Giving Sleeping Plan A Try

This was originally written on Saturday, October 25, 2008:

In my last "update post," Six Months Old, I mentioned that we were going to try a form of The Ferber Method to get Logan to return to sleeping consistently through the night because, for the past month, he has woken up a couple of times each night for 5-10 minutes each.

Last night I finally felt "somewhat" motivated to try the new plan. But, I caved. The good news is, ever since My Son's Fifth Month post when he slept 10 hrs straight thru again, every night for the past two weeks he's slept 11 hrs, and even 12 hrs a couple of nights. . .but has just woken up in the middle. So, hopefully "month 5" was the only month where he only needed 6-8 hrs a night and sometimes no nap at all during the day! Since turning six months old, he's returned to his consistant schedule of taking a two hour nap during the morning and a 30 min. to an hour nap in the afternoon. I'm also having no problem getting him to relax himself and go to sleep without my help in his crib or pack n play. The bad news is, now he's started waking up THREE times a night.

Last night we put him to bed at 10 pm and at 1 am the first cry occured. Usually I don't waste a second--I immediately go in his room, nurse him for 5 minutes, and that's that. But this time I waited for 2-3 minutes before I went into his room. I had hoped maybe he would stop crying on his own before then and would go back to sleep--but he had obviously expected me to come in and so when I didn't, he got louder & louder (i.e. more awake). So, I tried the first tip: no picking up, just soothing (rubbing his back) to see if all he needed was a little comfort to go back to sleep. Nope, that just made him madder. He screamed louder and more aggressively. So, I turned on his music box and mobile. I don't even think he could hear it because he was so worked up. I tried singing "Twinkle, Twinkle" (the only song he likes) to him. Nothing. He was to the point of being so upset that no sound was coming out of him anymore--and I just couldn't bear that. I picked him up and tried bouncing and rocking him but he was still crying! He kept trying to eat my shirt (a sign that he wanted to nurse) and that's when I started thinking about how he really hadn't eaten that much yesterday and so what if he was truly hungry? It would be cruel to deny him. So I fed him 6 oz. of pumped breastmilk so I could be confident he was full so that if he cried again I wouldn't have to wonder about that. He was calm and content by the time he was finished, and when I put him back in his crib he fell right back to sleep.

An hour later (2 am) I was awakened again but not by his usual cry--rather his "I'm hurt" cry, so there was no waiting--I immediately ran into his room and, sure enough, his legs were caught in the crib bars. :-( He'd clearly tried to get them out because his body was at an abnormal angle! As I've mentioned here, the whole reason he started waking up in the night was after he learned how to roll over in his crib. Now all of the rolling and kicking has caused his legs to get scratched up and bleed!

I know this is the time many people put the bumper pads in the crib because supposedly babies at this stage know how not to smother. If I hadn't had those couple of scary incidences with Logan in his pack n play end of August/early September, I probably wouldn't even hesitate and would have already put them back in. But, I've seen him press his face up against the side of the pack n play while sleeping (which isn't as scary to me as the crib w/ bumper pads because the pack n play has holes through the material) so I'm assuming he'll do the same thing in his crib. With that said, I check on him constantly when he's napping in his pack n play and he does always end up moving his face whether he's sleeping face down or against the pack n play material. And, I know from experience that he lets me know immediately when he's uncomfortable. (Plus, we have the sensor monitor.)

So, I am going to put the bumper pads in the washing machine and take it day-by-day, depending on what my gut instinct is when it comes to putting them in his crib. Yesterday I put the pads in for 10 minutes for the very first time during his nap (because he kept slamming his feet against the wood) and I kept an eye on him to see if it looked like he'd be okay. At that time he was, so right now I'm leaning more towards using them just because even putting them on the outside or weaving them between the bars (both great suggestions for anyone else out there, reccomended by my friends Kendra & Shelby) doesn't prevent him these days from kicking his legs out and getting them stuck. Now that it's getting colder he can wear long pants which should prevent the scratching and bleeding (because until now he'd often worn his sleep sack to bed but the other night he broke it apart because he doesn't like the confinement anymore) but sleeping thru the night will continue to be impossible if he's waking up lodged in his crib bars!

But, for last night I kept the bumper pads out and so I carried him downstairs to the pack n play and placed him in there. Fortunately he went back to sleep immediately so I didn't have to do anything, I was able to go right back to sleep, too.

Until 4 am. He woke up crying again and so I decided tonight I'll see if I can do better because I'd lost my motivation at that time. I went downstairs, picked him up from the pack n play, brought him to his room, nursed five minutes, put him in his crib and he slept soundly until 9 this morning.

I realize now that when it comes to stuff like this, it's not just the kids that have to be ready--it's the parents, too! My grandma said babies learn pretty quickly how bad they have to cry before you're going to give in so the longer I wait the harder it will get. But my mom pointed out he's not at a manipulative age yet--he's not purposely trying to get by with anything. It's true, I don't feel my going in there is "spoiling" him yet--like I said last time, my only reason for trying this plan right now is for the future (hoping it will go easier/smoother if I get it changed at this point rather than wait until he's older). Joe's mom said that when he was young she got up with him every time when he cried and so he didn't sleep consistently until he was two years old! She said she remembers finally having to just put a glass of water on his nightstand so that he could get up on his own and rock on his rocking horse until he went back to bed!

So, although RIGHT NOW I would prefer to just keep getting up with him for 5 minutes compared to going through the stressful week or two that it's supposedly going to take (what if it takes longer for us?) of "progressive waiting" before Logan returns to sleeping thru the night--two years seems like a long time for this to go on otherwise! I think if I had more motivation, last night would have gone better. Joe prefers the way we've been doing it, too, because he never has to get up, but last night when Logan was crying continuously it woke him up, too, so that will be his next week or two as well. I'll try it again tonight (Logan went to bed easily at 10:30), but if I feel I'm forcing it then I'll probably wait before trying it again. (Because how can anyone be successful at anything if their heart isn't into it?) I'm really hoping that since Logan did it naturally on his own prior to five months old, as well as with his naps now, that soon he will do the same at night again. (As a baby, I did.)

(UPDATE NOTE: In future posts you will read that we have become supporters of attachment parenting rather than the ferber method because the ferber method is too similar to the cry-it-out method, which I wrote about the dangers of in my three posts: When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade, Preparing For Brachial Cleft Surgery, and My Son's Fifth Month. We never co-slept, but I continued to comfort my son. It took until month 9, but ever since then Logan has slept flawlessly with no interruptions throughout the night [he's almost 4 now, so it was permanent], so I am glad I didn't go against my instinct by pushing the ferber method because that would have been unnecessary stress for all of us, especially Logan. It can happen naturally, no matter what you might hear.)

Other news this week: Logan moved on to peas when eating solids--they turned out to be his least favorite food! I wish I'd had the video camera on because when we first put the spoon in his mouth he actually jumped back! His face was all contorted and he looked at us like what the heck was that?! It was like he was trying to tell us he didn't like it, because he was making all kinds of sounds we'd never heard from him before. So, I put most of it in the fridge the first night and then fed the rest to him last night. He seemed to be more used to it the second time because he finished the container, but he still wasn't quite as happy/excited as he was with all of the other food. He was the same way with green beans tonight--we could only feed him a few bites and then had to give him cereal for the rest of his meal.

I think my milk supply is starting to go down again, but so far it's not noticeable because of the solids. I think those are definitely more filling to him because I keep realizing at the end of each day that he hasn't been drinking as much milk as he always had before. I don't think he's getting the 32 oz that his pediatrician said he should be having with three meals. This past week it's been more like 24 oz. a day. (No more burning 1080 calories for me, haha.) But, I'm definitely not concerned--he's been perfectly content throughout the day (no fussy days) and, as you read in his Six Months Old post, he's still in the 90th percentile for his weight!

The day after his pediatrician's appt. he did something funny. I was in the kitchen at the sink and I turned around and burst out laughing because Logan had pulled himself up while he was lying in his pack n play so that his hands were gripping the side and his head was resting inbetween them! I gasped when I saw his face with a big grin staring at me! Of course since then he keeps trying to do it again--I can tell he thinks it's pretty funny to be able to see me from in there. But it made me realize that I definitely need to start child-proofing everything now.

Our pediatrician said this is when he's going to start being more mobile (it was today that Joe started crawling--as in one week after his six month birthday) so we're going to need to lower the pack n play bed so that he doesn't end up climbing/falling out! He still can't crawl yet, but he will if Joe gives him something to push his legs on, so I'm guessing he might next month. It makes me nervous that so much is going to be happening and changing this month, after I finally adjusted to him leaving the newborn phase now he's going on to another phase and I realize there's even more I need to know for this one. You would have thought I'd have read a zillion parenting books by now but I can barely keep up with my What to Expect book, let alone anything else. My whole parenting experience so far has been just a learn-as-you-go process and so I'm worried I'm going to be caught off guard or miss something important. Half the time I don't even realize what's generally next for babies until someone mentions it.

We tried to start Logan on the sippy cup this past week but he got really frustrated. Right now he's learning to grip it and put it in his mouth but he hasn't drank on his own from it yet.

He's also started hitting! Whenever Joe & I are carrying him and he wants something else, he puts his hand in a fist and bangs it (hard!) on our shoulders! Also he's still pulling hair and it occured to me that maybe THAT'S why women lose their hair after pregnancy (just kidding).

Lately he gets really upset when he drops something. You'd think someone had done something cruel to him by the way in a split second he'll go from being happy to screaming! So we're trying to teach him that it's not the end of the world, he can either pick the item back up or we'll give it back to him, haha. I can't wait until he has to learn to share :/

I forgot to mention when I went to my annual exam last month that I told my doctor I still have the numb spot! (I first explained what this was in my What's That Line? post.) She was surprised, because generally it's gone in women by now. Of course. :/ She said that sometimes when someone has a serious injury, an area may be a little numb forever. . .but typically being pregnant doesn't fall under that category. It's nothing bad, it's just an area of the body that will always feel weird now if something touches it. She still thinks mine will go away at some point, though. (UPDATE NOTE: It did during month 7 post partum!)