8 Months Old!

This was originally written on Sunday, December 21, 2008:

I turned 29 at 2:15 this afternoon! That is crazy to me, I don't feel like I'm going to be 30 next year. THIRTY. What the heck?! I'm glad I have a year to prepare. I've never really cared about my birthdays as far as what my age was. I've never felt old or young, but rather the age I should be, probably because my birthday falls in the middle of the year so I always had plenty of people ahead of me and plenty of people behind me. Also, having a birthday around Christmas means you tend to celebrate Christmas more than your birthday, so I was always at home with my parents for Christmas break--usually traveling! This year Joe & I didn't do much, either, except go out to eat to Roja Mexican Restaurant. Joe also picked up a DQ cake for me (that's kind of become our tradition) and he gave me an exceptionally nice card and a CD, book, and sentimental Christmas ornament. :)

Of course he wasn't able to eat the cake or much for supper (he had tortillas with grilled chicken--the first meat he'd had all week) and it was the first time we've ever been out to eat when Logan was a handful (you should have seen us--silverware was flying, food was falling off the table, the check tray landed on the floor, we were up and down several times, we passed Logan across the table. . .it's a good thing the place was loud and set up really well for having a baby, despite it being a classy restuarant)! At least it was a better day than last year (no emergency room visits)!

Next year is going to make me feel old, though, so I want to do something super fun that day for the first birthday in my life. Joe's thirtieth will be in July so I'm already trying to come up with ideas for him. . .

This birthday evening, though, I'm sharing it with you! Finally a chance to reflect on the past month!

The last time I posted an update was Nov. 25th so I'll start from there. That night Joe's mom came over with a van she had rented and we left the next morning for our Thanksgiving in Colorado Springs.

Logan did really well on the ride out. It was beautiful weather that day and I even nursed in public for the very first time (with a wrap) at Subway! (It only took me over 7 months, lol.) Until then I'd never felt brave enough (Logan has been known for being active while nursing so I was always too worried my wrap would fly off and hit someone in the face with my boob exposed for all to see), but now I finally feel confident that I won't flash everyone.

We stopped every couple of hours to let Logan stretch his legs (lol) and I would also nurse during those times in our van. I really thought that trip was going to be my last days breastfeeding, though. I didn't even try to nurse at all anymore once we got to Colorado, so I don't understand how my milk didn't dry up. 1) I was in pain pretty much the whole trip (aside from the sores & bleeding from the previous week, I think the drier air also contributed) 2) I only pumped once on the trip and 3) when we arrived to Joe's sister's house Logan was too excited to eat. We couldn't get him to eat solids (it took him from Wed to Sat to eat one container of stage two food. He only nursed three times in those 4 days. I'd brought our formula sample from when he had jaundice as a newborn and so he did have one 8 oz bottle each day--but that was it, so I'm amazed he didn't lose weight!

I think he was just having so much fun with the new environment, the new toys, the new people, and the other babies, that he was wound up and wouldn't relax. He skipped all naps and woke up every couple of hours each night (only averaging about 8 hrs of sleep each day). Joe and I were wiped out to say the least. We'd forgotten what it was like getting up four times a night. . .we don't have the same stamina as we did during Logan's first month of life. . .we're definitely not ready for baby #2 yet!

Still, it was fun and I enjoyed chatting with the other two "new moms" (Joe's nephew's wives). The one with the 5.5 month old was still nursing, but the one with the 9.5 month old had stopped at 8 months. She said it was hard to say goodbye but she was glad to have her body back. I am definitely looking forward to that! My cousin-in-law suggested buying a really nice bra afterwards--I think that's a great idea. When the time comes, I'm definitely going to celebrate. . .it's been a year-and-a-half since I haven't been sharing my body with Logan!

Since I haven't had any sores or bleeding since Thanksgiving, Logan returned to nursing regularly when we came back from Colorado and must be getting enough milk because we haven't had to give him anymore formula (although we've used a few bags of breastmilk from our freezer).

I can count on just one hand how many times I've pumped since we returned from Colorado three weeks ago, so I'd planned on putting my pump away after that trip but decided to wait until we're done traveling for Christmas. I've pretty much been hooked to that thing since we bought it! It's had mold in it, shot my milk my wrong way (through where the air comes), and the motor almost died--but we've cleaned it and fixed it, and so my trusty ol' Medela Pump In Style Advanced will be around for baby #2. . .although I really hope not to use it very often with him/her. I'm not sure I will know how NOT to, though. I got so used to pumping a bottle before we went anywhere with Logan that I never had to go through the typical breastfeeding issues of nursing in a non-breastfeeding friendly enviroment. But, I did it at Subway and was comfortable, so maybe my rollercoaster with Logan has prepared me enough "mentally" to do it anywhere with baby #2.

As for Logan's sleeping, I think he would have returned to sleeping straight thru the night every single night during his seventh month, but due to all of our traveling, that didn't happen. He had more nights when he slept 8 hrs w/ no interruptions compared to months 5 & 6 (and I can count on one hand since he was two weeks old how many times he's been up for longer than 5 minutes), but lately every single night he's been wanting to nurse twice (rather than months 3 & 4 he didn't get up at all).

I think there is definite pressure for parents nowadays to have babies sleep consistantly thru the night, every single night, which I've discovered isn't natural for most babies! According to About.com:

You have probably heard that babies should start "sleeping through the night" at about 2 to 4 months of age. What you must understand is that, for a new baby, a five-hour stretch is a full night. Many (but nowhere near all) babies at this age can sleep uninterrupted from midnight to 5 a.m. (Not that they always do.) A far cry from what you may have thought "sleeping through the night" meant!

What's more, while the scientific definition of "sleeping through the night" is five hours, most of us wouldn't consider that anywhere near a full night's sleep for ourselves. Also, some of these sleep-through-the-nighters will suddenly begin waking more frequently, and it's often a full year or even two until your little one will settle into a mature, all-night, every night sleep pattern.

So I was actually lucky that Logan slept 8-12 hrs uniterrupted during months 3 & 4, but I had no idea it was not practical to think that was going to last for the rest of his life. There is a lot of false information out there! I can't even tell you how many people acted like Logan was late for sleeping 8 hrs straight through every night at 3 months old--or when he did 12 hrs every night at 4 months old! The above article started off by saying, "The danger to a new parent is that these tidbits of misguided advice (no matter how well-intentioned) can truly have a negative effect on our parenting skills and, by extension, our babies' development -- if we are not aware of the facts. The more knowledge you have the less likely that other people will make you doubt your parenting decisions."

I wish I would have done more research in the beginning rather than listen to the people who acted like something was wrong with Logan when he began waking up again during his fifth month. It made me feel like my son was bad or something, when I've come to learn he's actually a better sleeper than the average! We hardly ever have to do anything to get him to sleep (he wants to go right to sleep when we put him in his crib) and 90 seconds is the average for how long he is up when he does wake up in the night. I'm not impressed with people who tell me their kids started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old because they let them "cry it out." To me, that's like someone beating their kids and saying, "My kids don't misbehave!" (To read my posts on the dangers of the cry it out method click here and here.)

As I've also mentioned in the past, Logan almost always has a reason for getting me up. Lately he started kicking his legs through the crib again -- and now banging his head against the crib (he's an active sleeper). I was going to buy the breathable bumper pads I mentioned in my post, Baby's First Teeth, except they won't offer a cushion for his head banging. At this time he can't stand up on the regular ones or climb out/fall out of his crib (although, we started having to put up the side of his crib during month 7), so since he is past the smothering stage I was comfortable enough to put them in for every night this month.

As for the peeing on himself, my mother-in-law recommended "making sure it's always pointing down" when putting on a new diaper. We'll see if that stops him from waking up drenched in urine. :(

Back to Thanksgiving. . .Joe's nephews' wives want to have six kids. I am in awe of people who seriously are at ease with that thought. I can't even fathom on my best day thinking I could handle that many. There's something about mothers of large families that seem superhuman to me. All of those who I've found with blogs are even skinny and gorgeous, and I'm thinking, HOW?! How would you even have a moment to get a haircut? (I don't have the time with one child, which is why that's the title of my blog!) How is your stomach flat when it's been stretched that many times?

Lately I've been thinking I would be fine with just Logan. Although he's still the absolute greatest joy of my life, and "my old life" doesn't even compare to the wonderful life he's given me. . .the older he gets the harder he gets, and so it's not like I'm going to get bored anytime soon. We have someone to carry on our blood and Joe's name. Logan completely fulfills me--I feel like I'm getting to experience "the experience" of being a mom from Logan so I don't need another. It's too bad I was raised as an only child (my brother is my half-brother from my dad & his second wife) because otherwise I could talk myself into being done. :p Not to avoid the stereotypes (I wasn't spoiled or lonely or antisocial or even mature for my age), but rather I just don't think it's healthy for parents or children when there is no other child to take the focus or distraction some of the time! Plus, somewhere I read that boy only children generally have more psychological issues than the average person. :/ And, when Logan is an adult I know he'll want that relationship. Maybe not all of the time when he's a kid, but I think there's nothing better than a brother and sister or two brothers or two sisters who can be friends when they grow up, and also help/give each other support when their parents get old and/or pass away.

My parents didn't really have a choice (they separated when I was 2 and by the time my mom remarried when I was 8 she'd been a single mother for several years so she'd lost her motivation to go through the stress of seeing whether she'd have an easier time having a baby than she'd had with me--after 4 miscarriages and me being two months premature)--but Joe and I do have the choice (as far as I know) so I think I'd end up regretting it if I turned 40 and had only had one child.

But 6?! That wouldn't be healthy for me or my children (or the rest of society, haha). Joe's nephews grew up in a family of five, though, so they had a good example. We're expecting them to announce another pregnancy soon, as both their wives said they haven't been doing anything to prevent another pregnancy since their babies were born in February & June, and they hope to have them all close together.

On the ride home from Colorado Logan was not happy about being confined in his carseat. Stopping at gas stations and rest areas weren't working like it had on the way out. Every time we put him back in the van he'd SCREAM at the top of his lungs. We were never going to get home if we kept making stops, and since nothing I did would distract him (we'd pretty much brought his entire life in the van which had kept him entertained on the way there), he screamed for two straight hours before I finally just had to break the law and hold him the rest of the 7 hrs. It wasn't something I'd wanted to do, even after a lot of moms had told me that was the only way they'd been able to travel that far with their babies. I just figured the one accident I'd get into in my life would be when Logan wasn't strapped in, so I was never comfortable on the ride home. But, he did fall asleep in my arms. I was worried that he'd continue to be all outa whack when we returned home, but thankfully he crashed in his crib immediately and went right back to normal with his sleeping and eating.

Joe's mom headed back to Iowa that night and I spent the week unpacking and Christmas shopping. Logan was such a little sweetie that week. . .he loved riding in all of the carts and looking around at the stores and smiling at all of the people :) We were stopped at every store by shoppers coming up to talk to him. At Hallmark I had carried in his carseat because I was making a quick stop and it was cold and I didn't want to take him out from under his cover. At first he was really quiet and so I don't think anyone really noticed me walking around. . .and then all of a sudden there was an "Ah!" sound. Every 90 seconds Logan would yell "Ah!" and it would startle whoever was around me which was funny. The people would always laugh and then peek in to see what had made that sound. I think everyone thought it was cute that he wasn't crying, he was just letting me know he didn't want to be in the carseat anymore! An old man said he thought Logan looked like a very happy baby. :)

The following weekend (December 6th) was my grandmother's 95th birthday in Missouri and so we surprised her by coming over for that. Along with my dad & stepmom and neighbor Judy, my aunt & uncle from Texas were there (who I don't get to see very often; my dad's brother & wife) so that was a bonus! We decided not to spend the night since it was Logan's third weekend trip in a row. It was a good thing because Logan didn't nap there, and once again although he'd done well on the way there, he screamed the entire three hours home. I didn't take him out of the carseat that time because I didn't want him to get used to thinking that would be okay (going to Colorado was an exception because we won't normally be taking 9.5 hour trips)! But that meant I had a horrible headache when we got home. :/

Even tonight on our way to the restaurant, Logan cried the whole time in the car. It's a big bummer because up until the Colorado trip the car was the one place he was guaranteed not to cry. That's why we let Logan fall asleep in his carseat for five months because it was his happiest/most comfortable/secure place! There were only two previous times in the 8 months that he'd cried in his carseat and both had been during his first six weeks.

The first time was one day in May when Joe and I had decided to meet for lunch at a park for a picnic. I'd been in bed watching Matlock, haha (this was back when Logan slept all of the time and I could actually lay in bed and watch TV. . .no more after three months old!) and hadn't showered yet, but I was so happy when Joe called and asked me if I wanted him to pick up a couple of subs. I threw on a pair of clothes, washed my face, and put Logan (who had woken up and I'd just pumped a bottle for him) in his carseat. . .only the straps locked up and he got stuck! I panicked because he began screaming as if he was hurt and so I started crying, too. I called Joe, probably sounding like I was having a nervous breakdown. Looking back I'm not sure why I got so worked up, but I think this was my first experience with feeling like a failure as a mom. Shouldn't I know how to put him correctly in his carseat? Joe assured me that it was going to be okay and he would come to our house rather than meet me at the park. I was balling my eyes out when he walked through the door, but I calmed down once I saw how easily he got Logan properly in the carseat.

Unfortuntately, it happened again a week or so later when I went to get my hair trimmed. I was ready to leave and the carseat's straps locked up. Joe had shown me how to loosen them the last time, but although it required just two simple steps, I forgot one of them and so, once again, Logan was stuck. This time when I called Joe he wasn't at his desk. So I had another nervous breakdown. I was going to be late! I couldn't leave unless Logan was properly in his carseat. What was I supposed to do? Call my sylist and tell her, I'm sorry I can't come in because I don't know how to put my baby in his carseat? I was probably more embarrassed/ashamed than anything. But through my tears I continued to fiddle with the straps and button and I figured it out. I got Logan in and he stopped crying! And, even though I was a couple of minutes late to the salon, my stylist wasn't even finished with the client before me, so I realized how the stress I'd put on myself hadn't really matched the situation. Even though this was a very simple task (which is why I felt dumb) I proved to myself that I could figure it out and so I wasn't a failure as a mom. Since then there have been numerous situations where I might not have panicked quite like those two times in the beginning, but I'll feel like I'm the only mom on the planet who might be slow at something, even though I know that's not the case. I suppose I'll experience that emotion until Logan is full grown.

Anyway. . .so the current cluelessness of not being able to stop him from crying in his carseat has led me to think maybe I shouldn't sit in the backseat with him anymore because I seem to make him madder! I'm glad he doesn't have crying fits very often because when he does there is nothing I can do to soothe him. If I touch him he pushes me away and if I try singing he screams louder. But experts say that it is okay if he's giving me cues that he wants to be left alone, that I do. As I've said before, I am not a fan of the "crying it out" method, but there are definitely times when long crying can not be avoided and just has to happen. I look forward to when he & I can communicate. . .right now he just doesn't understand why I can't take him out of the carseat and so it's exhausting for the both of us!

Speaking of exhausting, as you saw on my Crawling post, he took his first steps on Monday, December 8th and now is zooming through the house. It has put my anxiety into overdrive. I don't understand how mothers survive past this stage because every day I think I'm going to have a heart attack! I can't keep the dog toys away from him. I've put their toy basket in another room but they keep bringing each one to where we are so quickly that Logan has put every single one in his mouth. No matter how much I vaccum, he finds things on the floor that I can't see. He's put a twist tie in his mouth, a button, and a piece of dog food. He goes for all of our cords and other things that I didn't even realize were dangerous before. I'll look around the room, think the coast is clear, and then he'll do something that makes me realize that if I hadn't caught him in time, he could have died.

I'm sorry to be so dramatic, but it's true! In my post, Six Months Old, I mentioned I wanted to take a CPR/heimlich class. We are going to our pediatrician's office on Dec. 30th to make sure Logan is okay to have his brachial cleft fistula CT scan (since he has to be sedated for it) and so I'm going to ask them for recommendations because I want to sign up as soon as the new year begins. At least then I'll feel more secure because right now I wouldn't have a clue what to do in a situation that required one of those emergency methods, and so it makes me more scared/on edge than necessary.

I've heard that at some point in every parent's life they have to take their child to the ER. I know that there is no way to avoid a child getting seriously injured, it's going to happen. But just because I know this is out of my control doesn't mean I can just relax and say, "since it's going to happen, might as well not worry." You hear about freak fatalities to children all of the time! I feel like I HAVE to be a step ahead of him! I don't want to be neurotic but I also don't want to be naive. So, I'm currently trying to find the balance.

I would have decorated differently for Christmas if I had known Logan was going to be crawling overnight. He still seemed like he had a long way to go when we were at my Grandma's 95th birthday (I didn't predict it happening until early January), and yet 24 hours later he was crawling. At least I did manage to decorate our house and tree, though, and Joe even put lights up outside our house. I baked cookies on several occasions this month, listened to a lot of Christmas music, caught ONE Christmas movie on TV (usually that is one of my favorite things from this time of year and so I watch several) and although my Christmas letter went out much later than usual (I think in all of the years past it was mailed the day after Thanksgiving), I still got it out. I did most of my Christmas shopping online this year because even though Logan did well going to the stores with me, he had a short attention span. It seemed like I would just start to find things when he got antsy and so I knew that we better head home before he started crying. So, shopping was much slower and not as good as other years (for example, usually Joe is the easiest person to buy for, but I have nothing good for him--seriously! I have socks, underwear, a trashcan and a book [and he doesn't even like to read]! But, he didn't have a chance to get more than three little things for me, either, so we're going to buy one big gift for each other, together, in January instead).

I've felt like the Christmas season is the first time I'm noticing the difference between my pre-baby life and now. Probably because it's always the most stressful time of the year and this year with a new addition it is extra so. But for the very first time since Logan was born last April I've had the thoughts of "I miss such-and-such." I'd say the most common is reading. I've read three fiction books since he's been born. I used to read three a month! I long to just relax--truly relax--and read uninterrupted.

Also, go to the movie theater at a split second's notice. There are a ton of movies right now that I want to see. Not that Joe & I really went to the theater very often before we had a baby (he doesn't really like going) but whenever I really wanted to, I could always get him to. There have been no steps to find a babysitter since my post, Update, when I mentioned how we haven't had one yet, so deciding at the last minute to go to the theater hasn't really been an option.

Oh, and eating slowly. Strange, I know, but I feel like most days I have to eat so fast because Logan only allows me a few minutes for a lunch or dinner break. Despite not eating for pleasure anymore, I haven't lost any extra weight, but I feel like I'm starving all of the time because I'm more active than I've been in the past five years.

Fortunately I never got sick like I was worried about in my post, More of Logan's 7th Month, so the only virus I've had since Logan was born was that one cold in September. Logan has made it 8 months with none -- yeay! I didn't think it was necessary to get Logan the flu shot, so I'm glad I'm still breastfeeding so he's still getting antibodies.

The weekend of December 13th I finally made it to a hair appointment. That's something else I miss--being able to just run anywhere at anytime. My hair was an absolute disaster. It'd been since September since I'd had a trim or highlight. I decided that since my hair stopped falling out last month and has grown back in, and I'm only nursing twice a day, I'd completely change the color. . .to red! (For those interested in natural hair color, check out EcoColors.) It's something I've never done before (and I've had a lot of different hairstyles over the years). However, it came out looking dark brown rather than red :(

My mom & stepdad came over that day and watched Logan while Joe & I (separately) finished our Christmas shopping, so that helped.

On the 14th, Joe and I went over to Matt & Stacy's so our boys could have another playdate--and also so Stacy and I could have an excuse to celebrate our December birthdays! :) They knew of another couple with birthdays this month and so they invited them over, ordered a cake, and I brought ice cream. It was fun.

Afterwards, Joe and I took my local writers group materials to the new librarian. I held the position since June 2006 but have only made it to one meeting since Logan's been born. In my post, Pregnancy Ruined My Wrist, I mentioned that after Joe's trip to Branson last August I wanted to return to fiction writing. We've now realized the only way that's going to happen is if Joe watches Logan one night a week while I go to the library or somewhere not in this house to "zone out" and write! So that will be one of my new year's resolutions. . .as it's been a year-and-a-half since I wrote a novel consistantly each day. :( In my post, Trying To Figure Out A Schedule, I mentioned that I'd decided not to renew my membership with my writers group come January, although I did with the Romance Writers of America--so that if I decide I'm able to rejoin my local group or I find a new one, I can (you have to be a member of the RWA first). I do hope to have the time again for a writers group, maybe a year from now.

I already told you about the past week (with Joe's diverticulitis), and I also decided to get a couple more things Christmas shopping on Thursday the 18th--and then yesterday (Saturday, December 20th) we went to the mall so Logan could sit on Santa's lap, which was fun :)

To finish up. . .Joe's oldest nephew had typhoid fever at the end of last summer, but we saw him over Thanksgiving and he is completely recovered, thank God!

I've never mentioned that Logan has always sneezed more than we do, but when he was born the hospital staff told us that we would probably notice that during his first year because it is super common with babies and nothing to be concerned about. He's not sick or allergic to anything, it's just their new noses adjusting to air outside the womb. Kind of like how whenever Joe walks from inside to outside he sneezes, I'm not kidding, he's done that as long as I've known him!

My three friends who are having babies in April are expecting two girls and a boy. I was 2 for 3. I was actually three for three when they first told me (i.e. I pictured them with the sex that they're having) but then switched one of the girls to a boy when she told me the heartbeat (it was the same as Logan's). I should have gone with my first instinct. . .plus, that's statistically accurate (generally in a group of three, two will be girls and one a boy. That was how it was with Joe's two nephews who had babies (girls) two months before and two months after Logan!)

Earlier I mentioned that I've read three fiction books since Logan's been born. One of them was my first Jodi Picolut book titled Harvesting The Heart. I highly recommend it to all new moms. At first I thought it was a book about a woman with post partum depression, but later realized she was rather quite normal (just had a major issue with her mother). It was really good so I will definitely be reading more of JP's books. She'd been recommended to me for years, but I'd seen two of her movies and they weren't that good (movies never do books justice) but then the third movie I saw WAS really good and I could tell she had a similar writing style to me. Some parts of this book were hard for me to read (emotional/sensitive since I have a new baby--the book starts off as she's leaving her baby boy) but I couldn't put it down because there were several things I could laugh at because they were so real to all mothers, despite it being a serious book. I recommend it to even those who aren't moms!

Preparing For Brachial Cleft Surgery

This was originally written on Monday, July 7, 2008:

Joe and I just got home from our non-appointment with the ENT. Just like the plastic surgeon last week, this appointment had to be rescheduled because the guy needed to be in surgery for the rest of the day. Only this time we actually went to the office and waited a half-an-hour, so that was too bad (especially since Joe took off work). But, at least we don't have to sit and wonder anymore what the surgery is going to be like.

After I posted last week (to read my blogs about this subject click here), I remained in good spirits until Wednesday night. I'd done well with my baby's brachial cleft situation for a week (after having a horrible week the first week), but that all went out the window before bed Wednesday night, as I admit I was not fun to be around. On Thursday morning I was SO nervous--I can't even remember the last time I had "butterflies in my stomach" that bad. It just seemed like the appointment was so important: the questions I asked, the answers the surgeon gave, etc. It didn't matter anymore what the internet said--the "real thing" was now. We were going to find out Logan's fate.

So, I'm not proud to say that I was snapping at Joe on his birthday Thursday morning and was on the verge of tears. (I purposely didn't wear mascara that morning because I assumed there would be smudges.) I tried to joke that wasn't a good sign if I cried before we even got there. But I calmed down on the drive when we were listening to an 80's radio station and in that mix they threw in a song from 2001--the song that ended up being Joe & my song that we danced to at our wedding reception in 2003. ("Hero" by Enrique Iglesias.) I realized why it's easy during times like this for couples to pull a part--but this is a time we need to team together more than ever. So I shut up and we held hands the rest of the way to the surgeon's office.

Once we arrived, I thought maybe we walked into a modeling agency on accident, haha. The place was swimming with extra-beautiful people. It was rather humorous. I checked in the front desk and we were ushered downstairs to where the normal-looking people were, lol! (The upstairs is where they do the aesthetic surgeries and downstairs is medical procedures.)

We didn't have to wait long; the plastic surgeon came in during the middle of his surgeries (so he was still in his scrubs) to answer our questions. I was amazed that I made it through the entire appointment without tears. He was just so casual and confident that it seemed like we were making Logan's first dentist appt. rather than talking about surgery.

He explained that he was very familiar with brachial cleft sinus (yet another version of the name--you might have noticed in my "More On Brachial Cleft Fistula" post that when I was copying the medical information the first word was spelled with an N. When my mom spoke to her ENT about it, he referred to the hole as a "brachial cleft fistula"--which is what Joe & I have been calling it. But our pediatrician refers to it as a "brachial cleft cyst", however that's only once infection has occured--right now there is no growth for Logan).

During the surgeon's twenty-plus years of practice, he's done this surgery rougly once a month (which sounded good to me, considering the condition is rare). It's something that is best done when a child is 3-4 months old. After that, infection is likely (and worst case scenerio can lead to death; best case scenerio the surgery is much more complicated and risky than doing it prior to infection). Apparently once a baby gets to be 3-4 months old surgery/anesthesia affects them the same as it does adults, which is a relief.

So, he'd like to do Logan's procedure in August. They will have to stick a probe in the hole to see how far it goes in and that will determine the seriousness of the surgery. (They have to cut into the tract to fuse the area together.) But generally babies don't need to even spend the night in the hospital--they can go home after a few hours from when they arrived! Best of all, he shouldn't need anything more than a Tylenol afterwards (if even that) for recovery. Babies usually act no different following this surgery and can resume their normal life (with the exception of not taking a bath for a few days). The scar will be so small that by the time he's an adult it won't even be noticeable.

This was all MUCH better than we originally thought and so we walked out of the office very relieved. They sent a letter to our insurance to make sure that it will be covered, and expect to hear back within 4-6 weeks. At that time they'll want to immediately schedule the surgery. If the ENT says the same things we'll probably have the plastic surgeon do it--unless we like the ENT better. Either way, it will be done at Children's Hospital (where Logan stayed the night during his jaundice) which is the best place possible. If the two doctors contradict each other then. . .I guess we'll have to find someone else. Our appointment with the ENT is now tomorrow (Tuesday, July 8th) at 2:45 pm.

I loved our experience with Children's Hospital a couple of months ago, except for one of the guards there. Joe had parked outside the entrance and we went in to give the front desk our information. An old man came over to us and told us (very rudely) that we needed to move our car immediately--that place was only for pick-up and drop-off. Joe was like, "We're dropping our baby off." The guy was like, "Your wife can wait here while you move your car!"

I GLARED at the guard. That was probably the most emotional week of my life, you'd think he'd know that parents coming in with a baby would probably be in a vulnerable state and thus could have treated us nicer. At least all of the people there who counted did.

Shortly after we returned home from our appt. last Thursday, Joe's mom arrived to celebrate his birthday. She had stopped to pick up Moe's (Southwest food) and so we ate that for lunch and then I picked up Joe's DQ cake and we had that for dessert.

In the meantime he opened presents (I ended up getting him Guitar Hero Aerosmith). Joe's mom had gotten him another WII game (Super Mario Galaxy) and so he played that & G.H. Aerosmith while she took a nap.

That evening we all took Logan and the dogs for a walk around the neighborhood where everyone was shooting off firecrackers. (Cosmo was a scaredy cat so I had to hold him half the time.) We decided not to go see fireworks since Logan's so young. We ordered pizza & wings, and Sandi & I watched August Rush (a movie she had bought for Joe & me when we came home from the hospital after Logan was born), while Joe played more WII. We had watched the first twenty minutes of August Rush when she stayed with us the first time after Logan was born, but (no surprise) we'd been interrupted. She hadn't known anything about the movie when she bought it, but she couldn't have picked a more perfect film for me just having a baby boy--it was really good!

On Friday, July 4th, Sandi made pancakes in the morning and helped us around the house both with dishes (very nice!) and with Logan, as she babysat him while Joe & I went to the movie theater for the first time by ourselves since I can't remember. We saw Get Smart which was funny. It was nice to get a break for a date. That is the hardest part about being a stay-at-home mom. No breaks! It's 24/7 running around, focusing on the baby--and when I'm sleeping I still have to be "ready" to run around. The closest I get to time away (and unfortunately even being on the computer or watching a movie or reading isn't good enough since I'm still getting up & down to take care of him in the middle) is when I go to the grocery store. . .but I wouldn't consider that relaxing! I think I'm going to make an appt. for a massage--that sounds REALLY NICE. Plus, it appears I might be making myself sick.

Off and on for the past 2-3 weeks I have felt light-headed. Then, last Monday evening it came on super strong and stayed for over 24 hrs! I was so scared that I was going to pass out (which I've never done before). I'd never felt this particular way in my life and it was really scary. The room kept spinning and I thought I'm going to faint and then I won't be able to tend to Logan! I about called Joe to either come home or call me every hour to check on me. Every Tuesday he golfs after work and I was really thinking he was going to come home and find me on the floor. I planned to go to my doctor on Wednesday to get my iron levels checked (I've never been anemic but know some breastfeeding moms are)--but I felt better that day, just really tired. So then I thought maybe I needed more sleep, so I slept 10.5 hrs. (I'm pretty sure it's not dehydration which can happen easily to breastfeeding mothers--so you're supposed to drink a ton and consume extra calories, but I've been eating too much these past 2-3 weeks--I think that might be my coping-mechanism with Logan's brachial cleft.)

I was fine on Thursday-Saturday but then last night I felt dizzy again. I feel healthy as far as any virus' so I think that no breaks for the past 11 weeks is what's catching up with me.

Sandi left on Saturday after we all went to Mount Vernon Gardens (a really pretty park that overlooks the Missouri River, where Joe and Logan are going to have their baptism and dedication either this weekend or next weekend) and had a Blimpies picnic.

Joe and I then bought ourselves an eliptical machine! :) I'd written in one of my pregnancy posts that was something we were looking into, so we are happy with the selection and price. We get to pick it up on Thursday. I'm so excited, I still have the desire to "move-move-move" that was in me during my pregnancy but had been unable to.

On Sunday my mom & stepdad came over on their way home from visiting my maternal grandmother in Kansas City. We all had a nice visit; they thought Logan was acting more mature than when they last saw him. He's finally starting to hold eye contact, although sometimes he blinks a lot while looking directly at something; my stepdad said he's shy, haha.

I ended the weekend watching Juno and then crashed in bed. As much as it helps to have company over to help out (I realized how lucky people are who live near their relatives--as I can't imagine how much easier life would be if I had the grandmothers to watch Logan whenever I needed a break), it's also very exhausting. I wish I knew how to let everyone else take over with Logan when I'm around. Since obviously everybody has a different way of doing things, I don't know how to just be okay when others do things differently with him. When it comes to other people and their own children, I could care less if it's different from me--I think everyone has to do what works for them. When it comes to me or anyone but Logan, I also don't have strong opinions or am easily bothered if someone wants to change up our pattern. I'm not one for conflict and usually go with "whatever." But with Logan that is NOT the case. With him I feel I must follow what I read and hear if it makes sense and fits for me. But when other people do it their way with him, it's harder for me to not "correct" them---and so then I feel like a b***h. I'm trying to pick my battles, but with both Joe's mom and my mom, I can tell they're both getting defensive because they probably think I'm putting them down even though that's not my intent. I don't conider myself a neurotic, tense, or picky mom--but sometimes that's how I feel around them. SIGH. I welcome any suggestions on how to deal with other people taking care of your kids because it would be nice to get the full benefit of having help!

In other news, Logan's eyebrows are in now. We can't tell yet whose they are, though.

I don't think I ever told you about how when Logan was six weeks old I left him for a minute and he screamed, so I ran back to him and he started laughing. I said, "Oh you think that was funny, getting mommy all worried?" And he smiled & laughed again. He's a squirt. :)

I think now is the time when people stop referring to babies in weeks but change to months, as he is 11 weeks old now but still has two more weeks before he turns 3 months old, so from now on I'll be referring to him by months rather than weeks. His three-month birthday (7/18) happens to be on a Friday (the day he was born) so I made his first professional picture at Target for that day!

I think that Logan might be getting ready to teethe, but I hope I'm wrong (since he's rough enough already when nursing). I read that, on average, it happens around 6 months of age so he'd be really early if he's showing signs already. . .but on Saturday he was fussy all day (which is not normal for him). You might remember me saying that he's cut down on his pacifier usage for his hand--well, that day he wouldn't stop sucking on his hand and tried to put anything within reach in his mouth. He was also drooling, which he never has before, and wanted to nurse ALL DAY. But while that would comfort him at first, he'd then get cranky on the breast which he never has before. So, I got a bottle of breastmilk out of the fridge and rubbed the cold nipple on his gums and he stopped crying. That's when I wondered. . .and so I looked up online and saw that all of the things I just mentioned are signs.

However, then Logan slept a lot that night so I wondered if he just got overstimulated over the 4th of July weekend. As I said in my last post, he has started fighting his naps so that may be why my usual three things didn't work that normally stop his cries (#1-feeding, #2-holding, #3-rotating him from the car seat to the swing to the pack n play to the play gym to his crib). He's been better since then, except still drooling and sucking a lot on his hand.

At work the other day one of Joe's co-workers asked if Logan sleeps through the night. Joe answered, "He usually gets up two times." Apparently the guy didn't like this answer. He said, "Oh that's not good! He should be sleeping through the night now! Do you leave a light on?" Joe said, "Yes." The guy was like, "Oh there's your problem!"

Now I've only been a parent 2.5 months but it seems to me that babies don't HAVE to do anything. Yes, there's an "average" but not necessarily a "right" or "wrong." From everything I've read, "on average," it takes babies 4 months to sleep 8 hrs straight through! (But, because of that Baby Wise book I mentioned in my last post, many parents are "training" their babies to do it as early as six weeks, which is why my PA gave us the go-ahead at Logan's two month check-up.) But Logan is 2.5 months old and sometimes just gets up once, so it appears that soon he will be sleeping through the night. As I said in my last post, his current schedule is not bothering us which is why I haven't read that book. That's not to say I won't in the future if he's still not sleeping thru the night at 6 months, but I don't get why this guy was so passionate about telling us that the way we're doing it is wrong. It made me think we'll be getting more of these kinds of comments to come. I purposely don't pay attention to when a baby is "supposed" to do "this & that" because I don't think it's a competition. But sadly other people must.

We did shut the closet door to dim the light that we leave on just to see if it makes a difference--but it hasn't. I don't mind letting Logan cry for up to 5 minutes now (before I'd always rush to him immediately--even when I was going to the bathroom :p) but he's never cried for more than that. According to The Mother Magazine, "there is a dramatic fluctuation in blood flow during extended crying which decreases cerebral oxygenation and causes an increase in cerebral blood volume. This increases intracranial pressure and puts the baby at risk for an intracranial haemorrhage. At the same time, the blood, by now oxygen-depleted, flows into the systemic circulation, rather than into the lungs."

Yikes. I admit I spent my pregnancy doing a lot of research about pregnancy but nothing about parenting. I guess now's the time to start figuring it all out! So, ater my last post when I mentioned learning about the CIO (cry it out) method, I did some research and decided I support what is called "attachment parenting." (This is the opposite.) You can read about what these mean by clicking on the following two links: The Potential Dangers of Letting Your Baby Cry and Attachment Parenting At Storknet.

Finally, for those who followed my pregnancy--remember how the top of my belly became numb during my second trimester and my doctor explained that it was the uterus pressing on the nerves? Well that area is still numb! I only notice it when something touches it, then I think, that feels weird. I wonder if the nerve still hasn't recovered from my pregnancy. My wrist isn't improving at all so I've decided I'm going to go to the doctor sometime within the next few weeks.

Also, I pumped 11.5 oz recently so (thanks to pumping AND nursing all day long, as well as taking fenugreek which I'll continue to do) my milk supply is definitely not low anymore so I'm going to go back to just nursing exclusively again--yeay!

I'll let you know how tomorrow's appointment goes.

When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade

This was originally written on Monday, June 30, 2008:

Our appointment with the plastic surgeon tomorrow has been rescheduled to Thursday, due to the doctor being in another surgery all day. I am ready to just get this show on the road. Lately I'll start to forget about Logan's upcoming surgery and so I'll feel happy--but then I'll remember and it puts a damper on my mood.

I am beginning to see that something good can come out of this, though. Last week I was getting depressed and then our builder came over. (They'll fix anything in our house for free within a couple of years. Nothing has broken, we just have a couple of doors that won't shut due to the house settling.)

I had just finished feeding Logan and so he was sitting on my lap (as he can do by himself now that he can hold his head up--as long as something is supporting his back! (So he LOVES his bumbo chair.) Logan was looking around and smiling and seemed more like a little man than a two-month-old baby, haha. The builder was going over the warranty info with us but kept stopping to comment about how cute Logan was. He said he & his wife thought their children were cute until now when they look at their baby pictures, they've realized not all babies are cute (ahh)! (His kids are in their teens now. He said that people always say the "terrible twos" are bad but they're nothing compared to the teen years. He said he'd love to go back to the toddler age.)

Anyway, five different times the guy said, "Look how healthy he is! Wow, what a healthy baby. His color is so good. He's so alert. He's so strong."

After he left, Joe asked me if I'd noticed how frequently the guy had mentioned how healthy Logan is. During those times I'd silently said to myself "but he's going to need surgery!" It was then when I realized I was starting to subconsciously think of Logan as a sickly child and that's clearly not the case. Joe held up our dark, chubby little guy and said, "Does this look like a sick baby to you?"

It totally made me snap out of the pity party, which I'm very glad!!!! I wasn't looking at life realistically. Without meaning to or even being aware of what I was doing, it was like I was expecting Logan to be perfect. But--duh--from the minute we are born we start imperfect lives. Since Logan is a part of this world, it was just a matter of time before he was going to have "something" wrong. Joe pointed out that all kids deal with a setback. If it wasn't now, it'd be something in the future. Sure, I'd prefer Logan not to have been faced with this so soon in his life, but having this brachial cleft doesn't make him less than he would have been without it. He's still healthy. In fact, it has nothing to do with his health--it's a genetic trait that was passed on, just like the cowlicks in his hair. And, better than a lot of genetic traits, once it's gone, it's gone. He should have no complications or even a sign that he had this (aside from a small scar).

I've been watching season one of the TV show Brothers & Sisters, as it was recommended to me by several people. There was a really good quote in the second to last episode where Sally Field's character says, "Sometimes being a good parent is knowing when not to parent. You have to get out of the way and let life happen to your kids."

That really resonated with me. I don't want to live Logan's life on pins & needles. Some of you might remember the article that I summarized in my "For Moms Who Are Going To Have Boys post." Obviously this scar that Logan will have after his surgery won't be the only scar he has in life! So it's a good time to start on the road that I've always wanted as a parent--to not get in the way of life happening the way it's supposed to for my kids.

When things like this happen in life, it's very easy to get caught up in the "loss of control" feeling and start channeling that energy in a negative way--i.e. becoming overprotective, anxious, fear-driven, controlling, etc. But in the end there is still no way to control everything--and instead you're just left with stress. I definitely don't want to create a world like that for Logan.

We also often want to look at these things logically--but that's impossible because this situation isn't logical. There isn't an answer to explain why random things happen. So it's very easy to get angry (why did Logan get the raw end of the deal by getting this cleft on his neck when his other family members have it on their ear--the only other place you can get it but don't need surgery?). There's another quote in the same episode of Brothers & Sisters by the uncle when he said, "We can't make decisions that are God's to make." Having this cleft was part of the blueprint God made for Logan's life, and so maybe there is a reason behind it, but it will do me no good to try and figure it out right now.

Coincidentally, both quotes were being told to a father who was facing possible surgery on his newborn twins. Earlier Sally Field's character had also said something to him about parenthood being fully of worry.

I thought about my birthday when I cut my foot on the glass (the blog about it is here) and first felt what I'm feeling now--being desperate to protect my little guy from pain and anything negative. . .but realizing I can't ever fully do so. . .and that's okay. He will be a better person in this world if he sees that he is strong enough to overcome obstacles.

The other night I took a bath (it's weird to take them now without Logan in my tummy--that was always when I spent my "one on one" time with him while I was pregnant, if that makes any sense. Since up until he was born I'd never been in this house pregnant, I notice all of these firsts). I was listening to my Plumb CD--the one I mentioned in that same birthday post--and it was so obvious to me that the glass situation happened to prepare me for what I'm going through now. Needless to say, I could relate to those songs even more so now.

As my brother's girlfriend said in a recent e-mail (she is wise beyond her twenty-one years): "Know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday."

Isn't that the truth? When I was in the first trimester of my pregnancy I was worried I could have a miscarriage (since my mom had four). I expected to be so relieved when I got into the second trimester because I'd no longer be in the "red zone." Instead, that's when my cousin lost her baby. I told myself that the third trimester is when I could relax, as then babies usually survive. Except. . .what if there is a complication during childbirth--what if I go through the entire pregnancy and then lose my baby at the very end?!

Once Logan was born and breathing on his own, I thought my worries were over. Everything had gone okay and he was healthy!

Until we learned that he was just nine points away from brain damage on the jaundice scale (you can read about his experience here and here.). I thought about how my stepsister had a baby nearly three years ago who appeared healthy--until he was a week or two old. Since then he has had an unknown illness, has been through surgeries all over the U.S. but is still only able to be fed through an IV. What if my baby was born healthy and THEN ended up having some type of debilitating disease?

Once we got through Logan's jaundice, I was relieved that he was content, bright, and showing all positive signs toward living a "normal" life.

Then the cleft was discovered. I thought back to when I was ten years old and was with my mom at someone's house and overheard them pointing to a picture of a little girl. The other woman explained that the girl had been "normal" until the age of two and then in one instant it all changed--she had a seizure and now was handicapped.

It was then when I finally realized that it will never end--for as long as Logan is on this planet, his next day is unknown. ALL of us are vulnerable to our bodies failing tomorrow. The only thing I can control is my attitude toward our particular situation: to have peace with it and let life take its course, reminding myself of all of the good rather than focusing on the bad.

For example, yes I had a rough pregnancy--but I didn't have any fertility problems or miscarriages. Yes, I had to push for 4 exhausting hours because Logan was face-up--but I had the fastest labor possible (only had to feel contractions for 3 hrs & became dilated within that same time) and the whole thing was fairly painfree despite it being natural. Yes, I had some issues with breastfeeding--but I'm still doing it. Yes, Logan had jaundice--but I had a quicker than average (3 days) recovery and my body bounced back easily. Yes, Logan will need surgery--but he's had no colic like a lot of babies; in fact, he's been easy & happy, I've had less stress than when I worked outside the home (I'd heard being a stay at home mom would be more stressful) and not a second of post partum depression. Best of all, he's is in tip-top shape.

It goes back to what I said at the beginning--we live in an imperfect world where nobody gets out unaffected. For every easy road we have, there's a harder one we also have to travel. I've known this for years--whenever I used to get jealous of someone, they'd have something in their life happen that I wouldn't want. So it made it impossible to envy anyone because to me that means you have to take the whole package. . .so I might as well just take my stuff.

Yes, Logan's surgery is going to be rough to deal with, but I have a lot to be thankful for, so I'm not going to let it put a damper anymore on the wonderful mood that I'm in every moment that I'm with him. I can stay in these moments and be appreciative that this situation helps me bond even more with him. I grew 100 times closer to him during his jaundice experience--honestly, I don't know if I would have connected so easily to him if I'd just had a typical first week at home. The first three days before we learned he had to go to the hospital I was kind of just going through the motions. This brachial cleft thing has been strengthening our relationship even more. I will never be able to say that this time in our life was a blur or that I didn't enjoy his first ten weeks. There's nothing that I've wanted to do with him that I haven't yet. Despite this experience, I am still loving every second of motherhood.

A few days ago Logan was sleeping peacefully and tears came to my eyes, as the only emotion I felt was how lucky I am to have him as my child. Even if we're faced with something else in the future, as there are a million worse things that could easily happen, he is so special. . .a little angel here on earth. I am so grateful for getting the chance to know this soul and to walk through life with him.

I saw a mother and her three-year-old son at the grocery store the other day and they were walking hand-in-hand and it was such a precious sight. I thought about how some day Logan will be able to walk side-by-side with me at the supermarket, how I can take him to the pool, the park, we can color. . .all of the things I used to love to do as a child I get to do again. :-) (I loved when my brother was three, as well as a Bible school class I helped teach a couple of summers in high school.) By that time, this little brachial cleft will hopefully seem like a little deal that happened a long time ago.

Wait--maybe I don't want to get "this show on the road," because that means I'd wish this next month away. . .

Something else pretty cool lately is that in the mornings when Logan first sees me, he looks & smiles at me like I can do no wrong. I've never had anyone look at me like that before in my life, haha! I know that some day it will change (I assume that happens around age 12 or 13) but it reminded me of how Dr. Phil always says kids should not fear their parents, but instead look at them like they make the sun come up in the morning. I hope that continues because it was the best feeling in the world to feel like I was this little guy's number one.

It's also made Joe feel good that Logan has started recognizing and smiling at him, too. Until recently Joe would joke, "He doesn't like me," because Logan's face didn't brighten the same way as when Logan would look at me--but now it does. Especially in the mornings, it's like Logan is happy to see us after a night's sleep. :-)

The other night I had to laugh: I was getting ready to go to sleep and I heard Logan do a fake cry, but I went into his room anyway. He stopped immediately and gave me a huge grin! It was so obvious he didn't need anything, he just wanted to see me--but I didn't care--I was happy to see him, too. :-) So I played with him a little bit (he loves it when he kicks my hands with his feet) and then turned on his mobile and he went to sleep. (He's using his feet more normally now. When he was born he had a lot of dexterity in them--he actually clapsed them together like hands the day he was born, haha! We're not sure whose feet he has but he's got monster big toes with a big space between them and the rest.)

The PA at our pediatrician's office said that we can start training him to sleep 8 hrs straight through the night now, by letting Logan cry it out. But I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I'd love to sleep 8 hrs straight through again! On the other, it would still be a while before I could actually do that since not coming to Logan's room will make him scream for a lot longer than getting up for ten minutes to nurse him (he always falls asleep immediately afterwards). Also, what if something is wrong? My aunt did that once with her firstborn and then said "never again" after she went in the next morning and her son had thrown up all over himself (babies have been known to choke and die that way). Finally, these days he doesn't usually scream anymore like I used to describe to you in the beginning. He will if whatever the situation is continues--but now when he cries it's a very cute cry that's apparent he just wants to alert me. Then, as I said before, he's so happy when I come to him. I somehow think that if he was expecting me and I didn't come it would start causing security issues. (Plus, the type of screaming he does borders on unhealthy.) (Update: I went on to research this and decided my gut instinct was right. I discussed this more in my next post.)

We were told both in our childbirth class and by the staff at the hospital that you can't spoil a baby under six months old, so I don't think now is the time to make him "toughen up" and be on his own for 8 hrs. He's sleeping 5 hrs straight through every night, which means we only get up twice each night. This is actually better than the average. From everything I've read, most babies this age wake up three times a night and many experts say it is too early to expect them to sleep through the night until four months old.

There is a book a lot of people have recommended to me called On Becoming Baby Wise that is supposed to help with the sleep and feeding schedule (throughout the day his naps are always at different times--so his feedings are anywhere from 2 to 5 hrs a part), but I don't plan to get it just yet since I'm okay with the way things are right now.

Considering two months ago I was up every one to two hours, I don't mind every five. We're moving in the right direction for him to start sleeping 8 hrs on his own soon, so hopefully it will happen naturally. Obviously if it hasn't by six months then I'll probably change my tune, haha!

On a "bummer note," my milk supply hasn't kept up with Logan lately (he obviously wants to stay in the 90th percentile) so I've started taking fenugreek (cheaper than More Milk Plus but with the same milk-producing herb) and am pumping regularly again. I feel like we've had a relapse back to where we were three weeks ago :( (To read about my breastfeeding rollercoaster, you can click here.) On the bright side, pumping and fenugreek every day seems to be working already--Logan went the longest he had between feedings: 7 hrs, which meant I pumped 11 oz--the most ever in one sitting. Our freezer is getting full! I'm glad it saves up to 6 months. So, hopefully I'll be able to return to nursing exclusively next week.

Also, Logan's starting to fight his naps during the day. Until this last week he loved sleeping and did so through ANY noise (I was always amazed the dogs barking never woke him up, but I assume he heard them when I was pregnant)--even during the loudest band ever at the wedding we went to on June 7th. But now that he's more interested in the world around him, he's taking more cat naps (waking up if I so much as cough). This has caused him to have a fussy time every now and then for the first time, however he settles down quickly & easily.

Right now I admit I'm a sucker when he cries. He sticks his lower lip out!!!! And, he isn't taking his pacifier as much lately--I noticed it started once he began breastfeeding more often. Normally I'd think this was a good thing, except that instead he's been sucking on his hand. It's really loud and aggressive (I don't want him to hurt himself) so I keep trying to put the pacey back in his mouth but he acts disgusted half the time now.

One of the other things the PA asked at our last pediatrician's appt. was whether Logan had at least one dirty diaper a day. Joe and I both looked at each other like she was crazy and were like, "Um ye-ah!" He still had 6-8 (more on the 8 side)! But just this past Thursday to Friday we noticed that he only had ONE. We were getting all freaked out that he was constipated and then read on the internet (because I'm behind on my What to Expect book) that after two months old babies generally only have one poopy diaper a day. It really happened overnight at exactly two-and-a-half months for him. The last three days he's had 3-4 each day, so it might go up and down for a while, but at least we don't have to worry about him being constipated unless he goes 7 days without one. Clearly his digestive system is working well!

Since I last posted on Tuesday, besides the builder guy coming out on Wednesday, I ate lunch with Lisa P and her cute little girl Lexi on Thursday, and then this past weekend was the very first weekend since Logan was born that Joe & I didn't have plans--company or going out of town. Originally we had a wedding in Iowa but we both decided due to our emotional week not to attend. Also, Joe had to work late on Friday and on Sat. morning. When he came home Fri I was doing my post natal yoga DVD for the first time (that my mother-in-law got me for Christmas). It is a harder workout than exercising by yourself--but it is so much fun because it actually focuses more on playing with your baby. I'm going to try to make it a routine because Logan seemed to enjoy it and that will give us a special time together. The best part was when I told Joe I was going to take a shower. I'd only gotten about half way through the DVD (because the entire workout is 50 min) and when I came downstairs Joe was doing the yoga with Logan!!!!! It was very cute :-)

On Sat. we went to Babies R Us to attempt to get the rest of the things on our registry. The reason why I say "attempt" is because their policy is to give 10% off all items left after the baby is born. . .but when we went in right after his birth they said we needed to call a number to get the actual coupon. So we did. Twice. And still no coupon. So on Saturday we told them that Logan is 10 weeks old, what's the deal? They called the number for me and insisted I'll be getting the coupon within 72 hrs and can bring it in with my receipt and they'll give me the 10% off. So Joe and I bought a few of the items (there's still some left)--including Baby Einstein's Neptune Ocean gym! :-) Logan LOVES it! We thought it'd be a good idea since he's so in love with his mobile; now this gives him a lot of things to look at AND touch, plus there's fun music. Sure enough, he smiles and makes a lot of noise (he's starting to "talk" more lately). The mirror is actually his favorite to look at, he seems fascinated--like he actually has a sense that it's him. He seems very stimulated by all of the colors--it's really fun to see him have fun already and show signs of intelligence!On Sunday I went to the store. . .I need to get Joe a birthday gift--he turns TWENTY-NINE (that's almost thirty!!!!) on Thursday (July 3rd).

That's it for this update, except if I'm to mention that I have my first pimple since my first trimester :p See, I didn't have it all bad while I was pregnant. My face broke out a lot at first but then I had better skin than I've ever had. Now I have a huge painful zit on my chin. :-( Also, my wrist hurts. It started hurting sometime during my last two weeks of pregnancy, and here it is ten weeks after Logan's birth and it still hurts. I guess I'll have to go to the doctor if it doesn't get better soon. (Update: I later learned I have de Quervain's disease/de Quervain's Tenosynovitis. You can read my posts about it here and here.)

On the subject of pregnancy things not going away--I still have "the line." It's faded a lot but I can still see it (I wrote about it on my blog post titled What's That Line?) So I looked up online and read that they can last as long as nine months! (Update: Mine lasted to six months post partum.) BTW, while I didn't get any stretch marks on my stomach, I did on my thighs. I guess I should have put cocoa butter on my legs, too, because my stomach doesn't look any different from before I was pregnant but my thighs have red lines now. :-( I swear they weren't even there until the day I gave birth. Oh well, SIGH, like I said on that blog--they're my tattoo for Logan :p

Meanwhile, Logan has the best skin ever. It's so soft and smoothe, no baby acne or the other things that they often get. He does have an "angel kiss," however. I had one, too. They last about a year--that's the red blotchy mark on the forehead. They occur in 40% of newborns, caused by dilating capillaries from when they were developing blood vessels in the womb.

Hope everyone has a happy fourth of July!