My Newborn's First Week

I'm picking up where I left off after Logan's birth story, which you can find under the October archives. This was originally written on Friday, April 25, 2008:

On Friday, April 18, 2008 after I gave birth and my doctor told me goodbye (she came to see me later that evening to inform me who was going to be on-call if I needed anything over the weekend), and Joe went to visit Logan in the nicu, I called my mom & stepdad, dad & stepmom, and Joe's mom to tell them they were grandparents! My mom had seen my blog that morning and had called four times between Joe & my phone, lol.

For the first two hours after Logan was born (at 10:30 am) I was recovering in the room I gave birth (#3), which meant the hospital staff tried to get me to eat (but I couldn't) and pee (but I couldn't, so unfortunately I experienced the lovely cathetar one time).

I had the best nurse ever (she was my third of the day; #2 was my least fav after she gave me a dirty look because she felt I should have had a c-section--I'm glad my doctor was the one in charge). So I was sad at 12:30 pm when I had to move from my "ideal room" to the smaller room where I'd be spending the next two days. I'd never stayed in a hospital before and was amazed that nurse #3 seemed to not mind doing so much for me and cleaning up after me. She was just so incredibly nice and easy-going about everything. Personally, I could never work in the medical field!

She helped me into a wheel chair down the hall to room 229, removed my hep loc, and said goodbye. Logan was brought into my room a couple of hours later so that I could hold him again and spend time with him. I also tried breastfeeding for the first time and was relieved that he took to it right away and that it didn't hurt at all.

My fourth nurse (who had assisted me once I got to my new room) left at 3 pm (when my mom & stepdad arrived), and my fifth nurse was another favorite (Kayla)--she helped me pee for the first time since going into labor, and then eat for the first time. I also took my first shower and she checked me periodically to make sure I was healing and that my uterus was going down in size. (She showed me how I could feel it, too--there was a little knot by my belly button!)

Joe's mom arrived between 4:30-5:00, after stopping at our house to let the dogs out. We all sat around and talked and everyone held Logan for the next few hours. Then my mom & stepdad checked into a hotel and Sandi went to our house to stay with our dogs.

My sixth nurse (Stephanie) worked from 7 pm to 7 am, so she came in regularly for my checks and also so I could breastfeed Logan every two hours. Joe & my sleep was scattered on Friday night. I'd never done something so exhuasting/tiring in my life as giving birth, and yet once you have a baby you're not really allowed to sleep afterwards. . .for months! If you put our choppy minutes of sleep together, somehow we both managed to get a total of six hours--which was wonderful. Except, at first whenever I closed my eyes I kept seeing images of that morning and feeling my doctor twist Logan! :-( (That had been what hurt the most during childbirth.) The whole thing seemed like a dream. Looking back now my experience seems more scary to me than it did at the time. Even though I did what I was supposed to with the HypnoBirthing, I'm amazed I actually remained so calm (that's not my usual tendency, lol). But thank goodness I did. HypnoBirthing saved me from having a 30 hr labor (as well as any painful back labor), which is very common for posterior babies. (For those interested in HypnoBirthing you can read my blog about it here.) I've since learned I was really lucky to have such a fast labor--3 hrs before the pushing phase, not to mention able to handle the EXTRA pain that the posterior position causes. Here's what the internet says:

Occiput Posterior occurs in 15-30% of labors. When the baby is in a posterior position, the bony part of the head is pressed against the bony part of the pelvis. The pressure of the contractions pushes the head into the pelvis and can cause tremendous back pain. Some women feel the pressure even between contractions.

Because the posterior position puts bone near bone, it is more difficult for the baby to fit into the pelvis. Posterior babies generally require longer labors, and if the baby persists in a posterior position, second stage may be longer than average as well. This can be fatiguing for a woman. Mothers whose babies are face-up at birth tend to push longer, need oxytocin (Pitocin) more often, and have a significantly higher risk of having an assisted vaginal delivery or a c-section.

Those who do give birth vaginally have a higher rate of episiotomy and severe perineal lacerations than women whose babies are in the more favorable face-down position, even after you account for the higher rate of forceps and vacuum-assisted delivery. Midwives have long advocated assuming a hands-and-knees position to let gravity help rotate the heavier back of the baby toward your abdomen and hopefully move the baby to the anterior position.
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So, hopefully with my next pregnancy my baby will be anterior and I can have another vaginal delivery with HypnoBirthing. I've heard that girls are generally smaller, so maybe if I have a girl and she's 6 lbs and anterior, she will be able to fit easily through my pelvis--and also my pelvis shouldn't be as tight now. (UPDATE: I've since researched this subject even more and learned how to avoid another posterior baby. Click here to read my other blogs about this: Part One. Part Two. Part Three.) Most importantly, I don't want my next baby to go through trauma, as this week with Logan has been bad/scary/sad enough. (More on that in a minute.)

On Saturday morning Joe & I went to an hour newborn class at our hospital and then my mom & stepdad came back over from their hotel. The doctor on call was the one who ended up circumsizing Logan, which wasn't as bad as I'd thought. It was only sad those first couple of hours, but by the next day he no longer acted like it hurt when we put ointment on it, and by the third day it was completely healed and looked perfect. (There's no medical reason to do them nowadays, but I took one look at what an uncircumsized one looks like, thanks to google, and now I know why they say the reason to do them is aesthetic. :~ Since most boys in the Midwest are circumsized we didn't want Logan to be singled out when he's older. . .we'd let him look nice "down there.")

My dad came to the hospital for the first time right afterward (my stepmom was in Michigan visiting her other grandchildren), so when he met Logan he was a bit fussy; the nurses had been saying that he was very strong-willed with a dominant personality and had the best set of lungs in the whole nursery (for someone who wasn't breathing when they came out, he was the loudest screamer)! One nurse said that I didn't seem to be like that and asked if my husband was. Definitely not, lol. Sounds like my doctor's prediction while I was pregnant with Logan might be correct--the nurses all said they believe he will be a leader and a perfectionist. He's going to let everyone know exactly what he wants and won't settle for anything less. We will see if these people are right as the years go by. It is good when it comes to his diaper. Since I can't smell (due to head injuries as a child), he's the perfect baby for me--he screams whenever it needs changing, haha!

Meanwhile, a lactation consultant came to see how I was doing with breastfeeding. I can definitely see how women get frustrated. Apparently I have everything going for me, but it's still not easy. Sometimes he'll do great and I'll start to feel confident with nursing, and then the next time he won't get any milk all. (Our pediatrician says he is, what is called, "a lazy eater.") But overall I am loving it--I never knew what mothers meant when they said it's a bonding experience, but it really is--it's so special!

Joe had gone back to the house to get some things and to eat lunch with his mom, and then they came to my hospital room so we were all together with Logan. My dad headed back to Iowa before supper, and then my mom & stepdad went to eat, while Sandi, Joe, Logan, and I hung out in my room until my parents came back and then everyone left for the night around 8 pm.

Joe and I were required by the state of Nebraska to watch two videos: one on SIDS and one on shaken baby syndrome, so we watched those as well as some others on the hospital's channel. I'd had my seventh nurse all that day (Mel) and then Stephanie came back for overnight. I only got about 4 hrs of sleep, so on Sunday I was running on adrenaline. (Joe didn't sleep well either; he said his back hurt after spending two nights on the little "couch" but I told him I wasn't going to feel sorry for him! :p I'm sure that's how hospitals can get by with not having a comfortable place for the husbands to sleep--who's going to complain after what the mothers just went through?! Haha.)

I ate breakfast and put on normal clothes for the first time since giving birth (maternity pants and a shirt I had brought in my suitcase--I was smart enough not to even attempt my pre-pregnancy clothes yet). Then I packed everything and was ready to leave. I have to admit I didn't want to go. I'd been taken care of so well at the hospital by all of the nurses and I knew they "had my back" with Logan--any question I had could immediately be answered (the night before, Mel had taught Joe & I how to change a diaper because neither of us had ever done it before). Now I was going to have to leave and be completely on my own. Scary! I actually cried a bit once my eighth nurse (Dawn) went through all of the discharge procedures and we put Logan into his carseat to go home.

The pediatrician on call looked at him and said he was healthy with the exception of some jaundice (his biliruben count was 13), but that was to be expected after getting bruised in the birth canal. (It usually shows up in either premies, or term babies that have had bruising during birth.) I hadn't thought it was anything to be concerned about since I'd had it as a baby (serious enough to almost need a blood transfusion) and I turned out fine, and the level has to be 30 to cause brain damage, hearing loss, and other side effects. So, we left the hospital thinking that was that.

I sat in the backseat with Logan (who slept the whole way home) and when we pulled into our driveway, Sandi was standing outside with a "It's A Boy" sign & balloon and a stork hanging on our garage. :-) Inside, on our table she had a cake, trail mix, a stuffed stork for the dogs, a big horse balloon, a bottle bank and two DVDs! My mom & stepdad had also given us a balloon and my dad & stepmom had given us a Baby Einstein toy, so Logan is spoiled already. :-)

I followed "the rules" of walking into the house without Logan to greet the dogs and give them my love & attention before introducing them. They have done excellent. I really wasn't worried because they are not aggressive dogs, but I didn't know what to expect since they hadn't ever been around babies before. Bella always gently walks up to Logan with her tail wagging and sniffs him. Cosmo likes to just sit and watch him, or perch on our couch so he can look into Logan's pack n play.

We thanked our parents for their help over the weekend and then they drove back to Iowa. Joe and I looked at the pictures and video we had taken at the hospital and went to bed. . .for a few minutes. Logan woke us up every hour!!!! Our sleep was in minutes at a time. In the end, those minutes equaled two hours for the both of us. At one point Joe was changing Logan's diaper as he was wiggling and screaming (Logan is super strong--he fights so hard against me I sometimes worry I'm going to break his arm or leg), and Joe said in an exasperated voice, "You're going to be a handful!"

For me, I haven't found it stressful but rather emotional to watch Logan get so worked up (his face turns red, his mouth opens as wide as possible, his arms and legs writhe all around--and then there's the tortorous scream). At the hospital one of the nurses had told me not to let him make ME cry--she knew he had that kind of cry and she was right. At first it did, but now I know that it will pass as soon as whatever is going on is over (his mood changes from night to day in a split second).

On Monday we had our first pediatrician appt. at 11 am, so we put Logan in a cute little outfit and headed off. His weight had dropped from 7 lbs, 13.7 oz to 6 lbs, 15 oz which at first made me feel like a bad mother (had I not given him enough to eat?) but I learned it is normal for newborns during their first week to lose 10% of their birth weight (Logan lost 11% in three days). So I was instructed to feed him as much as possible (babies can't overeat--that's a learned thing that doesn't happen until the age of 2-3) or else we'd have to supplement formula. They then gave him another jaundice test and we said goodbye. While we were on the road, the pediatrician's office called with bad news. Logan's biliruben score was at 21. Anything over 20 meant he needed to be hospitalized. I burst into tears. They said to immediately admit him for the night. I couldn't believe it--Logan had actually been the least fussy he'd ever been that day (by now it was around 2 pm)--he seemed so healthy!

We went to the front desk and gave them our information. A nurse had told me when I was in the hospital to expect my emotions to be a rollercoaster upon leaving, so this news made my hormones even more sensitive. I couldn't even get a sentence out without crying uncontrollably. We were taken to a temporary room because all of the main rooms were full, but they had an incubator in there and so Logan was immediately put under phototherapy lights and on IV fluids. That was how we spent the next seven hours. Joe went home to get our suitcases again (while I just sat by my baby's side) and then at 9 pm we were given our permanent room. We were able to get six hours of sleep, which felt wonderful to me on Tuesday morning. Logan's biliruben count had dropped to 15.4 so they said he'd be able to be released later that day (anything below 16 was good enough to go home) with a fiberoptic blanket for a couple of days that is hooked to a machine called a wallaby. His weight had also gone up to 7 lbs, 2 oz. While we waited to be discharged, lactation consultants came to check on me. Thanks to more helpful tips, breastfeeding got even better. My milk had started to come in on Monday and so my breasts were hurting really bad on Tuesday. Fortunately, the hospital let me use their top-of-the-line breast pump to help with the engorgement phase. I got spoiled, as back when I took my breastfeeding class we'd been told that our hospital was going to give us Medela's Manual Harmony pump so that was all I'd planned to use (since I don't work outside the home, pumping wasn't going to be an every day occurance). But I haven't been able to get any relief from the manual compared to the Medela Symphony Dual Pump.

Joe and I were glad to return home that evening. . .Logan slept a lot better than he had during our other night at home. He wasn't fussy at all. He didn't scream once and actually looked around and seemed alert and content. I loved holding him and rocking him in our recliner that night. Every day I've grown to love him more. It's not that I didn't love him immediately when he came out, but he really was a stranger. Being "connected" doesn't happen immediately. Over the past several days I keep getting to know him and am growing so attached and close to him now. That's the worst part about being a parent--this love is dangerous; I can't stand the thought of anything bad ever happening to him! He's so precious.

He's also gotten cute! :-) When his weight had dropped he had lost his chubby cheeks but now they are back and are adorable. We really can't tell who he takes after at this point. Aside from Joe's dark, thick hair, he doesn't really look like either of us! He often reminds me of my maternal grandfather, though (expressions he makes) so we'll see if Logan's features become more obvious as he gets older.

When Logan was in the incubator I totally recognized him from the ultrasound that I had in December. For the past four months I had replayed that day over and over in my mind because it had been so special to see Logan's mannerisms, etc. He moves the exact same way now!!!! It's also funny to see how active he is even when sleeping. Joe was watching him in the incubator kick his legs and punch his arms and was like "wow!" I said, "Tell me about it--I know exactly what those moves feel like from inside of me!"

That night I got about 4 hours of sleep. On Wednesday morning, a home healthcare nurse came over to check Logan. His weight was 7 lbs, 3 oz so that was good (he'd gained an ounce). . .but his biliruben score had risen to 17.3. We'd been told that it would probably raise a little when we got home, but then it should drop again once and for all--for good. Here's the info that we received about jaundice:

Over half of all newborns develop some amount of jaundice, a yellow coloring in their skin, during the first week. This is usually a temporary condition, caused by the breakdown of red blood cells. As the old cells are broken down, hemoglobin is changed into bilirubin and removed by the liver. The build-up of bilirubin in the blood is called hyperbilirubinemia. Because bilirubin has a pigment, or coloring, it causes a yellowing of the baby's skin and tissues. As liver function matures, the jaundice goes away. Although low levels of bilirubin are not usually a concern, large amounts can circulate to tissues in the brain and may cause seizures and brain damage. This is a condition called kernicterus. Symptoms of jaundice may include: yellow coloring of the baby's skin (and whites of the eys) and poor feeding or lethargy. Treatment includes phototherapy, fiberoptic blanket, exchange transfusion, discontinued breastfeeding. While jaundice cannot be totally prevented, early recognition and treatment are important in preventing bilirubin levels from rising to dangerous levels.
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As the day went by on Wednesday, Logan seemed to get more and more lethargic. He barely opened his eyes over a 24 hour period. No matter how much we stimulated him, he would not wake up. Also, his skin and eyes looked more yellow. We decided we better call our pediatrician, who then told us to go back to the hospital. My tears flowed again.

We were admitted to Emergency where they checked Logan's bilirubin again. We were soooo relieved when it came back 16.7--meaning it'd gone down from that morning! We didn't regret wanting to be safe than sorry, so we came home in good spirits. When the home healthcare nurse came over on Thursday morning we weren't expecting the emotional rollercoaster to continue. Originally they'd thought we'd be able to take him off of the blanket by Friday. But he hadn't gained any weight (still 7 lbs, 3 oz) and a couple of hours later we received a phone call from our pediatrician's office saying that Logan's level had risen again!!!! It was 17.5 and so he wanted us to come in so that he could check out Logan. We had been on our way out the door to tell Jenn (our neighbor) the news of Logan's birth when the phone rang. (I went over there later by myself with leftover cake.) I couldn't believe it. There hadn't been a day since Logan was born that we didn't have to go to the hospital!

Fortunately, Logan didn't have to be admitted again, but unfortunately I was told that I must cease breastfeeding for 24 hours. Apparently breast milk makes jaundice worse! I guess diseases are the only time that it's not "breast is best." :-( This was disappointing to me because you aren't supposed to introduce a bottle for 4 weeks if you want to breastfeed, so I was worried that Logan may never nurse again. But my first priority was to get rid of the jaundice so that he wouldn't have brain damage. Therefore, we fed him only formula from yesterday evening thru today. The healthcare nurse came over this morning to check him again. His weight had increased to 7 lbs, 5 oz--yeay! We didn't find out his biliruben level until we got to our pediatrician's office at 1 pm (our doctor is off for the weekend but had made us an appt. with his partner). Great news: 14.4!

Our pediatrician's partner said to continue the formula and fiberoptic blanket until Monday--both she and our pediatrician are confident that by then Logan will be completely rid of the jaundice. She also said it's okay if twice a day I breastfeed. The lactation consultants have called me every day since we left the hospital and so I told them about having to feed Logan formula. They recommended that when I give him a bottle, I do it topless so as to keep the skin-on-skin contact. They don't like or agree with formula-feeding, but said that if Logan doesn't take to my breast after Monday I can come in and they'll help me get back to breastfeeding. I pray that he does on his own because, like I said before, he actually did it right away the day he was born, unlike so many newborns--especially those with jaundice (because it makes them too lazy to suck well)--it'd be cruel for Logan to stop because of having to formula-feed for a few days in order to recover from jaundice!

On the bright side, I was able to get 7 hrs (the most in a week) of sleep last night, since Joe could help out with Logan's feedings. Also, his mom is planning to stay with us Sunday thru Wednesday, and she said she could take the night shift on Sunday night so that both of us can sleep all the way through for the first time. My mom is coming the following week. Originally, Sandi was going to come tomorrow and Joe & I were going to go out and celebrate our anniversary (4/26 is our big #5), but after this week we feel we have enough to celebrate here just staying at home with Logan. We'll always remember this anniversary fondly!

I am dreading Joe going back to work on Monday. He said he'd wait until after Logan's pediatrician appt that day--just to make sure that Logan is fully recovered from the jaundice, but I know I'm going to cry again. I have leaned on him so much this past week, I can't imagine doing it on my own. We'd both thought that this past week would be fun--learning our new routine together, etc. Instead, we've had to put all of that on hold due to the jaundice. Even pictures have been at a minimum because there's not many I can take since he's still hooked to the machine. Hopefully next week I can--and have an announcement made. It's too bad Logan's had to go through this, but I know things could be worse. He will recover soon.

As for me, after exactly one week, I can't believe it, but I am fully recovered! I was scared this morning to look at my episiotomy for the first time, thinking things might never look the same down there--but you'd never be able to tell I had a baby one week ago after four hours of pushing! I don't regret the episiotomy because I am completely healed and back to normal, and have even stopped bleeding from childbirth. I leave Joe in the dust again when walking, and I've lost 29 of the 42 lbs I gained while pregnant. Recovery was not bad at all.

I can't believe that a week has already passed since Logan entered the world. I am taking in every moment so that it does not go too fast--I don't want to miss anything!

(Note: I removed the video of Logan's first breath & cry because I was getting hits from strange people.)