitocin also leads to c-sections), however, she was concerned about L.J.'s size--he's measuring over 40 weeks now so she scheduled an ultrasound for 2:30 this afternoon to make sure that he is not too big. She thinks it could be that my body is retaining all of my fluids (thus the symptoms I've been having despite my blood pressure being fine) and it is just making it appear that he's bigger than normal. But we need to get it checked out just to make sure. Joe is going to meet me there.

Ever since I left my appt, I've been having menstural-like cramps non-stop. (I went to get my hair cut so my hair's all ready, LOL.) I'm hoping maybe she got things started :-) I'm just so happy that it's not going to be much longer, I have never felt such relief in my life! It should only be a matter of days before I get to meet my son!!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: I just wanted to type a quick note after my earlier blog to say that the ultrasound went well--the reason for my big belly (haha) is that I have more than average amniotic fluid (a condition called polyhydramnios which I would find out two months later was caused by L.J.s inability to swallow amniotic fluid like most babies, due to a bracial cleft); the technician said it's probably a sign that I'm going to deliver soon. For size, he's measuring approximately 7 lbs 9 oz and 19 inches long. Whew (that's considered fine)!!! The technician was amazed that I've been able to move at all; she said that it's no wonder I'm in such pain, he's taking up every bit of space! (Normally at this stage women have some room up top because the baby has dropped--but even though he's dropped, I don't.) She said the same thing as my doctor about his head being far down so this was the best pic she could get for me (his face is smashed, hehe). He was sucking his thumb and playing with his feet, isn't that adorable? We kept laughing every time she went to his face because his cheeks were so chubby, hehe! It was really fun to see him again now at this stage compared to four months ago. His heartbeat was 140 and his head was small - good for a natural labor, although she said that his tummy was on the chunky size :p We were glad to see he was still a boy, haha. As I'm sure you can tell, even though I'm still in pain, I'm so much happier :-)

Second & Third Trimester Pregnancy Signs

This was originally written on Wednesday, February 06, 2008:

Aside from skin changes and back pain (which I blogged about in the last two posts), there can be high blood pressure. If left untreated during pregnancy, hypertension reduces blood flow to the uterus and increases the risk of intrauterine-growth restriction. In the mom-to-be, high blood pressure can cause seizures, kidney disease, liver disease, heart damage, and brain damage.

I'm good in this area, but I'm not out of the woods yet, as many pregnant women don't develop it until sometime during the third trimester.

Another possibility is swelling. Swollen feet and ankles may become an issue at this stage of pregnancy. Your growing uterus puts pressure on the veins that return blood from your feet and legs. Fluid retention and dilated blood vessels may leave your face and eyelids puffy, especially in the morning.

If you have problems with swelling, use cold compresses on the affected areas. Lying down or using a footrest may relieve ankle swelling. It may also help to swim or even stand in a pool.

Knock on wood, so far, so good on this. I think it helps that I am at home most days--in fact, I think that's been to my advantage on many pregnancy-related issues because I can adjust my body accordingly to what it wants/needs.

Shortness of Breath. You may get winded easily as your uterus expands beneath your diaphragm, the muscle just below your lungs. This may improve when the baby settles deeper into your pelvis before delivery. In the meantime, practice good posture and sleep on your side.

I have definitely been noticing this lately as I go up and down our LONG staircase! (Pray I don't fall. . .thanks!)

Braxton Hicks Contractions. These contractions are warm-ups for the real thing. They're painless and come and go unpredictably. True labor contractions get longer, stronger and closer together. If you're having contractions that concern you, contact your health care provider.

I haven't experienced these yet.

Gestational Diabetes. This is a temporary type of diabetes that sometimes develops during pregnancy. Prompt treatment and healthy lifestyle choices can help you manage your blood sugar levels and deliver a healthy baby.

Anemia. Anemia is an abnormally low level of red blood cells or hemoglobin, a protein in red blood cells that contains iron. Severe anemia may slow your baby's growth or trigger preterm labor. To treat anemia, you may need to take iron supplements.

Between 16 and 20 weeks, pregnant women can start to feel the baby moving around inside. Toward the end of the second trimester, you may also feel repeated "blips"--your baby's hiccups!

I have not experienced these last three yet, although I mentioned in a previous post that I had this next one.

Bad Dreams. As your baby becomes more of a reality, your dreams might become more startling. Don't freak out if you wake up in a cold sweat -- it's normal to feel a little anxious.

Sex Drive. During your fifth month, you might suddenly feel much more sexual. Your body is manufacturing estrogen in overdrive: The ovaries produce as much in a single day as a nonpregnant woman's ovaries do in three years. And, since the first trimester's nausea and fatigue have tapered off, you might just feel more aroused.

Hmmm, I've actually noticed the opposite! Well, when you feel & move like a whale. . .

Vaginal Discharge. Potentially heavy vaginal discharge is common at the end of pregnancy. If you saturate a panty liner within a few hours or wonder if the discharge is leaking amniotic fluid, contact your health care provider.

Nasal Congestion. Your nose feels stuffy and sometimes you will experience nosebleeds during pregnancy. Your blood volume increases by nearly 45%, which is an amazing increase in volume. It affects the membranes inside your nose, causing them to swell. Try increasing your fluids and talk to your healthcare provider about what you can use to ease your nasal dryness, a cold steam humidifier may help increase the moisture in your home. Increased blood circulation can soften your gums as well, which may cause minor bleeding when you brush or floss your teeth. Make sure you visit your dentist incase you develop "pregnancy gingivitus."

Until recently, I definitely experienced the stuffy nose, and there was one day when my gums bled while I brushed my teeth. I also noticed the other day that a pimple popped in the shower. . .and it took forever to stop the bleeding. Maybe my increased blood volume is also why my foot injury was so bad on my birthday.

Sciatica. Some women will experience this discomfort off and on during pregnancy. It is characterized by tingling, numbness and pain affecting the buttocks, hips and thighs. The sciatic nerve branches from the lower back, down the buttocks and legs. The enlarging uterus and growing baby put pressure on these nerves. Sometimes a simple change in position of the baby may help to alleviate the discomforts of sciatica. If you are troubled by this bothersome and unpleasant discomfort, talk to your healthcare provider.

I have yet to experience that one.

Insomnia. The reasons are numerous. First of all, you cannot get comfortable in bed. You position yourself on one side that took you ten minutes to arrange, and then your hip falls asleep. So, you turn over on your other side, rearranging the pillows again, and then your arm falls asleep. It feels like a never ending battle at times. Another reason is that you may have so much on your mind about the baby, delivery, pain of labor, and being a mom that your mind never stops. Anxiety plays a big role in insomnia. Take a warm shower before bedtime, read a good book before bed, remove yourself from the bedroom where you are having difficulty sleeping. Sometimes a change of rooms will help. Make yourself as comfortable as possible with pillows. Avoid caffeinated beverages and exercise immediately before bedtime.

I experience this problem at least once a week. As of yesterday, I can no longer sleep on my stomach (I know, I was already doing that way longer than the norm) so that makes the discomfort even worse. My body parts are constantly falling asleep these days.

Loose and Aching Joints. Some of you may feel as if your joints are loose or pop or just feel achy. Hormones released toward the end of your pregnancy soften the cartilage joining the pubic bone in front of the pelvis. It allows the pelvis to expand 1 to 1/5 cms enlarging the bony opening for the baby to pass through. This is not the only place that cartilage is found. It is up your back, between your spine, in your ankles and toes, and some women have the sense of achiness throughout their bodies.

Leg Cramps. It hurts so badly that you cannot even move. Try locking your knee down in the bed and pointing your toes or pull them toward your head. You should see immediate relief of the discomfort. This is better than rubbing your leg or jumping out of bed and trying to walk it out. Sometimes you will lose the ability to stand on the leg with which is referred to as a "Charlie Horse." If your partner is there with you, have him try the above technique on your leg for you. Practicing stretching exercises 2-3 times each day (especially before bedtime) will help prevent the cramps.

I have not had to deal with the last two. But the final one I noticed around Christmas: Mood Swings. I was at gordmans trying on maternity clothes, and found some underwear on hangers. When I went back to the dressing room to try everything on, I was greeted not so nicely by one of the employees.

"Miss! Your cart needs to go over here!"

Okay. So I gave the woman my cart and once again proceeded to a dressing room.

"No! You can't just go in there-I need to see how many items you have!"

Fine, no problem. I walked back over to her and she gave me a number for the amount of clothes I had. Then I was finally allowed to go into the dressing room.

After I'd put the first shirt or pants on, I realized that one of my hangers was missing: the underwear. So I walked back out and noticed the panties were sitting on her counter. She was talking to someone and so I reached to pick them up and she tried to snatch them from my hand!

Shocked, I said, "I wanted to try these on, too."

In a very snotty tone she said, "You can't try on underwear!"

I was confused because I have tried on undergarments my entire life and no employee at any store has ever told me I couldn't. "How am I supposed to know if they fit?"

She stuttered for a few seconds and said, "Well you can't try them on."

"Then I don't want them then!" And I threw them at her and walked back into my dressing room and slammed the door!

Now anyone who knows me knows this is not my typical behavior. I've never yelled or thrown something at a store employee before! But I had absolutely no tolerance that day. I almost started sobbing in the dressing room--until I saw a sign above the mirror that said "Leave your underwear on when trying on other undergarments." A-HA! Exactly like I thought! (That's what I've always done before--I would never try them on naked.) At the time, I was in the middle of changing again and so I put on another outfit before going back out to inform her that the sign made it obvious that it was okay for me to try on the underwear, as long as I left my current pair on. But, she was gone (with the underwear) and a very cheerful woman had taken her place. I went back into the room to try on the rest of the clothes but because of my sour mood it was hard to like any of them.

That was my birthday so when I got home is when I sliced my foot on the glass. :/

Anyway, there haven't been any more incidences where I've thrown things or yelled at strangers, but I definitely have more of an "I don't care" attitude since being pregnant. It's like I've lost some of my inhibitions or something. I've been reacting to my emotions immediately rather than thinking about consequences until after the fact.

According to various info scattered across the internet: "It's common to have mood swings during pregnancy, because of hormonal changes that affect your levels of neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain) and the broad range of feelings you may have about becoming a parent.

Pregnancy can be a stressful and overwhelming time. You may be overjoyed at the thought of having a baby one day, and then just as quickly begin wondering what you've gotten yourself into. You may be worried about whether you'll be a good mom, whether the baby will be healthy, and how the cost of adding a child to your household will affect your family's future finances. And you may worry about how your relationship with your partner and your other children will be affected — whether you'll still be able to give them the attention they need.

Even if your baby is very much wanted, at times you may have mixed feelings about the pregnancy and what's ahead. That's not surprising, considering that the expectations we set for parents are so high these days, and the pressure starts even before the baby is born. You may be constantly wondering: Am I reading the right books? Am I buying the right products? Will I know how to stimulate my child's development properly and build his self-esteem?

In the meantime, your body's changing and you may be feeling unattractive. You may be worried about putting on too much weight or looking "fat" as your body expands to accommodate pregnancy, while at the same time feeling that you can't exercise as much as you might want to or used to.

It's not uncommon to feel like you've lost control over your body and your life during this time. All these concerns may take your emotions on a roller-coaster ride."

Wow, I couldn't have said it better! The good news is that all of these not-so-fun symptoms are temporary. For that final one, it's helped me lately to put complete trust in my body--that obviously it's been able to do all of this miraculous stuff so far, and so I'm going to be fine during the remainder of my pregnancy--as well as when the baby is here. Relaxation can do wonders.

Remember that you will never know everything and that's okay. You will learn what you need to, when you need to learn it. I'm sure there will be something that I look back on in the future and see that life would have been easier had I learned about it sooner. But since when is life easy? I could spend 24/7 reading about every scenerio possible and it still wouldn't be enough. I'd spend my life unsatisfied and constantly searching to fill a hole that is unending. Not my idea of fun. This type of lifestyle is unhealthy to anyone--but especially pregnant women. As you can see from this post, there are enough natural stressors during pregnancy without creating more!