And More Tidbits

*This update continues from last Thurs, Fri, and yesterday (it will conclude tomorrow).I haven't written much about Cosmo since the cancer experience last November. Until recently, he seemed 100% the same as he always had during his four years of life. But, in early May I noticed that for a full week he was acting depressed or sick or tired and I remembered something that I didn't write here: When Cosmo had his surgery I felt like he was going to be cancer-free for six months and then it was going to come back. So I immediately feared that was the case, however the next week he was back to his happy, playful, energetic self. Just when I was about to write it off, he started doing crazy things - he chewed up a cord (he's never chewed any household items - even as a puppy, he never once chewed on anything except bones) and he was trying to get into the trash (same thing as the previous one - Bella was the one who has driven me crazy getting into the trash in the past), as well as some other weird behaviors. Thankfully it stopped, but he's been kind of somber since then so I will mention it to his vet at my dogs' yearly checkup that is usually this time of year.

I don't think we're going to be featured in the Petland documentary because I haven't heard from the production company since they interviewed me on the phone in January. I think that is a good thing, though - I got the feeling they were wanting the worst stories and thank God Cosmo isn't a worst story!!!!!On to other things. . .I realized recently that I have one of those kids. The toddler who most people probably can't understand but I understand every word he says, LOL. Mother's Day weekend when Joe's mom was here, I'd hear Logan talking to her and I'd shout interpretations from the other room of what he was saying! The same thing happens with Joe - Logan will tell him something and Joe has no clue what he's saying and I'm like, oh yeah that's his word for such-and-such. I mean, he does say a lot of words that everyone can understand so it's not like he has a speech problem - but he definitely likes to put his own spin on words and say them how he wants to because it's easier.

For the past several months Logan loves when I vacuum - in fact, as soon as I turn it off he says "more, please." If I tell him I'm done he says, "please?" again.

Last month when there was that Tylenol (and other children's medicine) recall, a new box we hadn't opened yet was on the list. We finally sent in our info this week to get reimbursed. I was glad we hadn't opened it because we'd had it for awhile, but since we don't give Tylenol unless it's extremely necessary, not even before shots like a lot of parents, there hadn't been a reason to open it.

Back in October I wrote a post titled About Nothing Really where I mentioned that Logan wanted to be read to before naps & bed for the very first time. It actually only lasted a couple of weeks and then he went back to his 30-second interest in books and no bedtime routine. However, the past month his interest in books has returned! He goes up to his room on his own during the day, grabs a stack of books, sits in the recliner and tells me to join him to read to him. :-) It's a great time - I put him on my lap and he often won't lose interest for 45 minutes! We still don't do a bedtime routine, but a few times he has asked for me to read him a book before bed and so I tell him "one book" and he's fine with that. The past week he has even been wanting me to rock him which is really sweet (he's always been very affectionate in his life and fine with being held, but he's always preferred putting himself to sleep). He still has his Scout as his music box-stuffed animal which he likes in his crib.I think he will really enjoy pre-school next year when he's three-and-a-half. I wish I could be one of those mothers who loves to teach/educate her kids in the meantime. . .but I'm not. I got a 4.0 in high school but I didn't care for school (aside from English classes) and the last profession I'd ever want to do is be a teacher. I have no interest in having anything to do with the school, but I suppose I will probably end up joining the PTO or whatever once my kids are enrolled so that I can be involved for their sake and know what's going on in their lives.

So, hopefully Logan isn't missing out on learning because of me or won't be behind when he does start preschool during the fall of 2011. Joe said his mom never did "teaching stuff" with him and it didn't matter - once he started school he tested genius level! But I will relax once Logan is going to preschool, knowing that he is going to start learning the things that I can't teach him before his brain slacks off and he finds school hard forever.In my post, Logan's Mom, I mentioned that it was funny how Logan has a gross factor. We still get a kick out of it because he even shivers!

In my post, Hello (when Logan was 17 months old), I wrote that Logan said Cosmo's name for the first time. Around January (20-21 months old) he began saying it (and Bella) regularly. Nowadays he even adds "good" or "bad" to their names, depending on the situation. :p

In that same post I said that I had decided to put off the cloth diaper idea with Logan because I liked Huggies Naturals - however around February (21-22 months old) I noticed I can't count on them anymore. I still use them, but only at home. In public Logan still does best with Huggies Little Movers and at night Huggies Overnites (one day I tried Pampers because I had a coupon and they were awful! I highly suggest Huggies Overnites if you have a boy who will otherwise wet the bed at night). I still hope to do cloth diapers with baby #2 but at this point with Logan I'm just hoping to transition back to pull-ups every day like we started in February - and then underwear! He has to be potty trained to attend pre-school so that gives us a year and three months (or if baby #2 is born before then - hopefully Logan will be done with diapers so I'll only have to worry about one child in diapers).

I'm still using the progesterone cream and it's still working! I started my period yesterday and had no clue because there weren't any signs! In I Love This Age, I said that so far I would do everything with Logan the exact same if I had to do it over again, so hopefully I can do everything the same with baby #2. Except - I might try another option with one area: Eating.

Meal times, snack times, etc. with Logan are incredibly exhausting. I once said that his temper tantrums almost always center around food. Actually, 99.5% of the temper tantrums in his life have had to do with food. It is the only area of his life where he is not easy-going, patient, etc. In fact, he's the opposite - he demands food immediately. It's life or death. I can't help but wonder if it's because I fed him immediately every time he cried as an infant. However, it's like that saying, what came first - the chicken or the egg? I fed him immediately because he already had the instincts to behave/cry that way when it came to food.

Since having Logan, I have been around a variety of babies and have watched all of them and how they relate to food. Not one have I seen respond to hunger the way Logan did as a baby. I take comfort with Stacy and Jaxson because Jaxson was "an easy and happy baby" whose cries were also always satisfied with milk. Therefore, he was a big eater as a baby and still eats as much as Logan (in fact, Jaxson has always been bigger in size) so he is the closest I have found. All babies cry when hungry - but there are some that can be quieted down, distracted, or just keep their range at the same level until food is available. Logan was the baby who screamed bloody murder from the first moment his mouth opened - and it actually got more intense the longer he had to wait. With his eyes closed, face red, and flailing arms and legs - there was no distracting or soothing. As a first time mom of course I did what I found to work: I stuck a nipple in his mouth! (Either nursing or a bottle of breastmilk, depending on whatever was more convenient).

I always hear parents talk about the days when the baby cries and he/she can't be stopped and I think, uh, um. . .I don't get it. Aside from maybe twice during Logan's first year, his cries lasted all of thirty seconds because milk always did the trick.

I recently heard someone who was talking about someone else with a negative tone - saying the person just nurses their baby whenever he/she cries, so it's nonstop! But I thought to myself, that's what I did!

And why not? There are a lot of experts who believe that "feeding on demand" is the best, most natural way to parent. The theory is, if you want to follow nature on how to have your healthiest baby, and have the best relationship with your child, then you are not supposed to follow a schedule - even if you just fed them and you don't think they need anymore, you feed them if they'll take it because they are born knowing what they need.

In fact, all of the nurses and doctors that I spoke with when Logan was born told me that a baby is not going to eat if they're not hungry (that doesn't happen until two years old). So I thought it was simple - offer that first and if Logan ever refused then I'd try another way to soothe him. Well guess what? It always worked. I've written many times that Logan was an easy baby and hardly ever cried. Well, that was why - and can you blame me? It was easier on both of us and made him the happiest baby you'll ever come across. Aside from a brief period when he was in the 90th percentile for weight, he's hovered around 40-50th percentile for over a year - so he's never been overweight or unhealthy.

Therefore, it actually was successful in the ways that "feeding on demand" is known for: he's been at his top health physically, as well as emotionally - we bonded great from the start because he learned to trust me and I learned how to "read" him which still makes life easier today. We learned how to communicate almost telepathically. . .we really "get" each other easily and are very in tune with each other. We work together very well as a team. He's thrived so well in life and is so well-rounded that I can't exactly look at it as mistake.

Had I not tried to offer him milk when he cried, I may not have met his needs which would have made him more frustrated because he couldn't connect with me and I would have been more frustrated not knowing what to do. Long, hard crying on a regular basis would have probably made him do that in all areas of his life (rather than he's always been a quiet, relaxed kid).

But, like with everything there is always a downside. Here he is two years old and (aside from a brief period last summer) he still wants to eat all day long. My pediatrician told me at his 18-month check-up that I need to toughen up because I still feed him every two hours as I have since birth - but that's because in his perfect world he'd be eating every ten minutes since he asks to eat that often! Not only is it tiresome for me to be constantly telling him "no, later, not yet" but as a woman who is not a cook, it is hard to keep up with having enough variety of healthy food.

I've tried making a schedule for him several times over this past year, because I agree that two years old is different from an infant - but because our environmental schedule is different every day it is hard to stick with it. I know it all lies with me/it's all in my hands because when he goes to Babysitter's two days a week he never asks her for food. They have the same meal times and snack times every day and he is at peace with it. But when he's with me sometimes we're at home, sometimes we're at a friend's house, sometimes we're at a public place, etc. Here are three examples. . .Scenario 1: If he sees someone else eating, he wants to eat - no matter if he just did. So, I usually give in. Scenario 2: If we're not going to be able to eat later, then I justify that he can eat earlier. But then that usually throws the whole day off so he ends up actually eating more often. Scenario 3: If he was busy or playing for longer than normal and has to eat later, then he wants more in that sitting, so sometimes I think he's done but ten minutes later he asks for food again. I tell myself that it counts as the same meal/snack time. . .except that it doesn't stop (it just continues every ten minutes).

Some days are easier, but generally it is just as exhausting as when I took More Milk plus and Fenugreek while pumping and nursing every other hour during his first nine months because my breastmilk couldn't keep up with him.

So my hope is that next time I get a baby that isn't as hungry, LOL. :p Because, as I've seen, they aren't all born starving like Logan. It starts at conception - some babies are designed in the womb to be bigger babies (unlike how inadequate calories leads to low birthweight babies, women who overeat do not necessarily have bigger babies - in fact many have low birthweight babies as well). At the pediatrician's office throughout that first year, babies are on a wide range of the scale. Since most parents feed their babies the amount that is healthy for their individual baby - meaning, most do not starve or overfeed - it is obvious there are simply big babies and small babies.

Logan was almost 8 lbs at almost a month early so he was not going to be 12 lbs at six months old like one baby I knew - he was 20 lbs! Just the same as Joe & I were big babies (he was ten pounds and I was 4 lbs at over two months early), as were my mom (almost ten pounds), and my half-brother on my dad's side (ten pounds), so Logan had it from all directions. Needless to say, Logan probably has a genetic code when it comes to food, but now that he is two years old, he can logically understand that he's not going to starve to death if he doesn't eat at the very second of his heart's desire. Food should not be used as comfort or the fix to boredom, pain, or other emotions. My fear is that we're setting him up to use food for the wrong reasons which then leads to obesity. Right now I can buy him healthy food and keep him active - but as he gets older I won't. If he hasn't learned by then, what is going to keep him from turning to it when he's an adult? I was hoping it would happen naturally after he turned one year old. . .but it didn't.

This is the only area of Logan's life that even Joe is actually taking charge with because even he feels Logan's bottomless pit could be a problem in the future (Logan has never said/shown that he is full).

So Joe & I are going to force ourselves to follow a scheduled meal plan and work on not feeding him so often even if it means temper tantrums. As for our next baby, I still don't agree with the cry it out method for infants, but don't think I'll be quite so desperate if they cry for more than 30 seconds, as long as I am holding them and knowing I'm there for them. And hopefully that will give them patience when it comes to their meals so that when they are two years old they won't expect to have a meal ready as soon as they are hungry. . .which is how Logan is - causing the cycle of me not being able to cook the best meals because he whines the whole time I'm at the stove.

Brooke said Kaelyn (who just turned 13 months) is the same way when she's at the stove - but they actually have always had a schedule because Brooke is the only person I know who nursed 100% of the time (no pumping and no formula) the entire first year! Not only that, but Kaelyn is just starting to eat adult food so it's not that she's crying because she wants to eat what her mom is fixing on the stove.

SIGH, so maybe it's partly still their age. . .and soon Logan will be as laid-back about food as he is with everything else in his life. :/