Finding Out We Were Having A Baby

I originally wrote this on Thursday, September 20, 2007 at seven weeks pregnant:

I'm PREGNANT!!!!! AHHHHH!!!! I still can't believe it! Each day it sinks in 1% more, but Joe & I are definitely not 100% there yet! Tomorrow we have our first ultrasound, so maybe it will hit me the rest of the way then. If the doctor says all is well then I'll announce the news to everyone tomorrow. :-)

We are so happy and excited! And surprised! We learned the news just five days after moving into our new house--I can't believe how perfect the timing!

We had actually planned to put "trying" on hold from August until January. Our first real try was May, but between Joe's new job, looking for a new house, buying the house, putting our old house up for sale, selling the house, and moving into our new house--we knew the odds were against us. We decided we might as well wait until our lives slowed down.

But then. . .on August 12th I went to a baby shower. :-) I was in total baby mode when I got into my car to leave. I decided I'd make a little stop to the store and buy just one more box of the ovulation predictor kit--and for the first time I didn't tell Joe, he-he! We were busy packing that week and so I kind of forgot about it (I wasn't anywhere near as excited to do it as I'd been the previous months).

I guess some things are just meant to be, because on Friday, August 17th, I had a hair appointment and then went to the grocery store. It seemed that there was a pregnant woman in every aisle--I'm not kidding! I felt like I was on some comedy show or something because everywhere I looked were pregnant women! I wondered if this was some sort of sign, haha. So, I took the test when I got home that day. It was my third time for finding out exactly when I ovulate (because I'm very irregular) and so the other two months I'd gone through two boxes each month. But this time it was positive on my very first test!

I was relieved I wouldn't have to be testing for the rest of the month, but I wouldn't say that I was hopeful of getting pregnant that weekend. Anyone who has tried to get pregnant for a few months knows that the excitement wears off fast. You get tired of getting your hopes up and you start assuming it's never going to happen. Even though I had been checked out by my doctor and assured that everything looked good (I even had surgery two years ago and she'd said I looked healthier inside than most), I was starting to think we'd have to do fertility treatments. We'd even planned on making an appt. for Joe which he was NOT looking forward to, so he's super glad that didn't end up happening (plus we saved $200)!

Yeah, yeah, I know most of you are thinking: OMG-this was your third real try?! Patience, Andrea! But honestly none of us know (until we have children) which group we're going to be in. Since I wasn't getting pregnant on the first try like some people, how could I not wonder if I was in the group that can't get pregnant at all? I had never been able to picture myself pregnant or having a baby and so I wondered if that was because it wasn't meant to be.

So, that weekend wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Joe & I went out to Godfather's Pizza on Friday night. The next day we packed (and Jake & Melissa brought over boxes for us). We also rented the movies Disturbia and Music & Lyrics. On Sunday Jake came over and we worked on touching up the paint on the outside of the house. At some point during the weekend Joe was like, "Wait a second, is this your ovulating time?" Haha, I teased him that I hadn't told him prior to see if it made a difference. . .hmm!

Other than a passing thought, I never believed I had gotten pregnant that week. The only day I considered it was on Thursday, August 23rd. (Now I'm convinced that was the day of implantation, since it occurs 5-10 days after conception.) The day before I had slept for twelve hours (even a lot for me, haha) and felt like I could have kept on sleeping the rest of the day! Melissa & I went out for lunch to Blimpies and I told her "I might be pregnant" because for the past couple of days I hadn't experienced my normal cramps prior to my period.

After lunch, Joe & I had the walk-through of our new house and at one point I started to feel like I was going to faint. Never in my life have I fainted, and so I had the strong sense that something weird (unlike ever before) was going on inside of my body. Joe told me later I kept saying "a-huh" to the guy speaking to us--that's because I had to work really hard to focus on what he was saying!

However, I brushed off all suspicion that evening when I had mild cramps! I thought, yep, I spoke too soon--I'm just having a lucky month (every now and then I will just have mild cramps rather than severe).

So, not for one second did I think again that I was pregnant. In fact, the previous months I'd "taken it easy" after ovulation "just in case." I'd tried to eat healthy, take my vitamins, not drink pop, and get plenty of rest. Joe and I had also analyzed every little sign as a possible pregnancy symptom. This month was the complete opposite! I was so sure I wasn't pregnant that I barely got any sleep over the next two weeks, overworked myself at packing (and unpacking--I even ran constantly with heavy boxes up and down our new steps), replaced meals with junkfood and coke, skipped three days of vitamins, and easily ignored any potential signs.

I guess it goes with that saying, "when you least expect it. . ." Because we couldn't have been more shocked. August was the most hectic month of the entire summer! Even when my period was late, I assumed it was just because of our move. If it hadn't been for the fact that I had my annual exam scheduled for Wednesday, September 5th, I probably wouldn't have even taken a pregnancy test when I did. Once again, it's funny this was the month it happened because the other months Joe & I would get so excited even before my period was scheduled to start that we would take an early pregnancy test. This month you could hardly drag me to do one!

When Monday (Labor Day), September 3rd came, I was just three days late but decided I better know whether I should cancel my doctor's appt. or not. I let the test sit out all day. I went grocery shopping that afternoon while Joe and his friend Nick installed our garage door opener. (And, I was still having cramps. I've since learned those are common during the first couple of months because the uterus isn't used to expanding so rapidly.) I should have picked up on the fact that in every aisle at the grocery store there seemed to be a mother with a baby! I am not exaggerating--never have I felt overwhelemd by pregnant women or babies so the two particular days these incidences happened were freaky!

That evening Joe & I took the dogs on a picnic, and then we ran into our neighbor (Jenn, who I had met on August 29th--the day we moved in--when she brought us to-die-for cookies to welcome us to the neighborhood)! After talking to her a bit we came inside and crashed on the couch. We started watching Dr. 90210 which we don't usually watch, but there was a woman who was going into labor. I told Joe I was glad I wasn't pregnant because it meant I'd get to wait that much longer before I had to experience one of the scariest moments of my life!

Joe asked me if I'd taken the test yet, to which I responded, "No, I know I'm not pregnant." He told me to take it anyway. I sighed and reluctantly went upstairs, assuming I'd be wasting yet another test. Instead, at approximately 9:40 pm, I experienced a life-changing moment which I will never forget!

In all of the months past, Joe & I would stand outside the door for the full two minutes and then look at the test together (but would only see one pink line). This time I was washing my hands and happened to quickly glance over at it, assuming it wouldn't be readable yet. I looked away so fast, unable to believe what I thought I'd seen. I didn't look back. I became stiff as a statue and went downstairs to where Joe was. My voice shook as I yelled, "Joe. . .JOE! You need to get your butt upstairs right now and help me look at this test!"

He gave me a look like, are you implying what I think you're implying?!

By now I was second guessing myself. Maybe I hadn't seen two pink lines. Or maybe I was getting confused and two lines wasn't pregnant. Or (LOL) maybe my body was mistaken--it just thought I was pregnant for some strange reason!

But, sure enough, Joe looked at the test and then raised his eyebrows at me. That was my confirmation. He looked nervous, but proud. :-) We hugged and then I started getting super hyper. I kept saying over and over, "Am I really pregnant?! No way! I can't be pregnant!" I ran all over the house and Joe was like, "You need to rest now, calm down!" Haha. I just couldn't believe it. I've always been one of the non-pregnant people in this world! How could I really ever be a mother?! I remember my own childhood like it was yesterday!

I called my doctor's office the next day to let them know that I had just found out I was pregnant (I thought they'd want me to cancel my appt., but they still wanted me to come in because they do an annual exam when you're pregnant, so they just decided to do mine earlier than most). My awesome doctor for the past four years confirmed I was indeed pregnant and did a couple of tests. One was to see if my hormone levels were where they were supposed to be if everything was progressing correctly at this stage--it was. The other was to see if I had low progesterone because my mom had four or five miscarriages due to that reason. The only reason she was able to have me--and I was over two months early--was because her doctor gave her progesterone supplements.

It turned out that I was a little low; they like the level to be 20 and mine was 16.9, so I was put on progesterone immediately which took away any concern I had of following my mom's pattern. Obviously I can still have a miscarriage, but it won't be for that reason which is apparently the #1 reason for all miscarriages. So I feel it was kind of a miracle that I had that appt. already scheduled (in all of the years past I've gone in May or June) because normally they don't allow you to come in until you're seven or eight weeks along--and most miscarriages happen before then.

Speaking of which, I had no idea the pregnancy calendar starts the first day of your last period, so when they talk about how far along pregnant women are, they are really starting with their last cycle. So even though I had conceived 2.5 weeks prior to my annual exam, they informed me that I was already at 4.5 weeks (done with my first month)! I think that's so weird! There's so much to learn!

My doctor set up my first ultrasound for Friday, September 21st (which means the fetus will be five weeks old, but it will be "week seven" of my pregnancy). I am really excited to see what's been growing inside of me for over the past month! It's insane to think that my body knows what to do on its own. It's been creating a human being!!! WOW!!!! Life is really miraculous, huh?!?!

The baby is due Mother's Day weekend [or on May 13th] 2008, isn't that sweet? :-) I'm happy I won't be pregnant during the summer. Ever since I was a little girl I haven't wanted a summer baby. Originally, it was because most of my friends have always had summer birthdays and they didn't like them because they were either older or younger than their classmates and they didn't get to participate in classroom birthday parties with treats and stuff. Once I became an adult the reason was more for my comfort level. I don't handle heat very well and have heard that pregnancy makes almost any woman severely uncomfortable and sensitive to heat. My ideal months to have children have always been between November and April, but May is fine. I still might be a little uncomfortable in the heat if I have "baby weight" on me, but maybe summer will motivate me to lose it faster because I won't be able to hide beneath winter clothing.

Anyway, we had already scheduled to go back to Iowa that weekend for Joe's mom's birthday (which is actually on September 11th), and so it was the perfect time to tell everyone the news! Sandi's been wanting us to have a baby for a while, so we figured it'd forever be one of her favorite birthday gifts :-) We had taken pictures of the positive pregnancy tests (Joe had wanted me to do another test the next morning even though I told him there were no false positives) and I found a frame for Joe's mom that said "Great Moms Are Promoted to Grandmas" and one for my mom that had Noah's Ark as the border.

We went to Joe's mom's house that Friday night (September 7th) where his sister from California was also visiting, so it was nice she could be involved as well. His mom was thrilled to be the first person to learn of the news. (On Sunday we also called Joe's other sister who lives in Colorado to share with her & her family.)

On Saturday afternoon (September 8th) we drove to my mom & stepdad's house and went out to lunch at an art gallery. It was hilarious--my mom opened the gift and she just kept talking about the frame: "oh how pretty," look at this look and that, etc. This went on for a good couple of minutes and I was thinking, what in the world? This isn't how I thought she'd react! Then all of a sudden she just stopped talking in mid-sentence and stared at the picture! She looked at me with a confused expression and I started laughing, which verified what she was thinking. She was totally surprised--it was priceless!

Apparently she hadn't paid much attention to the picture at first because she assumed it was whatever the frame company had put in as a standard photo. But then she thought that was a strange picture (her first impression was that it was spatulas!) and so when she looked closer she realized it wasn't an automatic photo nor was it of kitchen utensils! My mom and stepdad were happy--it will be their first grandchild since they have no other children besides me.

I told my dad & stepmom a little differently when Joe and I went over to their house that late afternoon/early evening to catch up and ride in their boat on their lake. I had a stack of photos I'd already planned to give to them and so I put the pregnancy tests at the end. I told them to look at the pics together, but my dad went to sit down after seeing just a couple, and told my stepmom to pass them to him when she was done. I was like, "No, Dad, why don't you look at them at the same time." Haha.

He said later that he thought something was up, but he didn't expect it to be pregnancy-related! He went back over to my stepmom and they went through the photos and then at the same time their faces broke into smiles and my stepmom laughed and said to my dad, "You know what this is, right?" So I knew they'd come to that picture! They were happy, too. :-)

At that time it didn't seem at all real to Joe & me. I hadn't had any side effects (in fact, I was feeling excellent) and so I was hoping I would be one of the lucky women who doesn't experience morning sickness and says pregnancy is the best time of their life and they've never felt better.

I've since discovered I'm not one of those women :p

We went back to Joe's mom's house on Sat. night, and on Sun. morning I woke up feeling dizzy. It was like the room was spinning from 8:30 am to 1:30 pm. I didn't feel sick, but it was uncomfortable and unlike anything I'd ever experienced for no reason.

I was fine by that afternoon, though, and so I told my brother the news, as well as my grandparents and a couple of friends.

I continued to be GREAT until Thursday, September 13th. At six weeks pregnant, I officially began to experience morning sickness and lack of energy. It's been a week since then and I haven't thrown up yet (so I'm hoping that means I won't), but that day was absolutely horrible. I was in bed all day, feeling incredibly nauseated. I actually woke up at 4:30 am because I was craving chicken (I guess that was my first craving). I'm not talking about being in the mood for chicken--I'm saying this was a life or death situation--I needed chicken! I kept thinking, this is ridiculous, go back to sleep. But I couldn't. Visions of chicken floated in my head. :p

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and went to the kitchen to see if we had any chicken. We did: a box of diced grilled chicken chunks! I also found hashbrowns and so I made myself an early breakfast.

Joe heard me moving around downstairs and thought maybe I was sick or that something was wrong. Instead, he found me standing over the stove cooking. He started laughing and was like, "What are you doing?" I told him I wanted some chicken. He's like, "Yep, you're pregnant."

Yeah. . .never in my life have I gotten up in the middle of the night to eat! But I enjoyed my chicken and hashbrowns and went back to bed about 6:30 am. I woke up for good at 8:30--and that's when I thought I was going to throw up. I tried to take a shower and go about my day, but realized that I simply couldn't. I'm not sure how to explain it, other than I just felt BAD.

Around 12:30 I was hungry again and decided to fix a cheese pasta in tomato sauce mixture over the stove. For those of you who don't already know, I don't have a sense of smell due to head injuries as a child. And yet, as I stirred the food, the spices went up my nose and the most powerful nausea overtook me. I ran to the bathroom, but thankfully it had passed once I left the kitchen. I told Joe it looks like he's going to have to do the cooking for a while.

I've since learned that smells are often worse for pregnant women than actually eating. That appears to be my case as well, since I haven't had any trouble with my stomach or eating (in fact, I've been starving and scared I'm eating too much too soon; I've already gained two pounds because I'm hungry non-stop), but instead it's like my head is making me sick. I'm nauseous because my head is nauseous, if that makes any sense. I tried to sit out on the deck to eat the lunch (by the time the food was ready, my appetite was gone) and get some fresh air, but I ended up just going back to bed until 4:30 pm.

Finally, I got up to get a drink of water and felt I could walk without feeling like I was going to throw up. So I went downstairs to check my e-mail. . .but less than five minutes later I felt sick again. I've since discovered I can't be at the computer for more than a few minutes because it makes everything worse. (I've been writing this blog with many breaks in between.)

Joe arrived home at 5:30 pm and I suggested we go for a walk--maybe that would help me feel better.

I have a new appreciation for women who go through with pregnancies even if they are unmarried and/or the baby is unplanned. I've always admired women who step up to the plate to raise their children even if it's not their ideal time, or go through the pregnancy but give their baby up for adoption, and knowing what I know now as far as how horrible you feel while pregnant it's an even bigger deal! Even I have a hard time being happy (focusing on the end result) when I'm feeling miserable. And here I have a wonderful husband, am able to stay at home in bed all day rather than go to an office, and have been taking my time getting ready for this moment. I'd be lying if I said the thought "is this worth it?" hasn't gone through my head. But then moments when I'm feeling well (such as now) I think about that little boy or girl that's going to be a combination of Joe & me and I get soooo giddy! I am actually glad I didn't get pregnant on my first try because I don't take this pregnancy for granted. I appreciate it even more--it seems so special and miraculous--and I can answer myself with certainty, "yes, it's worth it. I want to meet & know this soul!"

Anyway, at first I started to feel better on the walk last Thursday (we stopped by Jenn's and gave her back the container from her cookies), but on the way home felt bad again. Still, I was hungry for supper and so I had the rest of the chicken and hashbrowns. . .and then felt wonderful! Not just normal, but terrific from 6:30 pm on! I tried to be productive that evening because I was scared when I woke up on Friday that I would have a repeat of Thursday. Fortunately, I didn't but I lost ALL of my energy by 2 pm that day. For the rest of the afternoon/night I felt I'd been run over by a bus. I was sooo exhausted. I wasn't nauseous, but I didn't have energy to do anything.

This feeling remained the entire weekend. Since then I've been going to bed at 9:30 pm every night and sleeping until 8 am. That's when it started to hit me a little that I'm really pregnant. It was as if something else had taken over my body. . .yeah that's right! Everything I was feeling was so unique and unusual to anything I'd ever experienced before.

On Friday night Joe & I rented She's Having a Baby which was the perfect movie for us to watch. (It's an old 80's movie with Kevin Bacon.)

On Saturday ISU beat Iowa so that was a good day.

On Sunday morning my dad came over. . .and the Chicago Bears won--yeay!

Monday I felt lazy all day. . .and then Tuesday was a repeat of last Thursday: another all-day nausea that forced me to be in bed this time all of the way until Wednesday morning. :-( I felt better when I woke up and so I went to the grocery store for the first time since Labor Day--but not long after I came home I had a splitting headache that didn't go away until I went to sleep last night. I'd been taking naps every day for a couple of hours and don't know if it's because I skipped yesterday or what, but what I thought was going to be a better day didn't turn out to be.

Today I felt good, just really tired. I've discovered what's on all of the TV channels during the day. :p Nothing worth mentioning.

I've started reading books, but haven't begun to prepare for the baby yet--that's still too scary right now! When I had my annual exam, my doctor was like, "Now are you thinking, oh no there's no backing out now?" I was like, "Exactly!" It's crazy that this was our goal and yet now that it's here, it's like, OMG! What once seemed a slow process happened plenty fast! She said that's how the majority feels, even her (she has three little girls, the last two are twins)! But what if I'm not ready after all? I really haven't been around that many babies in my life, so I'm pretty clueless! (Same with Joe, although I have no doubt he'll be a wonderful father. That's half of why I'm having a kid, actually. We need more people like him in the world. Our child will be lucky to have him as their dad.)

I'm just taking it one day at a time. Or, really, one hour at a time. Each day is a new surprise. Tomorrow Joe is going to meet me at my doctor's office at 1:30 pm, so I'm praying the baby is healthy and that everything is going well!