Stay At Home Moms (and dads) Rock

This was originally written on Tuesday, April 7, 2009:

Okay, three 4-hr days are too much for me!

[To bring anyone up to date: On March 24, 2009 I decided I was ready to get a babysitter for the first time for my 11 month old. He'd never been with "a stranger" for even a sec, but thankfully the sitter is AWESOME - she's had an at-home daycare for 26 years and raised 7 of her own children in a beautiful house just 5 minutes from my neighborhood. She was fine with my son only being there 8 hrs a week (two 4 hr days), which was just enough time for me to have a break to catch up on life outside of being a stay at home mom. His first 4 days went "better than average" but he still cried off & on. (You can read about those days in my posts, Logan's First Day and All Kinds Of Stuff and 11.5 Months Old and Adjusted.) In the last post, I said that this week & next Logan would go three half-days a week (so 12 hrs total) to see if he'd adjust quicker. He did! Both yesterday & today he never shed one tear or acted the least bit phased because I can tell he loves his sitter and the other kids & toys. Not only has it been great for him (and he's better behaved at home because he's not as bored), but also for me because now I have more energy. I've always loved being a stay at home mom (how could I not, my son is the best!!!), but I realized when he was ten months old that I could easily stop loving it if I didn't take some moments to myself. Even though he's easy-going, he's still a very active, constantly-wanting stimulation almost 12-month-old.]

In my post, 10.5 Months Old, when I wrote about how each mother should do what's best for them as far as how to be the best mother (whether that's work full-time, part-time, or stay at home - and sometimes there is no choice, such as for financial reasons), obviously what is best for any child is when a parent can be the best staying at home with them. This goes for stay at home dads as well because they are equally important! (I don't think it matters who is the one to do it, probably whatever works best financially.) Either parent who is healthy, stable, and secure will be a stronger influence helping their child to be that way if the parent is around the child more than anyone else. It does not make sense to think that if both parents spend more time at work than with their children that they are the biggest influence and that daycare isn't raising their children. That's why stay at home mom and dads rock! Yeay for raising our children!

Also, Logan needs me at this age & enjoys me, so taking two days in a row this week about killed me. Even after his great day yesterday, I sobbed worse this morning than I did the very first time I dropped him off (to be honest I never cried the other three days he went).

Maybe it's because I had a nightmare that woke me up this morning. . .for some reason I "had" to give Logan up for adoption. It was real quick, I just handed him over to another couple and then I was given another baby in his place. I was crying and saying, "I don't want another baby, I want MY baby! I want Logan! How can I possibly never see him again?!" (OMG, I'm tearing up right now) When I woke up I wanted to go into his room and hold him but I knew that would wake him up.

I'm so glad I don't HAVE to send him to daycare because, just like it didn't fit for me to not get a break at all each week, it definitely doesn't fit for me to take him any more than 8 hrs a week. I just didn't feel like I got to spend enough time with him yesterday, even though he was here from noon on! I missed my little guy!

Joe had to work 'til 7 pm last night and he said it was awful only getting to see Logan for an hour (since Logan goes to bed at 8). So we BOTH found out what our limit is!

Joe's a terrific guy but I remember that a couple of months before our wedding, it came up that I was going to be a stay at home mom. I'm sure we had discussed it before in our 3 yrs of dating but he must have thought I meant just when our child was a newborn or something. (I don't blame him; I wrote in my post, All Kinds Of Stuff how my life in high school and college was centered around becoming a TV news reporter/anchor - until my first real job in that profession, lol. That's okay, though, because there's no way to be successful in the news business and take a break to be a stay at home mom, so it was never meant to be!) Here's how our conversation went:

Me: "No, I'm going to be a stay at home mom until all of our children are in school."

At that time I was planning on having three kids, all 4 years apart. (Now we're planning to have just two kids, three years apart.)

Hubby: "That's thirteen years! No, you're going to make at least $30K a year."

I was shocked he would say that because neither of us are money-obsessed, there are far more important things in life and he's always been a very understanding, supportive, considerate, warm-hearted guy when it comes to everything else! Plus, his job was going to be able to afford me to stay at home. But obviously he'd had in his mind a different picture of "us" than I did.

I remember looking at him with my mouth open because I didn't know where this magical number was coming from. At the time I worked in TV. In my first job I was making less than $20K! So apparently I was going to have to switch professions?

I told him that I guess we should call off our wedding because this was a decision I'd felt strongly and passionate about since I was a little girl (because my mom was a single mother who had to work long hours to support us, so I was raised at babysitter's houses and daycare centers). I was very serious -- by then our wedding was pretty much planned, but I was willing to cancel over this issue because we were talking about "the rest of our lives."

It helped that we were at his mom's house at the time and she had been a stay at home mom with him until he was in school, then worked part-time until retirement. It was kind of like an "oh" moment because he considers his childhood to be perfect, ideal, so if his parents did it, then so could we.

We didn't have to cancel our wedding and he never batted his eye about this subject again. . .which is good considering I actually quit my job BEFORE I had any children so that I COULD change professions and become a writer (which was always the best fit and my #1 passion, anyway). Now he prefers it this way because I'm happier and a better wife than when I worked in TV and even radio (despite radio being A LOT better than TV).

Even though I altered my plans in March (since I had thought pre-school would be my first days away from my children), this is how I always fantasized my future family when I was a little girl. I wanted the convential All-American life: a cozy house in the suburbs with a white fence, two dogs, and kids that were tucked into bed with smiles on their faces because they were happy and loved and knew they were thought to be "the bomb" by parents who loved each other forever. (None of that I had.) Sure, plenty of women who aren't stay at home moms attain this, but I don't think I could have. So I will never take being a SAHM for granted!

Adjusted!

This was originally written on Monday, April 6, 2009:

I'm so thrilled. We decided to take Logan to Babysitter's this morning to see if three 4-hr days this week would help him adjust quicker. Also, as I said I was going to do in yesterday's post, I stayed over a half an hour this time with him. He never cried once today!!!! Yeay!!! Babysitter said he has definitely fully adjusted after only four days there!!!!!!! (The other four days with his babysitter he did really well but still cried off & on.) I was soooo relieved! He played on his own, as well as with the other kids, and was happy the whole time! We're going to do three 4-hr days next week, too, so that it's easier to pay for these two weeks (she charges by an 8-hr day). But now that he's adjusted we'll go back to just Tues & Thurs mornings for my break again after next week (so 8 hrs per week, except Apr 21st & 23rd when he's in Iowa, of course then he'll skip that week)!

It was spring break this week so the regular brothers (Matthew & Joshua) weren't there (and the other boy I've mentioned, Henry, doesn't come on Mondays) but instead there was one of the little girls who is going to be there this summer (Madeline). She is 6 and was so sweet, I talked to her in the morning and then when I came back while they were eating lunch she informed me that she played with him. :) The other three boys there today were ages 2 to 4 (Ryan, Jackson, and Ryder) and were running around, but she seemed "above" rambunctiousness, lol, so she was giving Logan hugs instead. :)

I went shopping and bought his first birthday gifts, but that was pretty much all I got accomplished, I can't believe how fast the time went. I also tried to buy myself some clothes, but it was too depressing since I've gained 12 lbs since I stopped breastfeeding the end of January (or 7 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight). I'm not eating that much or making bad food choices; I really think my metabolism turned down to zero when I stopped breastfeeding -- I could actually feel it slow down inside me! I'm only 3 lbs away from the most I ever weighed non-pregnant which was second semester of my freshman year of college. Needless to say, I know what I'm going to do this Tues & Thurs when Logan's at the babysitter's: exercise!

All Kinds Of Stuff

This was originally written on Saturday, March 28, 2009:

Okay I definitely recommend the babysitter thing for stay at home moms -- it was a very healthy move for me, which means it will be a healthy move for Logan as soon as he adjusts (more on that in a minute)! On Thursday while he was there I went grocery shopping, gave one of my dogs a bath, did 30 minutes of exercise, and finished a book I'd been reading FOREVER. In just those 4 hrs I did more for myself than I'd been doing during an entire week in 2009. Even though I was busy, I GAINED energy so that this week when I was with Logan all of the other hours and days, I was 100% having a blast with him.

That had not been happening lately. For the past couple of months I'd been staring at the clock a lot of days, counting the hours until Joe would get home from work. Don't get me wrong, the majority of the time I was having fun with my little guy (I can't help but every day verbally tell Logan how much fun he is), but two of the most important things I strive for in life are to 1) Be real 2) Be in the moment. Now I can like being real every moment again!

Those reasons are part of why I blog. Some people have a problem with bloggers like me who "tell it all," but I will never make apologies for being real. I want people to know "the real me." Those who have been my faithful readers, never missing a post (and reading every word), getting caught up when they get behind, posting comments or sending e-mails about topics I write about - you guys actually know me the best and so I appreciate you taking the time to do so. I learned that not everyone is comfortable with me putting everything "out there," back when Joe & I made a website after we got married (it had pictures and info for our family & friends). I was thrilled when I was able to post my geneology info after interviewing my great aunt the summer of '03. I had no idea what a fascinating story my mom's side of the family had! (I'll have to post it here sometime - her grandma was sent to the U.S. from Italy as steerage on a ship to live in a convent in New York because her mom married a man with two sons and didn't want her daughter to be around them!)

Flash forward two years later when my great aunt's son who I've only met once stumbled across my website in Texas and demanded I take it down. Apparently he called her (she is in her 90's so she doesn't understand the internet) and made it sound like I was bad-mouthing the family to millions of people. My great aunt called my grandma (her sister) crying, telling her I was ruining the family's name forever! My grandma called my mom who then called me wondering what in the world was going on.

To make a long story short, I had mentioned that their grandma (the one who had been sent to New York) had been married to an alcoholic. I also said that their father (my great grandfather) had been invited to be a part of the mafia and when he refused they fired shots through his house. My grandma said yes, this was all true, so there was no reason why I should take the page down. Her sister, however, was embarrassed by these things and was worried future generations would view her family in a negative light. I tried to explain that actually people nowadays would think the mafia thing was "cool" and that nobody would think anything of the alcoholic-thing. Doesn't everyone have an alcoholic in the family? But it was explained to me how back then nobody talked about flaws. Everyone must think they were perfect and "anything we consider to be worth of interest nowadays" was to be kept silent back then.

I wrote my great aunt an apology letter and made it so that the geneology page wouldn't show up in search engines or for those who weren't directly given the URL. I was taught in my journalism classes in college that I have the freedom to write what I want and if it's accurate and the intent is pure--not to hurt anyone--then I should stand up for my work and not let someone else censor me. I had never run into that problem before, but knew as a writer it probably would happen again -- and sure enough, I have with this blog twice (both by the same person). My intent has always been to tell MY story (not anyone else's) -- I don't want to offend anyone, but if I learn that I somehow have, I will make the decision based on the individual circumstance whether to delete something I write. But I won't ever do it because I feel pressured or talked into it.

In 2007 I took our family website offline just because I'd started blogging and was tired of updating it (so my mom's cousin would be glad to know), but I still have the info which I'm proud of (I sooooo admire the women in my family, especially my great-great grandmother who after her husband died due to his alcoholism she raised three kids by herself after the age of 29 and ran three businesses)! I am glad to have "the whole story" for my children and their children (since it is my family, too), thanks to my great aunt being the one to tell me everything nearly 6 years ago because she actually said the words, "You should make this into a book some day" (which I also hope to do, only I will expand it into a fiction novel -- her son can't get mad at that). Anyway, my point is nobody should ever be ashamed of the truth (good or bad), which is why I write about the good AND the bad about my life here. I prefer reading blogs that are honest rather than the ones that never share a problem and act as if everything is always perfect. . .that's just not real life. Older generations might not understand blogging, but I think it's great we have such a support system and community - I'm sure 100 years ago there were many moms who wished they didn't have to keep quiet about everything. I think we're healthier nowadays because of blogging and such!

Okay, back to what I was originally saying. . .I'm glad to be in the moment again with Logan, especially since I was right in my last post: "month 11" is going down as the best ever, so far. He's never been so fascinating to watch as he is right now!!! He actually problem solves now, is understanding cause & effect, consequences, etc. It is so entertaining to see him discover the world (I'd always heard people say that it's awesome to see the world through a child's eyes but never knew what it meant until now).

I love that he wants to put everything IN something. (He tries to fit whatever he can in whatever he can.)

I love that he sticks his tongue out when he's concentrating.

That he knows when I'm holding him by a door to reach down and try to turn the knob to open it, and then when I help him do so, he pushes it shut.

As of today he's taking 9 steps in a row by himself when he walks, although he still prefers crawling most of the day.

He's been consistantly giving me "high 5's" on command every time I ask, which is tons of fun.

I still am in awe that we made this human being and he lived inside of me for 36 weeks+1 day.

Last night I was getting sentimental. He's not even a year old yet and it makes me cry to think of him growing up because I've never been this close to a human being before and it doesn't seem like it's going to stay that way. It seems like "mama's boys" are a bad thing -- i.e. I don't want to be one of those mothers who doesn't want to let their son go when he gets older and then intereferes in his female relationships. But it seems like mothers & adult sons are just acquaintances otherwise. Getting along & checking in with each other, but not being best friends like girls and their moms can be once they're adults. I don't want to be just a casual family member with my son!

So, I went into his room while he was sleeping peacefully and just scooped him out of the crib and rocked him in the recliner, wanting to treasure this time because I never got to rock him in these 11 months and pretty soon he's not going to be a baby anymore! I always thought that was what all mothers did with their babies. Before Logan was born I pictured my baby wanting to be held all of the time, that he was going to need me to soothe him and comfort him. So when he never cried for these things because he was already content & happy, I figured I might as well not fix what wasn't broken; I didn't want to make him develop habits that weren't necessary and were going to be hard to break later. So I rarely held him if I wasn't nursing, and since he never needed me to calm him down or soothe him, nor did I rock him. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about the sleep I didn't miss or the energy I didn't drain, but no mom ever said at the end of their life that they wished they hadn't held their baby as much. There is a bonding and comfort for a mother during that time as well! Even though nowadays Logan can hug & kiss me in his own way, and I've always been very lovey-dovey-affectionate towards him (he's never been short on love), without nursing the past two months there is something I miss. So last night I thought what the heck, I'm going to be selfish and hold my son for absolutely no reason!

It was the sweetest of moments, I found myself wiping tears from the corners of my eyes, and then when I placed him back in his crib so that I could go to sleep an hour later, he woke up and started crying. Yes, my fault. So then I held him for another hour. . .but the same thing happened when I placed him in his crib again. Great, see, this is why they tell you not to do this. :p So I held him for another hour until, yep, same thing. At this point I was incredibly exhausted and feeling guilty because I figured he was wanting me/needing me all of a sudden to hold him for the first time because he'd had to be alone for the first time with a babysitter this past week. Not except during his first two weeks of life had I been up 'til 2 am with him! So I woke Joe up and asked if he could get a bottle to see if that would help. The same thing happened to Joe: Logan fell asleep in his arms but then when he put him in the crib Logan woke up and starting screaming. But Joe shut the door and by the time he got to our bedroom thankfully Logan had fallen asleep. It was 3 am. Needless to say I'm groggy today. . .it's too bad I'll be 46 when Logan goes to college, that's too old to have baby #2, haha.

But I don't regret holding him last night. Just like what I said earlier about no mother regretting at the end of her life that she held her child, when I'm 100 years old I'm not going to say "On the night of March 27th, 2009 I missed the most sleep I had with Logan since he was two weeks old because I went in his room to hold him -- that was a mistake because I was tired the next day." If anything I'll say, "I'm so glad that I took moments like March 27th to treasure holding him."

I can't think of a relationship more important or special than that with my son. It's always been hard for me when close relationships end or drift apart. But maybe we will define our own relationship. Maybe it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Hopefully we can always feel this close without him being a "mama's boy" or me being one of THOSE mothers, lol. :p

As for how he did on Thursday, Babysitter said it was definite improvement from Tuesday. This time I brought him over at 8:35 and told her Joe will bring him from now on his way to work at 8 and I will pick him up at noon. I could tell right away that he remembered and knew where we were & what was going on. He didn't take his eyes off me this time and when I said goodbye and started to go up the steps I heard a "cough" that he sometimes does before he starts crying. I said in my head, Please don't cry while I'm still here because then I'll cry! Fortunately, I didn't hear any other sound from him.

When I picked him up, it was better than last time because he gave me the biggest smile (rather than cried) when he saw me. Babysitter was walking around holding him so I could tell that he'd been crying again, but she said that it was only a few times. When I had left that morning the almost 4-year-old had asked, "Are you going to stay with Logan?" I answered, "No, I'm not." He said, "But he's going to cry!"

Stab.

Babysitter said that this time he ventured off by himself a couple of times -- crawling and exploring areas away from her, whereas last Tuesday he hadn't left her side. However, when she had to leave his side to get some paper towels during lunch, he got extremely upset. So he's definitely attaching to her, which is good. It made me feel nice that I saw her eyes tear up when she was talking about how they sang a song to him that she has taught all of her kids, "Mommy Comes Back."

When I had arrived there had been fun "kid music" playing in the background and the almost 4-year-old had said they'd been listening to Babysitter read a book. When I was talking to her and holding Logan, the almost 4-year-old was running around with another 4-year-old who comes over at noon from pre-school on Tues & Thurs, and Logan was sooooo intrigued, he didn't take his eyes off the boys running around. I do think that he's going to end up really liking & wanting to go there. Especially once the 9-month-old is at an age to play with him. Right now the 9-month-old reminds me of Logan at 6 months old, but hopefully when he comes back this fall (since he's not going to come over the summer) they will be more at a similar level.

Also hopefully when I take him back this Tuesday he won't have to start all over again. The only downside so far is that Babysitter told me she fed Logan spaghetti and oranges for lunch on Thursday. We've never fed Logan oranges because that is citrus which you aren't supposed to have until 12 months old because a lot of babies are intolerant. Well on Friday I was changing Logan's diaper and he had only the second diaper rash he's ever had in his life on the inside of his cheeks -- and a piece of orange was in diahhrea. :( He only took a half-an-hour nap that day (which was the hour before), which I thought was odd (he always does 1.5-3 hrs); that may have been why. I read those are common signs that he had a bad reaction, so citrus is going to be off limits to Logan for a couple of more months. At first I felt that pit in my stomach like, this is the kind of stuff I dreaded about him being under someone else's care. He's never had a food allergy before. But Joe was like, "Logan is going to be 12 months old in 2.5 weeks. He would have had that same reaction in a couple of weeks if we'd been the one to feed him oranges, which was bound to happen." I knew he was right and so I relaxed about it immediately. The main thing is that Logan was in an extremely good mood on both Tues & Thurs when he woke up from his naps those afternoons, so it does not appear that going to a babysitter's a total of 8 hrs per week is traumatizing to him.

Unfortunately, however, the bump on Logan's scar has grown. After I called the ENT on Tuesday, it went away again but then 24 hrs later it came back bigger. I forgot to pick up bacitracin ointment so we've been putting witch hazel on it a couple of times a day (a more natural remedy), but that hasn't helped. They had said that if it didn't go away within a week to call and make an appt so that they could look at it. So I'm calling first thing on Monday because the area is all red and swollen. :( Joe & I saw on the internet this means that the sutures inside have gotten infected. Great, the whole reason why we had the surgery was to avoid infection and now he's gotten an infection due to having scar tissue!!!! :(

On the bright side, the past couple of days he has been sleeping until 8 am again and hasn't had anymore nightmares, so hopefully the getting up at 6:30 am again was just Mon thru Thurs. I also figured out how to cut his fingernails at this age: just do one at a time quickly & randomly throughout the day!

The only other news from this week was that I had a massage yesterday for the first time since the end of January (it was nice not to have to worry about my breasts leaking or my wrists hurting from de quervain's for the first time, lol). AND, my first friend due to have a baby in April, Heather, had her little girl exactly one week before her due date, Wednesday, March 25th at 1:01 pm! Her labor was 14 hrs and Eden Elizabeth was 9 lbs and 21 inches long!!!! She had a snapped collar bone, but both she & mommy are doing well now and are home from the hospital with Daddy Nick! My other two friends are due in 1.5 and 2.5 weeks!

On a completely different subject, I changed the title of this blogsite because now that I have a babysitter I DO have time for a haircut, haha (and have one scheduled for April 10th when I plan to get my hair back to its original color rather than this current not-red-but-not-any-other-color; I don't plan to color it anymore until I go gray!) :)

To conclude today's post. . .I deleted my Facebook page last week. For those of you who don't know my story: I started off as a MySpace addict in October 2005. I'm not kidding when I say "addict," I was on ALL of the time. I was always signed in while I was working on my novel -- those days I was either fiction writing or on MySpace, that was pretty much my life. Sad, but true. Joe knew it was bad when we'd be laying in bed at night and I'd say, "I just thought of a change I need to make to my MySpace page!"

Seriously.

Everyone came to me for help with their pages because I was a pro. (The pic to the left is my dog Cosmo looking at the page I had in July '07.) I changed my layout depending on my mood, changed my song every day, updated the info, pictures, and videos constantly, and had everyone else's pages memorized (to the point where I actually knew where they were located on my pages so that if someone left I knew immediately who they were). I looked up everyone I had ever met as far back as pre-school and at least I did get a lot of enjoyment from it. It was my hobby, since back then I didn't scrapbook, and it was my socialization since I stopped working at the radio station during the spring of 2006 and would go a week or more without seeing anyone except Joe.

But, like all addictions, they run their course. After I took our family website down during the spring of 2007, I began to lose interest in MySpace that summer. I had begun blogging, scrapbooking, and finally came out of my cave to have a social life in Omaha (I lived here for 4 years before I hung out with anyone in Omaha other than my friend Melissa who moved away last year to Arizona). A lot of people began saying Facebook was better, so I signed up for that instead. But I found it boring compared to all of the stuff that you can do over at MySpace and a lot more confusing and ADDish. So, I only had a page for about 2 weeks and then re-joined MySpace. . .although I wasn't as "into" it as I'd been before. I hardly talked to anyone the second time around and so I deleted my page that summer (2008). Meanwhile, I was getting more requests to give Facebook another try so I did that fall. . .but still didn't like it, so I deleted my page again! I was glad that it kept all of my info, though -- it was nice not to have to start all over.

At this point I was confusing everyone because then I re-joined MySpace again. :/ But, in early 2009 I remembered why I'd quit and so I deleted my page once and for all. (I won't be coming back.) But then what did I do? I activated my Facebook page again! I stayed on for 2.5 months (the longest I ever had there) but although I enjoyed getting in touch with all of the people who hadn't been on MySpace, I found it to be a waste of time and still confusing and headache-provoking, so now I am off BOTH sites. (Although it is possible I may give Facebook one more try in the future.)

With that said, on January 29th I had an interesting experience worth mentioning. Here is the blog I started writing that night, but I got too tired and never finished it until now:

11:07 PM. . .Oh my gosh. Tonight I decided to look for people I might know on Facebook--and so I randomly thought of as many people from my past as I could. One of those names? We'll call him D. He was the guy I was an intern for during my first summer out of college.

I'd been soooo excited in November 2001 to have a job lined up for when I graduated from ISU in May 2002. One of my journalism teachers had recommended I interview with a woman who was hiring for an intern reporter & photographer position at a TV station Eastern Iowa. Little did I know until I got to the room that I was LAST of 60 applicants to be interviewed. Maybe it was this (the fact that I didn't think the odds were in my favor to get the job so there was no pressure) or that my teacher had told me about this that day (so there wasn't time for me to get nervous--I remember there was hardly enough time for me to throw on my "interview outfit"). . .but I did get the job!

It was in the same area where I'd lived for ten years (1988-1998) so I was familiar with the city and had a couple of friends close by. I was appreciative of my mom & stepdad apartment-hunting with me over my spring break and I found a perfect place with a pool and tennis courts (the picture to the left is me by my door; I was never able to use the pool & court, though, because I was so busy that summer). I was looking forward to beginning my career as a television reporter. I'd been preparing for this moment since I was 12 years old and had big dreams to be a national news anchor. The year prior I'd been chosen to intern at CNN's Chicago bureau as well as MSNBC in New York, but my parents had not been supportive (that's a whole different story) and so I hoped that my contacts would still be around once this internship was over since I'd have $ to move then. I was engaged to Joe, but he didn't have a job yet (he still had another semester at ISU because he was a double major), so believe it or not at that time he was going to go wherever I went!

But, New York or Chicago wasn't meant to be for us. Not only did I work 60 hrs each week and D made me come in as early as 5 AM some of the days (because "that's the life of a TV reporter, plus holidays & weekends, so get used to it"), but I spent every second with D, who I realized was the definition of the words: Egotistical and Jerk.

On my first day we were covering an election in Dubuque, IA and he told me that I was never going to make it as a reporter because I was "too nice." Funny how in the 10 years that I'd been preparing and centering my life around this profession, no one had ever told me you must be mean to be a reporter. He told me I could not follow rules if I wanted to succeed. Police might threaten to arrest me, but I must ignore them! I planned to prove him wrong. I had the ambition and the talent and 10 years of experience (lots of TV news in high school and college), so I was sure he'd change his mind.

Sad to say, I was the one who changed my mind. By the end of the summer I didn't know what to do with my life anymore. I wish I could say that I stayed strong and came out "showing him," but mid-way through the summer when I lost my grandfather I realized there were more important things in life and I really didn't care to impress D anymore. Until then I'd been putting 110% into every day, keeping a smile on my face, never letting him know when I felt like crying, working so hard and pushing myself that I became sick (I lost 22 lbs and had IBS for the only time in my life, here you can see how skinny I was. I didn't really recover or put the weight back on until a year later after I got married and moved to Omaha).Nor did I report him when he made advances towards me (he was married, by the way). After July 11th when my maternal grandpa died, it occured to me that the job wasn't worth me sacrificing my health, so I basically counted the days until my internship ended on August 31st. I was offered a full-time job by the news director at the TV station, but I turned it down.

My next job was at the most popular TV station in Iowa (Des Moines) and it was IDEAL compared to my internship. Instead of reporting I was a tape editor and was also in charge of playing all of the footage during the 5, 6, and 10:00 PM newscasts. This was a very difficult job, so I am proud of myself that I did so well and loved it, never messing up once. I received constant praise which helped me get my self-esteem back, and I loved my co-workers! I appreciated every second after my nightmare summer with D. They offered me a job as a producer (which is a better paying job than a reporter and would have allowed me to WRITE all of the scripts), but by then it was April and Joe had gotten his first job in Omaha, so since our wedding was April 26th, 2003 I left the world of TV forever when I moved with him (then I was a radio host for the next three years until April 2006, followed by a writer for the three years after that (which means the last three--obviously a better fit for what I wanted to do with my life). The TV station had a going-away party for me and I was on the 10:00 news that night which was fun. I'm still grateful that I had a positive experience to overshadow my negative one. . .but I will never forget the summer with D.Not only did he criticize everything I did and constantly put down my personality and other things personal to me, but early on he asked, "Are you a Christian?" I was surprised that he would ask me that but I answered, "Yes." He let me know that he was an athiest. Um, okay. . .what was he expecting? That I, a 22-year-old in my first job was going to get into a debate with my 27-year-old supervisor over religion? It was awkward. . .he would bring this subject up from time to time over the course of the summer because we had a lot of long drives in the newsvan. I support debaters, but God did not make me one -- it is not something I feel comfortable doing -- if you've noticed I refrain from talking about religion, politics, etc. here because I respect that everyone I know has different opinions and beliefs and that is all right with me. I'm a very spiritual person and value my close relationship with God, but I don't think I have all of the answers or that it's necessary for others to agree with what is in my heart.

D had a lot of hurt and anger towards his mother for being an alcoholic and unloving towards him when he was a child; he asked me "why" God would have her be his mother. Maybe I made a comment about free will, I'm not really sure. . .I know I told him situations that had been enough in my life to prove to me there was a God. . .but needless to say, over the years every now and then D would come to my mind and I'd feel sad for him. So I'd think about things maybe I could have said to help him have peace in this area. Since he was the one who always brought up the subject, I do think he was actually looking for someone to help change his mind (despite most people not wanting to be preached to, I think he really did -- but I didn't) so I wondered if I had failed in being a person who could have done so. I almost wonder if God was trying to use me because of what was about to happen in D's life.

Imagine the shivers that went down my spine when I saw him on Facebook and learned that not long after I left in 2002 his dad was diagnosed and then suddenly died of cancer, then just a month later his mom fell down the steps and died, and just a few months after that his wife's dad committed suicide for what appeared to be no reason. He felt the need to get out of Iowa and so the summer of 2003 he got a TV job in Portland, but his wife wanted to stay with the rest of her family in Iowa and so they divorced. Last year he left Portland for Ohio but doesn't like it and is now trying to get a job as a reporter in Chicago. He's been writing a book about his experiences. . .but I can't tell if he's changed for the better since I knew him. We exchanged "updates" and he said how great it was to hear from me, but he was one of those guys that half of what made him a jerk was that he would be nice to someone's face and then turn around and make fun of them. This happened to people we interviewed that had sad stories that brought tears to my eyes! So, after 3 messages back in January that was it and I don't plan to contact him again, but if he gets his book published I'll be interested in reading it. I do hope the best for him, NOBODY deserves to go through that kind of pain.

Well that ended up being a longer story that I'd planned (what else is new, lol) so I will bring this to a close now!

Logan's First Day

This was originally written on Tuesday, March 24, 2009:

Before I get into today. . .some things I forgot to mention in my last post:

Around 8 months old Logan started to be scared of the vacuum. Prior to then he could care less, but ever since then we've had to hold him in another room because otherwise he gets a horrified look on his face and screams! As soon as we pick him up he is fine; we've been showing him that the vacuum is a "friend." But he isn't comfortable on his own yet when the vacuum is on. When I was growing up my mom had an old-fashioned Kirby that was as loud as a train, so I think I was scared of it until junior high, lol.

Also during his 8th month he was crawling around our bedroom one day and I noticed him playing in a corner trying to fit behind our bed. When I walked over to him, he had a big grin on his face and was laughing and waving something in his right hand.

A wrapped condom.

I guess Logan isn't ready for a brother or sister yet.

Around 10 months old he began turning on & off the TV. For some reason this made him upset. At first I thought it was because he'd push the volume button so the television would get loud, but then he'd cry when he pushed the volume down, as well as turned the channels! I still don't really know why it bothered him, especially since he would look at me before he did it with a worried look on his face because he knew what was going to happen! Then he'd push the button and start crying! He's getting better about it now. . .it seemed to improve around the time we showed him how the light switches worked. In my last post I said that is one of his favorite things right now (seeing the lights turn on & off and being the one to do it)--but the first day he had the same reaction as with the TV, so maybe the idea of having power/being able to control things was a scary concept to him. Maybe until now he thought everything just IS.

Around 10.5 months old he discovered the concept of gravity. So now I can't give him toys when we're out to eat because he'll immediately drop them off his high chair. Whenever we give him anything right now, he throws it. :p

Also around that time he began biting & chewing his food so now we feel comfortable introducing all adult foods. (Last night he had spaghetti for the first time!)

He'll still be mainly eating baby food & formula for another month, but we're going to start replacing one of his bottles with a sippy cup this week to make the transition to no formula/bottles & no baby food next month easier. It's really fun to see him take bites of things and munch, rather than just stuff the whole thing in his mouth and suck or swallow. He's right on track to being able to eat regular-quanity of regular-sized pieces from next month on!

I'm looking forward to not having to hand-wash bottles anymore. I thought it was bad back when I pumped, but I was still breastfeeding a lot so I didn't have as many bottles as I do now (even though Logan eats less often). The sippy cup brands we use are Nuby, Born Free, and Nuk. Apparently those are supposed to be easier for them to transition & use (and are BPA free), although like I said before he's really not doing so well even though we gave him his first (a Gerber) back when he was 6 months old.

And, finally around 10.5 months old he began responding when I'd say, "Please give that to Mommy" when he picks up something that he shouldn't have. I've found this works better than just grabbing it out of his hand (which I used to do and then he'd scream). Now he actually smiles and hands it to me because he likes "communicating." Lately sometimes he'll giggle and try to get me to chase him (like a game), but I'm okay with that because I can secretly get the item out of his hand by distracting him.

Speaking of games, every now & then he'll try and put his pointer finger in my mouth and start laughing because he wants me to pretend to eat it. Silly guy. This works in the car when he's bored (if I'm sitting back there; last month I stopped sitting in the backseat when we're on short trips but I still do long trips) or he likes me singing "99 Bottles of Milk On The Wall," haha. He also likes "This Old Man," "10 Little Monkeys" and still "Twinkle, Twinkle." The songs that I made up for him back when he was a newborn that I still sing are, "I love Logan" (this always makes him smile, it was just a spontaneous make-up one day so it's nothing special, but it stuck. I use the "Are You Sleeping?" sound to say, "I love Logan, I love Logan, Yes I do, Yes I do, You're my little peanut, You're my little peanut, I love you, I love you.") and "Beautiful Baby" (same situation only it's my own rhythm; it goes "Beautiful baby you are my light, you are the one that I hold very tight. Beautiful baby you are my joy, I am so thankful for my little boy. Beautiful baby, I love you so, I am your mommy your daddy is Joe. Beautiful baby, Logan's your name, time for this song to end before it gets lame!")

It's too bad I had my "freak out" during Logan's "month 10" because it was on his list of good/easy months, but because of me being overwhelmed it's not one I'd freeze in time. Because during "month 10" I had my very first day of actually feeling frustrated with Logan, but I do have to give myself credit because that was better than what I would have thought prior to having a baby (yes, I seriously spent 10 months of staying 110% calm & easy-going/laidback with him no matter what the situation). Even though in August I had my very first moments of feeling stressed as a mother, and my second moments in November, I was able to get rejuvinated immediately. But in January I started to feel a little bit like that again--and was able to distract myself until Logan's surgery. . .however, then it all consumed me/overtook me and so it affected my parenting one day in February, causing me to say "shut up" to Logan which then made me feel awful--but that's what prompted me to get help because although I know it's not realistic to never get mad at him again, I obviously prefer feeling calm and easy-going and in control and able to handle everything in a healthy, happy way as I had been doing his first ten months and after that day since.

My counselor says I was putting unrealistic pressure on myself. She said it's okay to show Logan that I'm not a perfect mom. I don't have to behave "ideally" every second of every day, as long as I'm not abusive or anything (which I know myself enough to know that will never be the case). Even though here I have no trouble writing honestly and openly about every little feeling I have (those who read this blog definitely have an advantage over everyone else because this is the "real me"), I didn't realize that subconcsiously I was afraid that if I showed Logan that I felt worried, or nervous, or scared, or sad, or mad that I was going to ruin Logan's life. It was like I was trying out for "mom of the year" or something - but no one but him & I were around, and he's too young to remember or care right now!

Hopefully I haven't been coming across that I had an awful childhood, because despite the issues from my life which I've mentioned briefly in various posts on this blogsite, I did have love & happiness and do feel I turned out well. :p So, logically I know that Logan can do just fine even if I make mistake after mistake (which I will no matter what), so it's a matter of finding the balance again--i.e. he doesn't need to know every single emotion I feel, but it's okay if he knows his mom isn't always a carefree, happy, have-it-all-together person, lol.

But during his first six months that's really how I felt, and so I think I was also having a hard time adjusting (and accepting myself) to not feeling like that once he started crawling. The first half year of his life, pretty much every day I'd say to Joe, "This really isn't that hard! I think I've found my niche! I am so happy! Our dogs were harder than Logan!" I think part of me knew that wasn't going to last and so I wanted to make sure I said it alound so that I could remember what it was like to feel that way every day.

I think I'm the opposite of most women, though. When talking to others it seems like the average don't like the "prior to 6 months" phase as well as "6 months on." But as I said in my last post, I would have loved if Logan's months prior to #6 had lasted double or triple the amount of time--but even though #8 & #10 were without fussiness, and he's had so many milestones this second half year of his life, I haven't needed to slow down the past few months any.

However, I get the feeling that's changing. Now in "month 11" I'm starting to get sentimental and have a feeling I might not want to let this spring/summer go, anymore than last spring/summer!

When I picked Logan up on Saturday I missed him soooooo much! Joe & I don't feel the need for anymore weekend breaks! My parents will miss him -- they sure enjoyed seeing him 4 weeks in a row, 3 of those being at their house with him! Once again he did fantastic, although his scar developed a pimple(?) and it popped so then it was scabbed over. I was going to call the ENT yesterday but then it healed and looked back to normal--however, this morning I noticed it had a pimple again! So I called them and they said to put some bacitracin ointment on it and if it doesn't go away in a week (or if it gets bigger sooner) then they want to take a look.

On Sunday we met Amber & Josh for lunch at Red Robin. I hadn't seen Amber since my shower last March so it was fun to catch up with them! (She is who I went to a couple of writers group meetings with back in 2007 - according to my search box she was mentioned on my post, Pregnant and Sick; Joe worked with Josh in 2007 which was the first year he started working at his current place of employment).

On Monday I met Chris for lunch at The Summer Kitchen Cafe where I had the best tuna sandwich (melt) of my life. I'd never eaten there before but they had a great menu so I'll be back! (It was the second time Logan has been offered a kid's menu & crayons-the first was last week with Brooke-so that was cute even though we'll wait another month for that.) Chris returns to work this Thursday from maternity leave. She didn't bring her baby yesterday, so I still haven't met the little guy, but they are coming to Logan's 1st birthday in 3.5 weeks!

Chris was sad she had to stop breastfeeding. Her milk supply started decreasing a couple of weeks ago so she took all of the supplements out there, pumped constantly, worked with lactation consultants, etc. Unfortunately then her son stopped latching on, but the final straw was when her doctor told her she must go on medication for an issue she faced prior to being pregnant. (The medication is not healthy for breastfeeding.) I told her she should get a standing ovation for the 5 weeks she did it because I know first hand how incredibly difficult it can be and those 5 weeks count!!!!!

As for today (Tuesday). . .it was Logan's first day with a babysitter. I think I'm getting a taste of what it's going to be like to send my kids to kindergarten for the first time and to college! Yesterday I really considered canceling or at least postponing it another week, because I kept tearing up when I'd think about it, but when Joe asked "why?" I realized I couldn't come up with a single reason, aside from me just wanting to delay the inevitable--Logan being with a stranger for the first time. But he's probably going to do better at this age than a year from now and so on. Just like I said in my post, First Babysitter At 11 Months Old, I'm a firm believer in listening to your gut instinct, and my instinct has continued to say "do it."

We had a tornado yesterday but fortunately didn't have any damage (it was on the ground just miles from us, though, so we went down to our basement after the sirens went off and we got a phone call from the city)! Once the storm was over I went out and got diapers & wipes for the babysitter to keep at her place. I made Logan's little bag and then this morning he woke up at 6:30 because he had a nightmare :( He did that yesterday, too, so I'm glad it was BEFORE the daycare rather than after, however he hadn't had any nightmares/night terrors since January (all of the mornings & after his naps he wakes up laughing & babbling!) so I'm not sure what has prompted him to wake up early both mornings due to something spooking him. At least they haven't occured in the middle of the night. . .his brain must be going on to a new phase again!

I got up with Joe and took a shower, and then Joe left for work at 8 and I took Logan at 8:45 over to Babysitter's. I only stayed for about 5 minutes. . .I didn't want to make a scene about it, I figured me acting laidback would help Logan continue to be, rather than if I got all kissy/huggy & talkative. We just went over the basics and by then Logan had already found some toys to play with and wasn't even looking at me so I just snuck out.

Of course once I got into my car I started crying. It was Logan's first day in the world without me. I'd planned on going to the grocery store but decided to go home first to get some Kleenex :p So I cried for a bit, realized I hadn't eaten breakfast so I had some food, and then I went to my counselor appt. It was a good day to go, lol.

Afterwards it was 11:30 so I grabbed a free sub I had at Blimpie's and by the time I came home to eat it, talked to Joe, and called the ENT's office, it was time to pick Logan up! I can't believe how fast this day went despite me getting up 1.5 hrs earlier than usual.

I arrived to Babysitter's around 12:35. When I had come over that morning I'd heard the almost 4-year-old say, "Is that Logan?" He was really excited to have Logan join him & his brother (the only two on Tues & Thurs until June).

This time when I walked inside I didn't hear anything. . .when I came down the steps and around the corner I saw Babysitter in her chair with a blanket on her shoulder and Logan sleeping. I felt my heart drop a little because I knew that meant he'd been crying.

Sure enough, as soon as I said "hi," he opened his eyes and looked at me and started crying. :( So I started crying. :( I picked him up and he stopped immediately, thankfully.

I asked Babysitter how he did and she said it was very normal. He was fine until he realized I was gone. Even though he'd had about 14 oz. of milk between 6:30-8:30 as well as 1/4 of a stage 3 pears, he had 3 bottles while he was there (one at 9:30, 10:30, and noon, and also lunch at 11:30--adult carrots & peas which he ate all by himself)! He would play for awhile and have fun, but then if she had to leave his side for a second to change the other baby's diaper, or when she went into the kitchen to get lunch he would start crying. She said that is very typical behavior and I should not feel guilty. I guess the reason she had an opening was because she had a little boy for 3 years who just moved to CT and he was there for 12 hrs every day. She said that we remind her of the other little boy & his parents, although I think she thought I was a lot younger than I am because she asked my age and seemed very surprised when I said 29. (She had shown me a collage when we were there last Wed. of the kids over the years and so I saw the other boy & his parents.) Anyway, she said she can tell Logan is going to adjust quickly, and that the 4 hrs two days a week are going to go very fast for him once he gets used to it. She said that I deserve to have some time for myself.

I just wish he had been like at my parents house and not cried. . .there he could have cared less that I wasn't around for 48 hrs! As long as each time we go he improves. If not, then I will have a hard time feeling like I do deserve that time. :( But starting this Thursday Joe is going to take him at 8 and then I'll always pick him up at noon, so that might work better, too, because yesterday & today he wanted to take his nap earlier than the 1:00 he'd been doing lately (because he woke up earlier after the night). As soon as I put him in his carseat to go home, he was sound asleep and continued sleeping even as I took him out and put him in his crib. By the way, my car made a really bad sound the whole way home so I don't know what's wrong with it. Hopefully Joe will be able to figure it out when he gets home! But most of all I hope Logan will be back to his happy self when he wakes up from his nap.

UPDATE: How has Logan been since he woke up from his nap? I think this picture speaks for itself :)
We're on for Thursday!

It's Going To Work!

This was originally written on Thursday, March 12, 2009:

Guess what? I heard from all of the babysitters on our top ten list and only the very last one had an opening! That's right, nine babysitters had been crossed off, so I had started thinking that maybe the one day a week thing wasn't going to work (for those of you aren't caught up: I've decided that for me to continue to love being a stay at home mom with my awesome son, which I have very much enjoyed the past 10.5 months, I need to start making time for myself/doing something by myself one day a week because I haven't really given myself a break or had time away from Logan since he was born). Well, the final lady called me back! She watches 6 boys and 4 of them are part-time so she was fine with doing just one day a week. So we set up an interview today and Joe & I got a great vibe. Originally, I had hoped to meet with several at-home daycare providers in order to compare, but since she ended up being the only possibility I am comfortable going ahead with her. I plan to call her on Monday and let her know that we will be using her as our babysitter and will schedule our first day! :)

Ever since she called me back this past Tuesday I have felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Fridays are the only day all 6 of her kids are there, so my option is any day Mon thru Thursday. I've decided that I'll start with two half-days a week opposed to one full day. That will help Logan adjust easier, as both she and a friend of mine who works at a daycare center in Iowa said that in the beginning it's easier on kids who go every day, compared to those who only go one day a week, so it may be an adjustment for Logan. :( This way Logan can take his nap at home because ever since we had daylight savings he hasn't been going down until noon. (Although he's been sleeping from 8 pm to 8 am so I can't complain about not getting up at 6:30-7 anymore.) Joe will drop him off in the morning before work at 8 and then I can pick him up at noon. Once we both get comfortable then we can try for the full day since I'm not sure how productive I will be getting stuff done before noon. :p

Here were my notes:

First thing I saw: Nice house built in 2000.
Second thing I saw: Nice looking woman (tall, slender, blonde, very nice clothes, in her fifties)
Third thing I saw: Very clean, well-decorated house. . .
The basement is where the daycare is. At first I didn't know if it'd be big enough for Logan (since he now spends his day exploring our house rather than playing with toys in the family room), but there are a ton of new, different fun toys (as well as those that he can climb), and with other kids around I have a hard time imagining that he'll be bored. There was a small kitchen blocked off with a baby gate (as were the steps), a bathroom, and a walkout to the fenced backyard. In nice weather they will play outside (there was a swingset and some other toys).

The first thing I asked her is how long she's been doing this. Well first she had seven kids of her own -- yes, that's right, she is the mother of six boys and one daughter! Her oldest is 29, her youngest (the girl) is 18. Twenty-six years ago she opened her first at-home daycare in Omaha. She loves every minute and doesn't plan to stop anytime soon.

For Logan's age it is $35 for an 8-hr day, after 18 months is $30 and school-age is $25 (so if we did two 4-hr-days then I would pay her on the second day). That's a little more expensive than the other places, but obviously still not at all bad (a little over $4 an hour) and worth it since she has been in this business for longer than most of the other women because they are current stay-at-home moms. I like that her children are grown so she's going to give the kids equal attention and she won't be stressed out with her own kid-stuff, haha.

Her hours are 7:30 am to 5:00 pm. She currently has two full-time kids ages almost-4 and 9 months (they are brothers), and then 4 part-time kids: 2 that are two, 1 that is three, and 1 that is four (all boys). In the summer the two full-time kids won't come because their mom is a teacher so she will be at home, so they will be replaced by three girls: 1st grade, 2nd grade, and 4th grade. At first I was bummed to hear that Logan will end up being the youngest in a couple of months (hope he doesn't get picked on!) but then I decided that the girls might actually enjoy playing with him and might be best with him at this time since three-year-olds probably aren't "gentle." She said that the kids are well-behaved but they are boys. (This is where I need to remind myself not to be the mom with the baby in the bubble - have you seen that commercial? I crack up laughing every time I see it!

I made a list of questions before I went and I forgot to ask her how long she'd been watching each of the current children, but she did say that the part-timers vary their days and hours. There's another stay at home mom who just drops her little guy off so she can go workout, haha! It is such a relief to know I'm not the only one doing this!

It doesn't sound like she has a set schedule of activities for them. . .just breakfast at 8 am, lunch at 11:30 am, and snack at 3:30 pm. She has two pack n plays for naps and takes the waking kids to the other part of the basement to be as quiet as they can, but the nine-month-old only sleeps for 45 minutes. So I'm not expecting Logan to take a great nap there, but I don't plan to ever have him there for more than one full day a week, so at most there would just be one day a week that he doesn't get a good nap in. Maybe I'll even decide the two half-days are all I need to get stuff done and do that instead, so I can work around his nap schedule at home and then take him there before or afterwards. She said she had wanted to use the upstairs bedrooms for naps but as a licensed babysitter it is against the rules due to fire hazards.

She has everything except we supply personal items such as diapers, wipes, sun screen, and extra clothes. It is preferable to send a supply to be stored in her home rather than packing a daily bag. She will notify me when supplies are low. We are not to bring any toys from home.

Her contract says children must be up-to-date on immunizations but she said our situation is fine. We explained that the only vaccines we've been delaying are DTaP, polio, and Hep. But Logan will start getting the DTaP at his 12 month appt. in April. Since there are four doses, his last one will be done at 24 months (so he'll just be one year behind). Like all kids, he'll also have his final Hib and PC shots next month. He won't, however, have the MMR (so he'll be one year behind that one as well, but he'll get the only other dose like everyone else at the age of 6). We won't ever be doing the chickenpox (that is standard at 12 months nowadays, crazy). Since most kids don't get much done at their 15 or 18 month appts, that's when we'll start Logan's polio and hepatitus series. So by the time Logan turns two next year he will be completely caught up to the standard schedule/fully vaccinated.

She is a member of the Federal Food Program so she will meet their requirements of providing a nutritious breakfast, lunch, and afternoon snack. Menus will be available on the first morning of each week. After Logan turns a year old he will be participating in these meals--today it was muffins, applesauce, and milk for breakfast, chicken, wheat crackers, mashed potatoes, pears, and milk for lunch, grahm crackers and juice for the snack.

Infants will be fed on demand or as requested by the parents. A daily schedule of feedings will be given to parents at pick-up time.

She is certified in CPR and the Heimlich. For discipline she gives time-outs to the older kids and "re-directs" the younger kids. She does not smoke, she has one pet - a cat - but it is declawed and is hardly ever around.

When kids have separation anxiety she holds them and comforts them and helps them eat. (She said some kids refuse to eat but I really don't see that happening with Logan!!!)

I asked if there would ever be anyone else there. She said her daughter still lives at home but is moving to UNL in the fall. She sometimes helps out or subs if Babysitter is sick or has an appt, but we will be notified in advance if this is going to take place. Her husband also has subbed, we will be notified which person it will be. I said that since I am flexible I would prefer to have Logan at home those days, same thing for if any child is sick, however it is in her rules that children don't come if they have thrown up or have a fever over 101 degrees. She said her parents have been very good about this (two are nurses), and this time of year there are far less virus' so hopefully I won't notice a difference in Logan's health.

I asked if children are ever transported in a vehicle. She said yes, if they take a trip to the park or zoo but she will never do so without asking me permission/notifying me in advance.

I am free to drop in for a visit or stay with Logan for as long as I'd like to help him get comfortable.

She is closed the week between Christmas and New Year's Day, and also two weeks during the summer for vacation. There will be ample notice of these days. Also closed on Memorial Day, July 4th, Labor Day, Thanksgiving and the day after. Obviously that is fine with me!

Like I said before, it is such a relief to know I now have a place that I can take Logan at any time of any day - if I have an appt, if I want to go shopping, if I need to get something done around the house, or if I just need to rest. Just KNOWING this makes me feel better! Now I just have to hope Logan does as well at her place as he did with my parents last weekend. . .!