Giving Sleeping Plan A Try

This was originally written on Saturday, October 25, 2008:

In my last "update post," Six Months Old, I mentioned that we were going to try a form of The Ferber Method to get Logan to return to sleeping consistently through the night because, for the past month, he has woken up a couple of times each night for 5-10 minutes each.

Last night I finally felt "somewhat" motivated to try the new plan. But, I caved. The good news is, ever since My Son's Fifth Month post when he slept 10 hrs straight thru again, every night for the past two weeks he's slept 11 hrs, and even 12 hrs a couple of nights. . .but has just woken up in the middle. So, hopefully "month 5" was the only month where he only needed 6-8 hrs a night and sometimes no nap at all during the day! Since turning six months old, he's returned to his consistant schedule of taking a two hour nap during the morning and a 30 min. to an hour nap in the afternoon. I'm also having no problem getting him to relax himself and go to sleep without my help in his crib or pack n play. The bad news is, now he's started waking up THREE times a night.

Last night we put him to bed at 10 pm and at 1 am the first cry occured. Usually I don't waste a second--I immediately go in his room, nurse him for 5 minutes, and that's that. But this time I waited for 2-3 minutes before I went into his room. I had hoped maybe he would stop crying on his own before then and would go back to sleep--but he had obviously expected me to come in and so when I didn't, he got louder & louder (i.e. more awake). So, I tried the first tip: no picking up, just soothing (rubbing his back) to see if all he needed was a little comfort to go back to sleep. Nope, that just made him madder. He screamed louder and more aggressively. So, I turned on his music box and mobile. I don't even think he could hear it because he was so worked up. I tried singing "Twinkle, Twinkle" (the only song he likes) to him. Nothing. He was to the point of being so upset that no sound was coming out of him anymore--and I just couldn't bear that. I picked him up and tried bouncing and rocking him but he was still crying! He kept trying to eat my shirt (a sign that he wanted to nurse) and that's when I started thinking about how he really hadn't eaten that much yesterday and so what if he was truly hungry? It would be cruel to deny him. So I fed him 6 oz. of pumped breastmilk so I could be confident he was full so that if he cried again I wouldn't have to wonder about that. He was calm and content by the time he was finished, and when I put him back in his crib he fell right back to sleep.

An hour later (2 am) I was awakened again but not by his usual cry--rather his "I'm hurt" cry, so there was no waiting--I immediately ran into his room and, sure enough, his legs were caught in the crib bars. :-( He'd clearly tried to get them out because his body was at an abnormal angle! As I've mentioned here, the whole reason he started waking up in the night was after he learned how to roll over in his crib. Now all of the rolling and kicking has caused his legs to get scratched up and bleed!

I know this is the time many people put the bumper pads in the crib because supposedly babies at this stage know how not to smother. If I hadn't had those couple of scary incidences with Logan in his pack n play end of August/early September, I probably wouldn't even hesitate and would have already put them back in. But, I've seen him press his face up against the side of the pack n play while sleeping (which isn't as scary to me as the crib w/ bumper pads because the pack n play has holes through the material) so I'm assuming he'll do the same thing in his crib. With that said, I check on him constantly when he's napping in his pack n play and he does always end up moving his face whether he's sleeping face down or against the pack n play material. And, I know from experience that he lets me know immediately when he's uncomfortable. (Plus, we have the sensor monitor.)

So, I am going to put the bumper pads in the washing machine and take it day-by-day, depending on what my gut instinct is when it comes to putting them in his crib. Yesterday I put the pads in for 10 minutes for the very first time during his nap (because he kept slamming his feet against the wood) and I kept an eye on him to see if it looked like he'd be okay. At that time he was, so right now I'm leaning more towards using them just because even putting them on the outside or weaving them between the bars (both great suggestions for anyone else out there, reccomended by my friends Kendra & Shelby) doesn't prevent him these days from kicking his legs out and getting them stuck. Now that it's getting colder he can wear long pants which should prevent the scratching and bleeding (because until now he'd often worn his sleep sack to bed but the other night he broke it apart because he doesn't like the confinement anymore) but sleeping thru the night will continue to be impossible if he's waking up lodged in his crib bars!

But, for last night I kept the bumper pads out and so I carried him downstairs to the pack n play and placed him in there. Fortunately he went back to sleep immediately so I didn't have to do anything, I was able to go right back to sleep, too.

Until 4 am. He woke up crying again and so I decided tonight I'll see if I can do better because I'd lost my motivation at that time. I went downstairs, picked him up from the pack n play, brought him to his room, nursed five minutes, put him in his crib and he slept soundly until 9 this morning.

I realize now that when it comes to stuff like this, it's not just the kids that have to be ready--it's the parents, too! My grandma said babies learn pretty quickly how bad they have to cry before you're going to give in so the longer I wait the harder it will get. But my mom pointed out he's not at a manipulative age yet--he's not purposely trying to get by with anything. It's true, I don't feel my going in there is "spoiling" him yet--like I said last time, my only reason for trying this plan right now is for the future (hoping it will go easier/smoother if I get it changed at this point rather than wait until he's older). Joe's mom said that when he was young she got up with him every time when he cried and so he didn't sleep consistently until he was two years old! She said she remembers finally having to just put a glass of water on his nightstand so that he could get up on his own and rock on his rocking horse until he went back to bed!

So, although RIGHT NOW I would prefer to just keep getting up with him for 5 minutes compared to going through the stressful week or two that it's supposedly going to take (what if it takes longer for us?) of "progressive waiting" before Logan returns to sleeping thru the night--two years seems like a long time for this to go on otherwise! I think if I had more motivation, last night would have gone better. Joe prefers the way we've been doing it, too, because he never has to get up, but last night when Logan was crying continuously it woke him up, too, so that will be his next week or two as well. I'll try it again tonight (Logan went to bed easily at 10:30), but if I feel I'm forcing it then I'll probably wait before trying it again. (Because how can anyone be successful at anything if their heart isn't into it?) I'm really hoping that since Logan did it naturally on his own prior to five months old, as well as with his naps now, that soon he will do the same at night again. (As a baby, I did.)

(UPDATE NOTE: In future posts you will read that we have become supporters of attachment parenting rather than the ferber method because the ferber method is too similar to the cry-it-out method, which I wrote about the dangers of in my three posts: When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade, Preparing For Brachial Cleft Surgery, and My Son's Fifth Month. We never co-slept, but I continued to comfort my son. It took until month 9, but ever since then Logan has slept flawlessly with no interruptions throughout the night [he's almost 4 now, so it was permanent], so I am glad I didn't go against my instinct by pushing the ferber method because that would have been unnecessary stress for all of us, especially Logan. It can happen naturally, no matter what you might hear.)

Other news this week: Logan moved on to peas when eating solids--they turned out to be his least favorite food! I wish I'd had the video camera on because when we first put the spoon in his mouth he actually jumped back! His face was all contorted and he looked at us like what the heck was that?! It was like he was trying to tell us he didn't like it, because he was making all kinds of sounds we'd never heard from him before. So, I put most of it in the fridge the first night and then fed the rest to him last night. He seemed to be more used to it the second time because he finished the container, but he still wasn't quite as happy/excited as he was with all of the other food. He was the same way with green beans tonight--we could only feed him a few bites and then had to give him cereal for the rest of his meal.

I think my milk supply is starting to go down again, but so far it's not noticeable because of the solids. I think those are definitely more filling to him because I keep realizing at the end of each day that he hasn't been drinking as much milk as he always had before. I don't think he's getting the 32 oz that his pediatrician said he should be having with three meals. This past week it's been more like 24 oz. a day. (No more burning 1080 calories for me, haha.) But, I'm definitely not concerned--he's been perfectly content throughout the day (no fussy days) and, as you read in his Six Months Old post, he's still in the 90th percentile for his weight!

The day after his pediatrician's appt. he did something funny. I was in the kitchen at the sink and I turned around and burst out laughing because Logan had pulled himself up while he was lying in his pack n play so that his hands were gripping the side and his head was resting inbetween them! I gasped when I saw his face with a big grin staring at me! Of course since then he keeps trying to do it again--I can tell he thinks it's pretty funny to be able to see me from in there. But it made me realize that I definitely need to start child-proofing everything now.

Our pediatrician said this is when he's going to start being more mobile (it was today that Joe started crawling--as in one week after his six month birthday) so we're going to need to lower the pack n play bed so that he doesn't end up climbing/falling out! He still can't crawl yet, but he will if Joe gives him something to push his legs on, so I'm guessing he might next month. It makes me nervous that so much is going to be happening and changing this month, after I finally adjusted to him leaving the newborn phase now he's going on to another phase and I realize there's even more I need to know for this one. You would have thought I'd have read a zillion parenting books by now but I can barely keep up with my What to Expect book, let alone anything else. My whole parenting experience so far has been just a learn-as-you-go process and so I'm worried I'm going to be caught off guard or miss something important. Half the time I don't even realize what's generally next for babies until someone mentions it.

We tried to start Logan on the sippy cup this past week but he got really frustrated. Right now he's learning to grip it and put it in his mouth but he hasn't drank on his own from it yet.

He's also started hitting! Whenever Joe & I are carrying him and he wants something else, he puts his hand in a fist and bangs it (hard!) on our shoulders! Also he's still pulling hair and it occured to me that maybe THAT'S why women lose their hair after pregnancy (just kidding).

Lately he gets really upset when he drops something. You'd think someone had done something cruel to him by the way in a split second he'll go from being happy to screaming! So we're trying to teach him that it's not the end of the world, he can either pick the item back up or we'll give it back to him, haha. I can't wait until he has to learn to share :/

I forgot to mention when I went to my annual exam last month that I told my doctor I still have the numb spot! (I first explained what this was in my What's That Line? post.) She was surprised, because generally it's gone in women by now. Of course. :/ She said that sometimes when someone has a serious injury, an area may be a little numb forever. . .but typically being pregnant doesn't fall under that category. It's nothing bad, it's just an area of the body that will always feel weird now if something touches it. She still thinks mine will go away at some point, though. (UPDATE NOTE: It did during month 7 post partum!)

6 Months Old!

This was originally written on Tuesday, October 21, 2008:

Another good appointment for Logan! I still get nervous before his check-ups with the pediatrician after his first two months. But that's probably good--I'm sure the day I finally stop is the next day we find out bad news. :p

His weight came in at 20 lbs and 6 1/4 oz which kept him consistant in the 90th percentile. Both his head and height increased! His head went up from the 10th percentile to the 30th, as it measures 17 circumferance now, and his height which had always been in the 50th percentile is now in the 75th with 27 inches!

He received the same three shots that he had at his 2 and 4 month appointments (Hib, PC, or Rotavirus). We're still holding off on the DTaP, hep b, and polio for now. Also our pediatrician said it was fine to not give him the flu shot (which they usually do at this point) since he's not in daycare and still breastfeeding. (I explained why we're separating/delaying vaccinations on my post Four Months Old.)

So the only other part of the appointment was talking to our pediatrician about Logan's relapse in sleep (for the past month waking up 1-2 times a night for 5 minutes each when he had been sleeping up to 12 consecutive hours prior). He said that all babies go through this phase at around 9 months old, so it's actually good we get to nip it in the bud now because hopefully it won't be hard for us later on. He said that babies do start waking up again in the night (for no reason) when they figure out that if they cry you will come. So, as I explained in my Logan's Fifth Month post since Joe and I are not on board with the method of leaving him to cry it out, our doctor recommends soothing him and then increasing the waiting period from 5, 10, 20 minutes. . .until Logan remembers on his own that he can continuously sleep through the night. Here's what babycenter.com said about this (Ferber method):

Parents are instructed to pat and comfort their baby after each predetermined period of time, but not to pick up or feed their baby. This routine is called "progressive waiting."

After a few days to a week of gradually increasing the waiting time, the theory goes, most babies learn to fall asleep on their own.

This approach allows you to gradually limit the time you spend in your child's room while providing regular comfort and reassurance — as well as reassuring yourself that he's okay.

I've been aware I've been taking the easy way out for myself the past month. Getting up with Logan to nurse for only 5 minutes is easiest for me because that's all of the sleep I miss during the night: 5 minutes (or ten if he gets me up twice). Whereas, doing the above approach is going to mean standing around Logan's room, as well as walking and talking. . .which means I need to plan on having a bad, sleepless week! However, I know in the long run it will be better for all of us. Otherwise, if I don't do this, it's going to get worse before it gets better. Babies don't outgrow this naturally until they're two years old. I've seen enough horror stories on TV shows to know that's true and it does seem easier to train a six month old in a week rather than to continue this past month's pattern for two more years!

On the bright side, getting him to sleep on his own in his crib went way easier than I'd expected. Within five days of no more carseat, he acted as if he'd been putting himself to sleep in his crib all along! There are still times every now & then when it takes 15 minutes to get him to nap or go to bed for the night (where I have to nurse, put him down, nurse, put him down), but 95% of the time he does it on his own! I've been so impressed the past week-and-a-half! When he starts to rub his eyes and give a cranky cry, I put him on his back in his crib or pack n play, then he flips over (I've stopped flipping him back because it does no good--he'll be back on his tummy within seconds. Our pediatrician said babies past six months old aren't at high risk for SIDS, so chances are he'll be fine now), and so then I turn on his music box and rub his back for 90 seconds and he's sound asleep! It's so cute, sometimes he immediately puts his hand in his mouth when I put him down and says "a goo" like he knows it's sleeptime. So, teaching him to relax himself was not at all the hard task I thought it'd be. I hope I'm surprised with the middle-of-the-night stuff, too. :/

This past Saturday, though (his half birthday!) was our hardest time getting him to nap/sleep because he was cranky ALL DAY. It was not a good start to his sixth month. Since the last crying day (the teething/Tylenol/no nursing episode) was the last week of his fourth month, he went his entire fifth month without any fussy days. He was off & on that way on Sunday, and then on Monday & today acted like there'd never been a problem--he was super happy just sitting around doing nothing! We have no idea why he was so crabby over the weekend. He was pooping normally so he wasn't constipated, he wasn't showing any teething signs, and didn't seem sick (didn't have a temp or anything else).

Our pediatrician said he could have been going through a growth spurt and was hungry, as now we've come to the point when my breastmilk will not be enough to sustain him. We are to start feeding him three solids a day plus 32 oz. of breastmilk. By seven months old this should be an every day occurrance (since he turned five months old we've only been doing this 3-4 days a week). Logan has gone through cereal, carrots, squash, and sweet potatoes, so next is peas and beans, then we'll move on to fruit and meat. (Sweet potatoes are his fav so far, that's why we haven't done fruit yet because some babies never go back to veggies after that.)

The growth spurt makes sense since his pattern has been to have a couple of days like this one week each month. It would seem that once a month his body might require more from him than usual, and combined with teething discomforts it may put him in a bad mood. Hopefully we got this month's over with already.

Or, maybe he was just upset that ISU (where Joe & I went to college) lost to the Huskers, lol :p We went over to Lisa's that afternoon and ate good food and watched the game with half on each side. We weren't the happy side.

Otherwise, not much else has happened since my long post last Monday. My mom came Tues thru Thurs which helped me out, although it's still amazing that I can't get as much done with help with a baby as I could with no help before having a baby. Besides my massage, I went to JCPenney and bought myself a few fall/winter clothes, including a shirt for our family Christmas portrait that we're getting taken on November 7th.

Today after Logan's appt. Joe and I went to Younkers and bought Logan an outfit for the picture as well. Joe showed me a 6 month coat that was $130!!!! That's ridiculous.

To pick up where I left off in Logan's Fifth Month post, here are some random things. . .

It occured to me recently that I'm probably living the best time of my life! If I live to be 100 years old and I look back, I bet the time my children are young is what is going to be my favorite/most special. I never thought anything could trump college--but being a mom has! Fortunately I have 17 more years before Logan leaves home!

Nobody told me that once I started feeding Logan veggies, his poop was going to become them! The first time he pooped after carrots it was a dark orange! As if it wasn't gross before, Joe also says it stinks nowadays. The good news, as I said in Logan's Fifth Month post, is that he rarely has blow-outs anymore so it's been a long time since I've had to put a lap pad over my pants. He also hasn't spit up in about a month (he must know how to hold it down when he burps now) and has only peed once without a diaper since June.

A few weeks ago Joe & I rented Baby Mama which was hilarious. I remember I wanted to see it when it came out in theaters, but I looked at the release date and know why I didn't make it: April 25th (one week after Logan was born). My favorite part was when the woman was pushing--you know how in most movies when they give the "big push" there's a baby? Well this time she did that and the doctor shouted, "nothing!" I could so relate, haha!!! I did that "big push" for 4 hours and kept thinking, Are you kidding me? Still no baby?!

For some reason I'm really confident that's not going to be my experience next time. I don't know if it's because I'm just so much more educated now on how to prevent a face-up baby or what, but I have a strong/comforting feeling that my next labor is going to be fast again--only the pushing phase will be shorter than the dilation phase!

Maybe it's also because I've learned that studies show fast labor may be genetic--there appears to be a link between women and their mothers and grandmothers when it comes to labors only if they are fast. I definitely have a pattern in my family--as I've mentioned here before both my mom and her mom's were fast (except my grandma's firstborn because she had the pelvis issue, too). A cousin on my dad's side didn't tell me her total time, but said it was super fast, as well as her sister and her mom (my dad's sister). However, the same studies point out that complications (as well as interventions these days like the epidural, pitocin, c-sections, etc.) make it hard for this to be guaranteed--so if next time there's a different issue for me instead of having a posterior baby, then this won't apply. . .I guess we'll see in a few years!

I'm not planning on getting pregnant anytime soon (my ideal is when Logan is in pre-school so that I can have a couple of days a week where it's just the new baby & me--that sounds easier, plus that way baby #2 won't get jipped from this special time that Logan and I have right now)--but I do have to say it was sad when I left my doctor's after my annual exam last month knowing that I won't be back for another year. All of the nurses waved as I left and called out "goodbye, Andrea, have a great year!" After having a baby it seems like too important of a place in my life for me to not go back for so long. It's crazy to me since that was the last place I ever wanted to go prior to last year!!! But, I admit, there was some sadness. And, on Saturday at Lisa's I talked to a girl who happens to go to my same doctor (she's due in January) and I felt jealous that she gets to go back this week! Fortuantely, whenever I feel like this I just remember how much I hated being pregnant and how three years will come soon enough (when we plan to have baby #2)! It seems like after my next pregnancy it will make more sense if I'm sad since I will know it will definitely be my last time.

I don't have a gut feeling about how breastfeeding will go next time, yet. (By the way, this past month has been a record--the longest time my milk supply has remained up! It hasn't gone down since mid-September!) Lately I've been falling asleep while nursing Logan (since for the past couple of months I can lay down and nurse him). I never thought I'd ever be able to sleep while nursing. Although it's much more comfortable when I'm tired, it scares me because I've always made a point not to co-sleep because there have been several cases in Omaha recently where babies have smothered and I don't want to take any chances. Plus, I often slept with my mom when I was little and it was really hard when she married my stepdad when I was 8 years old to suddenly give that up. It was so traumatizing to me that I actually remember thinking that when I had kids I wasn't even going to let them know it was a possibility (kind of like the whole Santa Claus thing--I was so devastated to learn he wasn't real that I made the decision at the young age of 7 years old that I'm going to be honest with my children right from the start).

Ever since the incident with my neighbor and the pool (which I posted about on Logan's Fifth Month), I have been really wanting to take a CPR and heimlich class. All I know is from TV--which does not make me confident enough to save Logan's life. So I'm going to be looking into that.

Yesterday Logan fell into his farm set and it left a dent in his head! Fortunately it's gone now; my mom said I had a dent when I fell as a baby, too. I guess since their skulls are still soft it doesn't take much! Poor guy has already hit his head a few times. One day he was rolling so fast to the other end of the room that he made it to his bouncer before I had a chance to move it out of the way and his head dropped onto the ceramic bottom.

I had another scary experience in the pack n play, even though I don't let him play with blankets anymore (I wrote about my first scare with him on my post titled Returning to Normal (Is It A Good Thing?). He was kicking the sides and somehow got the pack n play material loose and it fell over his head! This wasn't long after the Labor Day experience and so I was more mad than sad this time, just because he had to feel that emotion again so soon after the last. It was apparent he remembered because, like, when his clothes get stuck on his head he over-reacts (screams like someone is murdering him)--he really, really, really doesn't like anything covering his face!

It's amazing how much more scared to die I am now that I have a baby. Honestly, I never feared death before, but I know that if I died, Logan wouldn't have a mom. . .and that's so sad!!!!

Until this past week, Logan's toes always curled under him when he stood. Our pediatrician said that's normal at this stage; this week he has been more flat-footed.

Speaking of feet, recently I noticed that I may have passed on a weird genetic trait to him! Until high school my feet peeled every winter. We never learned why (it doesn't fall under the category of typical skin problems like eczema, etc.), my mom took me to the doctor a few times throughout those 13 or 14 years, and no lotion helped. I just got used to having to peel the skin off the bottoms of my feet and throw it in the trash. Gross, I know. It never hurt, it never itched, it was never red--it was just an annoyance and then after puberty abruptly stopped! Well a month ago I noticed the TOPS of Logan's toes peeling! I think I inherited it from my dad (he said his hands peeled) so just like Joe's family with the brachial cleft, this must be a strange dominant trait. I forgot to mention it to our pediatrician today because it went away after about a week, but I know that if it's my same problem then it will return this winter.

As for me, did you know that after pregnancy your hair falls out?! I forgot that my stylist warned me of that last year--she'd told me that she had several bald spots after she had her son 4 years ago and she'd been embarrassed until she realized that all of her clients who had babies had the same thing. The last time I got my hair highlighted she said she wasn't going to touch up my roots because--and then she showed me--I have all of these spots where my hair is trying to grow back! (It's especially bad in my bang area.) I realize now that I have noticed a lot of hair in my combs and brushes over the past months. When Stacy (Jaxson's mom) was here on the 11th (she's a hair stylist, too) she mentioned that hers has been falling out and she heard it typically continues for another six months! I'm glad I'm not alone--it's just another hormonal thing. Here's what About.com says:

Postpartum moms are often shocked to find that a few months after giving birth, they start to lose their hair. You might run your fingers through your hair and big clumps come out at once or you may notice that your shower drain or hairbrush are filling up much faster than before. So why does this happen?

Normally, your hair is in a cycle of growing, resting and shedding. At any given time, you could be losing as many as 200 hairs per day. This is not a problem when you consider that there could be 100,000 or more hairs actively growing. When you are pregnant, however, estrogen prolongs growth and those 200 hairs you'd be losing are put into the growth phase and very little hair is resting or shedding. This is why so many women who are pregnant have that thick, gorgeous mane.

After giving birth, your estrogen levels start to return to normal and so you start losing hair again. All that "extra" hair that was growing goes into the resting phase for a few months and then suddenly you are shedding all those hairs.

So, it's not that you are losing more hair than normal, it means that you haven't been losing hair like this for a year, and when it comes on again, it feels like you might go bald if it doesn't stop soon. Don't fear, it will by the time your baby is a year old. If not, consult your doctor.

Needless to say, I'm getting (temporary) hair extensions on November 7th :p I figured the day of our family pic next month would be a good day to get them and put in by my stylist. Hopefully I'll like them.

Logan is fascinated when I do my hair and brush my teeth. In the beginning I thought getting ready in the mornings with a baby would be a chore, but it has turned out to be entertaining to him and so he does really well when I take a shower (we play peek-a-poo which he LOVES) and he just sits in his bumbo or on our bed and stares at me while I do everything else!

Something funny he has been doing the past several weeks is clearing his throat and fake coughing. Stacy's son, Jaxson, does the cough, too, so it must be that they're figuring out the different sounds they can make. It makes me laugh every time I walk into a room and he's sitting there clearing his throat over and over!

Also, he thinks the TV remote is a riot. Joe & I have no idea why, but whenever he sees it in our hand he starts laughing. So then we'll hold it up to him and he cracks up!

Recent milestones include reaching for me now, and he can sit himself halfway up when he's laying down (he does, like, an ab exercise, haha). Today at his doctor's appointment he kept doing that when the nurse was getting ready to give him his shots, which was funny. He also kept playing with the paper that was on the table--we couldn't distract him with a toy or anything, he was bound and determined to rip it all up! Fortunately he only cried for two seconds after the shots and then was all smiley and happy. So far, so good, and no reactions again.

Lately he's been playing with his tractors that his aunt Desiree (Joe's oldest sister) gave him and I was shocked the first time I gave them to him and he rolled them around like little boys do! It must be an instinctual thing, I never would have expected a six month old to know how to play with tractors!

Well, I'm ready to call it a night. . .so goodnight! P.S. I finally can't see "the line" anymore--the linea nigra was completely gone by six months post partum.