Our First Ultrasound

This was originally written on Wednesday, September 26, 2007 at eight weeks pregnant:
Our ultrasound appointment on Friday went flawlessy!

I met Joe at my doctor's office at 1:30 pm and we were taken to a room with the ultrasound machine. The entire process took only 5-10 minutes. It was super easy and quick. (Although it wasn't the kind that they do during the second and third trimester where they put gel on your abdomen and look that way. . .this was. . .internal.)

I was bummed my doctor wasn't there, nor was my nurse--apparently that's only during the actual prenatal appointment which I thought I was going to have that day, too, but the receptionist misunderstood and only scheduled me for the ultrasound. So I have to go back on October 8th to have my hour long appointment with the nurse.

The ultrasound technician doesn't anticipate a miscarriage for me because usually when that happens there are signs ahead of time. Not only have I not had any spotting (which can be normal, too), the heartbeat was powerful and the spine & organs were a healthy size, everything was in the right place, etc. She put my due date at May 13, 2008 (the day after Mother's Day). Aside from what I wrote in my last blog, that is also good for getting the baby "out and about" when the weather is nice, rather than cooped up all winter.

It was absolutely amazing to see the baby's heartbeat. There are no words to describe how special and miraculous that moment was. I never could have imagined how it would feel before I was pregnant--I'm not sure anything can top it. It was a hugely important piece of time in Joe & my life that we will never forget. We made a human being together!

Until that day, the experience hadn't seemed real. It had been hard to get my mind around the fact that a baby was growing inside of me. That pretty soon my belly will start protuding and then a baby will come out to join Joe & my life! But then I saw it on the monitor--alive and moving! Tears poured down my face. It was for real! This person will be a part of history. A new part of our family tree. All because of Joe & me. Love poured out of me for this tiny little thing that fluttered on the screen. Love already for my little boy or girl.

Joe was so quiet, I couldn't tell what he was thinking--but it definitely hit him that day as well. Until then we both logically knew it was real, but emotionally it hadn't sunk in. Now I can tell he's been bit by the love bug, too :-)

After the appointment, I wanted to celebrate, but I was still feeling like I had been run over by a bus, so it was another lazy Friday night. I had thought I might throw up that morning--and I'd even stood over the toilet for a while because I felt sooooo nauseated--but the feeling passed. The rest of the day I was running on adrenaline after getting to take home a picture of the ultrasound. Joe and I rented Mr. Mom and then I finally crashed.

Saturday was my third day for being in bed all day. I figured I had probably pushed myself too hard on Friday, but I had missed being a part of the land of the living!!! I've continued to take 1-2 hr naps every day which are nice because I am not sick when I'm asleep. (I go to bed between 9-10 every night and usually sleep until 8-9:30 am.) I've tried to go for a few walks with Joe around our new neighborhood in the evenings, but I usually end up feeling worse afterwards, so I get my fresh air by sitting out on the deck about a half an hour each day and do the only reading I can.

I do look forward to when I can get some exercise again, though. Two of the days I did a pilates video, but I (shock) miss being able to do my aerobics videos. However, my body is obviously using all of its energy right now for the baby, so I don't want to force myself to do anything it doesn't want to and jeopardize the baby. I'm following all of the rules of my books, as far as what to eat, what not to eat, what vitamins to take, etc.--and the main words of wisdom: listen to your body. Mine is saying: become a zombie. :p

It helps me to think about how at least I'm getting time to myself to be able to just be in bed all day, even if I'm not exactly lying in a hammock drinking lemonade, because once I have a baby I'll probably wish I could have a day all to myself!

Unfortunately, though, it's not a "rejuvinating" feeling. Like, when you're sick with a virus, you have a day in bed and then you feel better. With this, it's on-going. The next day could be worse than the day before. Despite taking it incredibly easy the past two weeks, I actually feel less rested and more run down than I did two weeks ago. It's worse than any flu I've ever had. It reminds me more of mono, which I had my sophomore year of college. That bedrest lasted two weeks. But I'm afraid this all-day-sickness thing isn't over yet.

Sunday & Monday I was able to actually do the laundry and dishes, and I had some hours where I felt excellent. Those moments are almost euphoric because it occurs after I've been feeling really bad. But then another bad day usually follows--such as what happened on Tuesday. Let's just say I can no longer say that I didn't throw up.

It actually surprised me because I am not a thrower-upper. It's just not something I've done a whole lot in my life; I'm not usually affected that way. But, I woke up with Joe at 6 am and a couple of hours later I was standing over the toilet. I'm now keeping crackers by my bed because if I'm going to throw up again there better be something in my stomach because that freaking hurt! My chest was in so much pain and I even strained my jaw/ear area so that was in pain all day, too!

So I was miserable yesterday--it was my 4th time for being bedridden all day--and it was the worst day so far. I just keep having to picture that little heart beating on the ultrasound last Friday to get me through it. I know it is a good sign that my body is reacting to the changes and growth of the baby (studies show that women with morning sickness generally have healthier babies), but I feel like all I'm doing every day is counting down the days until my second trimester when this will hopefully end. I wish that I could wake up every day and enjoy this time! I pray I will soon.

There are some women who throw up non-stop all day for 9 months and have to be on medication and hospitalized, so at least I'm still keeping food down--although I'm getting sick of crackers because that has taken over my diet.

I never realized that not only is it good to plan when to have a baby, it's good to plan when to be pregnant. You have to be able to afford being sick! At least this isn't a super busy time of the year. I should be better by the holidays and able to participate. Hopefully I can make up for these months during those months. There's so much I want to do to prepare!!!

Today wasn't much better than yesterday. I was in bed all of the day again, but got online mid-afternoon to e-mail. In the middle of a message I had to run to the bathroom to throw up for my second time. So the computer is still out for me. (This is another blog I've been writing with many breaks inbetween.) I'm taking ginger pills, drinking liquids not with meals, and taking my prenatal vitamins with meals (all recommended to help with morning sickness), but I can't tell if they're making a difference or not.

Fortunately, I haven't had a problem with cooking (or smells) since my first day of morning sickness a couple of weeks ago. Nor have I had any more intense cravings, aside from peppers one day (I found a frozen supreme pizza that did the trick). The problem also is no longer my head--I don't know when it officially moved to my stomach but that's 100% where it is now.

Anyway, I'll blog again next chance I get--as in, next time I have some energy and can move around without feeling nauseous. . .:/