Much Better Day!

This was originally written on Friday, July 17, 2009:

Logan helped me clean the house today!!!! I've mentioned before that he likes to organize and put things away - he'll even take a paper towel and wipe the floor or dust furniture. The problem, though (which I wrote about yesterday), is that he immediatately likes to mess up whatever it is again! Today, however, he obeyed when I told him to keep things the way they were and "let's move on to the next thing." So yes, it was SUCH a better day than yesterday!

Even with a handful of short temper tantrums. . .I can't believe I used to describe him as easy-going. I think he's like me - it depends on the situation and who he's around. Overall we're both "in the middle."

Oh, and yes, I was the energizer bunny as a child as well. I remember my maternal grandfather used to shake his head when he was around me and say, "Andrea! Do you ever just sit still?!" He'd tell me he'd get exhuasted just watching me because I never slowed down. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 11. It wasn't serious, I never took anything for it and it never interfered with my life. And obviously I calmed down around high school, as the whole point of my post yesterday is because I'm NOT hyper anymore, lol. I know some people thrive on chaos, but I am the opposite. Still, I always try to find the good in going out of my comfort zone, so that's what I focused on today and it did help my perspective (Logan making my day easier was a bonus)!

We even had time for our usual hour walk as well as played outside in the backyard, as we do daily. I don't know what we're going to do this winter - going outside really breaks up my days - and Logan has NEVER whined outside. I'm sure he'll love playing in the snow but that's just not going to be the same!

On another topic, I have been waiting not so patiently for something that is saying "day 37" on my calendar which prompted me to take a pregnancy test and give a big sigh that it was negative. Although "cute" to have two babies born in April exactly two years apart, I am definitely not ready for baby #2. Must be stress-related, so hopefully after today going better it will visit tomorrow. . .along with my grandparents who will be here until Monday.
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This was originally written on Thursday, July 23, 2009:

We finally got our new camera! (To read more on my interest in photography, read My New Hobby.) We started thinking maybe we were going to get a Canon 40D instead of the Canon Rebel XS, even though it's double the price, because I have pretty big ideas of what I want to do (I'm trying to tell myself to take it slow and not get impatient/disappointed because I know it's going to take time). The Canon 40D is what people who actually make their living as photographers use.

However, before we went to buy it last night we decided to call Matt & Stacy because when Jaxson was 6 months old they added a professional camera with their regular one (the one like ours that broke). We hadn't heard what kind they had or what their opinion of it was. It was a good thing we talked to them because they have a Canon 40D! Matt said he hasn't been impressed at all and if he had to do it over again he would have gotten the Canon Rebel XS. He just saved us $! Apparently they're the exact same quality (which was my main concern - I want that fresh picture look) - there are just extra features to the Canon 40D but they aren't anything that Matt uses and nor are they features I care about at this point. He said that everything he likes about it is the same for the Canon Rebel XS.

So today Joe and I met while Logan was at his babysitter's and purchased the Canon Rebel XS at Best Buy, along with a 4-year protection plan incase anything happens to it like what happened with our other camera. (They will clean it every year, look it over, and fix anything for free. This is good since none of my digital cameras have made it to four years.) I'm so excited to start using it! :) Now we just need to sign up for a photography and photoshop class. . .

Speaking of Matt & Stacy you might have noticed that we haven't gotten together with them for awhile. They put their house up for sale on June 1st so they have been very busy. They've been living in the same house they bought since they got married so they were ready for a bigger one since they plan to have three more kids! (They would have already started trying except they wanted to wait until they bought a new house.) The good news is that they sold their house last week and bought a new one - but it is brand new and won't be completed until November so they are having to move into an apartment for three months. Their new house is farther from us, but the apartment is just 5 minutes away so we plan to do a playdate with Logan and Jaxson in August (which will have been four months).

In other news, something else to mention that Logan has been doing since 13.5 months old is that he walks over to me and sits down on my lap when he wants me to read him a book or put his socks or shoes on, or sometimes for no reason - it's so cute!

For those who use sippy cups - don't get the Born Free kind. I've mentioned that Logan only has 3 sippy cups because 99% time we use straw cups (except when they're all dirty). (You can read why in my post Straw Cups - The Better Alternative To Sippy Cups and Straw Cups - Not Sippy Cups) Well now he only has 2 (a Gerber and Nuby). My mom bought him his Born Free one last fall and he only used it a few times by a year old when I thought it was possibly leaking. By last month it was obvious it was - the liquid somehow spills out of it. She said it was the most expensive brand at the store - so don't waste your money. (Plus, it was always Logan's least fav of his 3.) I don't know for sippy cups which brand is the best, but for straw cups, definitely the Nuby brand (pictured below).My stepdad's parents visited us Sat, July 11th thru Mon, July 13th morning because they were on their way to South Dakota for a vacation. We had a nice time - went out to eat for chinese at a buffet on Saturday, the park on Sunday, played cards, and had Gambino's pizza for lunch and Red Robin for dinner. I also made blueberry muffins and cranberry bread for our breakfasts.

On Monday afternoon Logan had his 15 month check up. He weighed 24 lbs, 5 oz, was 31.5 inches long, and head was 19 inches. That is 50th percentile for weight, 75th percentile for height, and 90th percentile for head - how in the world he was once a 10th perecentile for head is beyond me, haha.

Our pediatrician was very impressed with him - even the fact that he's not talking on demand as much as he did a few weeks ago; he said kids really aren't consistant until they are two years old, so all he cares about at this point is if they say 4 real words and are communicating somehow. It is clear Logan understands every single thing I say (I can tell him to get his shoes, he does. I tell him it's bath time, he turns around and walks upstairs and goes right to the bath tub on his own, etc.) and he has no trouble communicating things to us. (He even said the word "hot" when touching the playground at the park the other day, even though I had never said that to him before or heard him say it!) Whenever the dogs bark he yells "Dog!" Which always makes me laugh because I always yell "Bella! Cosmo!"

His pattern was the exact same with mimicking - once he learned how to do it, he did everything on demand all of the time, but after a month or two just did a little here & there still only when he's in the mood. Doctor said that's probably just his personality; once he's learned something it's time to move on - so at first he was excited about talking and saying everything but now he's like, I'll just stick to what I like (such as, "oh shoot" which he still says 50 times a day, haha!)

Joe was a late talker and his dad even later (4 yrs old) and both of them are the smartest men I know (Joe tests genius level) so it has nothing to do with intelligence. Logan is completely average since he started at 14 months, everything I read says 13-18 months.

For vaccines, he got his last Hib dose (so now he's done with that, PCV, and Rotavirus) and his 2nd of 4 DTaP (he'll get his 3rd dose at 18 months and his final dose at 2 yrs).

We still haven't given him the polio or Hep B or A because they just seem so low priority (there's been no polio in the US since the 1970s, and since Logan is not having sex the only way he could get Hep B is through a blood transfusion, while Hep A is mainly in third world countries because it's caused by contamination - through poor or nonexistent sewage treatment. Those in the US who do catch it are usually between the ages of 5 and 14 - it is extremely rare for a baby/toddler to get it, pretty much only if they live in extremely unclean/unsanitary environments. It is also not a serious illness - virtually everyone recovers in a few weeks with no ill effects. This shot wasn't even given to children until 2006.) So I don't know when we'll do Hep A or polio, probably sometime before kindergarten.

We'll probably do the Hep B at 18 months since the only other vaccine he'll get that month is the DTaP.

So by the time Logan's 2 he'll be caught up on everything except the Hep A, polio and we're waiting until after age 2 for the MMR (measles, mumps, and rubella) which is just one dose. The only other two left on the childhood schedule are the flu shot which he probably won't ever get because it is usually a waste (statistics show it either doesn't work or is usually the wrong one or the flu might be "no fun" but it's not deadly, yet the vaccine has nasty ingredients) and chickenpox (which the vaccine has bad ingredients and it isn't a serious virus, so I'm leaning towards not giving that one at all, either, since I had it as a child and didn't care. . .I remember just liking being home from school with my mom)!

Logan did excellent again with the shots, no crying (he just screams when they prick him but stops the second they pull it out) and no side effects.

Unfortunately when he had his cold last week (which was gone by last Friday) his eczema from the fifth's disease came back and looked worse than it ever had. It itched him this time so he had scabs all over his shoulders. :( Our pediatrician gave us a few samples of the prescription cream and the horrible outbreak went away in just two days! He verified what I said in my post titled Everything, though, as far as it will probably come back. But at least this cream works very quickly so if we put it on at the first signs next time maybe we can prevent it from getting bad again next time he catches a virus.

Behavior-wise, Logan has been excellent since my stressed-out post Everything--3. Month 15 is going really well, so far! I asked Babysitter if Logan has thrown any temper tantrums yet and she gave me a shocked expression and said, "No! He is the sweetest child." She went on to say that "It could change, but he is actually my easiest, most well behaved child." I was so happy to hear that, even though she said more than once "that could change" which is so true - that should be the title of my blog: how kids are never predictable, just when you think they're getting easier they get harder, just when you think they're getting harder, they get easier. But at least this week was better than last week, so that's all that matters! And, I had a massage last night for the first time in two months which always helps my side of things! I made another appt. with the best massuse in the world for two weeks. I also returned to my counselor and last Sunday "you know what" came.

Logan did get into a cabinet with a glass pitcher, though (not his fault obviously) and dropped it to the ground, causing it to shatter. We were very thankful that only one tiny piece landed on his foot causing just a tiny prick - but although I made an agreement with myself after last Thurs. when I yelled at Logan for that third time in his life that I'm just NOT going to do that again, I also need NOT to do it with Joe. Because I screamed at Joe since he was the one watching Logan at the time, but this made Logan burst into tears because he was scared of me! So then I had to comfort him and reassure him that everything was okay. . .but UGH, I felt horrible. The last thing I want to do is to cause Logan fear and anxiety. I remember when I used to have time to watch Dr. Phil he said that when you fight in front of your children it changes who they are. It takes away their security - I do not want to mess up the good I've done through attachment parenting. I never yelled in the first five years of our marriage. No, Joe & I didn't always agree but we never raised our voices or lost our temper with each other. About six months after having a baby, however, I noticed we both started losing our cool at times. It seemed to improve around ten months, but lately I've felt like I'm yelling at Joe again, and after seeing Logan's horrified face on the day of the pitcher, I'm vowing to myself not to do it in front of Logan again.

Even today when I picked up Logan at Babysitter's, they were playing a game and she was holding him in her lap and she teasingly yelled at one of the girls who won and Logan burst into tears! He definitely doesn't like yelling!

I had the carpet cleaned on Monday night, and organized our basement. We had always just thrown storage stuff down there in a mess - next step is to actually throw all of our empty boxes away.

I revised Plans For A Year From Now (the post about baby #2) because I've decided I don't want to start trying to get pregnant again until August 2010 rather than June 2010. Even though I'm hoping for the best as far as morning sickness, I have to prepare for the worst and I don't want it ruining my summer. I want to be able to be outside with Logan every day again rather than with my head in a pillow. But instead of stopping in September like I'd originally planned, I've decided I'm fine just continuing until it happens. Yes, that means then I'll probably be pregnant in the summer months (blah) but I'd rather have a baby born in the summer than the winter due to virus' and SDD. I took a facebook quiz and it said I'll get pregnant in September 2010, LOL. That's a June baby and a girl according to the Chinese calendars.

The Fussy Baby Book

This was originally written on Monday, January 19, 2009:

(*NOTE: Even though I read this book during Logan's 9th month, and the book has helpful tips through the age of five, I only recommend this book for parents with babies 6 months & younger. If your baby is older than that and has usually been easy but suddenly seems fussy - relax, it is likely they are just going through a phase that will pass!!! That was the case for my son when I wrote this post - whew!)

I just finished reading a SUPER GOOD BOOK. In a future post, I'm going to devote an entire page to this book (Update: you can find it HERE). The book is called The Fussy Baby Book by William Sears, M.D. and Martha Sears, R.N. It is the book I mentioned after Christmas that I received from Joe's mom. As I've said before, Logan isn't a fussy baby but "month 7" was my hardest and least favorite of all of his months. One day I was so overwhelmed because I had absolutely no idea what was making Logan fussy that day or how to get him to return to normal. Believe it or not, I hadn't ever read any actual parenting books and I was confused with all of the conflicting information I'd been hearing from others, on TV, and reading in magazines & on the internet. Just like when I was pregnant, that's what prompted me to finally take charge and figure it all out for myself what I wanted and what worked best for us.

So, when Sandi asked for another Christmas idea for me, inbetween Logan's cries that day I googled, "best parenting book"--and this was one that came up. Of course since it was a "bad day," that's why my eyes focused on this title over the others. Without even reading anything about it (other than seeing it had been rated highly), I added it to my Christmas list. Thankfully, Logan didn't have any fussy days after that (his 8th month was one of my favorites as I said in my last post)--but he has the past few days as he's transitioned into "month 9." So, on Saturday I picked up The Fussy Baby Book . . .and couldn't put it down! I lost count of how many times I said, "This is such a good book!"

Until now I've been doing everything on an instinctual basis which is exactly what the book teaches a mother to do. The reason why I thought Logan was easy during his first three months is because I had no information in my head--I was just using my heart. Once he was about 4 months old and went on to a more active phase, I froze and assumed I needed to look elsewhere for help. But what a lot of society is doing doesn't fit for Logan and me, and so I've kind of done a dance since then--where I'm still doing whatever seems right to me at the time but then second guessing it later. It's easier to get overwhelmed if you're insecure.

Well I can tell you there will be no second-guessing anymore! I have the most trusted, respected, and famous pediatricians in America on my side (the same family who wrote The Vaccine Book; I first made reference to it in my post titled 4 Months Old, and another son is currently on the show The Doctors) as well as countless studies and research provided in the book. I love the new confidence I feel with being a mother after reading this book in just 48 hrs (that amount of time is a huge deal nowadays).

For one, it confirms so many things that I've already been naturally doing "right," and has given me knowledge and encouragement in the areas where I wasn't sure.

The reason why I put the word right in quotes is because that means right for me--not necessarily right for everyone. That's why I like this book because the main message is to do what works best for you & your baby. Of course they state very clear their ideas of what is typically best for all babies, but they also know that some babies & parents aren't going to fit--and that's okay. There are a couple of things which they promoted didn't/doesn't work for Logan & me (co-sleeping and baby wearing would have had to be forced for us which means it wasn't meant to be)--but 98% of their view clicks like a last missing puzzle piece!

I've written a few posts where I've talked about "attachment parenting" (Preparing For Brachial Cleft Fistula Surgery, My Son's Fifth Month, and Giving Sleeping Plan A Try )--this book is 100% pro attachment parenting. I also mentioned after Christmas that I'd asked for & received Becoming Baby Wise. I am going to read that one now, too, just to get a different perspective--but it sounds like it may be the complete opposite approach. If that's true, then I'll probably be throwing my copy away because nothing has ever felt so right and so good than following the advice found in The Fussy Baby Book. Best of all, I've been in so much better spirits when Logan has been "fussy" this week because so many things make sense to me now. I've often heard that we learn things at exactly the right time--and that's how I feel right now. I think this was the perfect time for me to read this book.

While it is especially geared towards "high-need babies" (which thankfully most days Logan isn't), I think all parents can benefit because what baby/child is never fussy? That is why I wanted this book--I wanted tips on how to cope & deal with the days I find parenting hard--but I also received just regular day-to-day parenting stuff. Apparently a lot of the same information is found in The Baby Book, so I plan to read that Sears book in the future as well. (They have a ton of books, which can be found here: AskDrSears.com)

Oprah had a show back in September about the common problem of mothers overworking themselves (in The Fussy Baby Book they call it "mother burnout")--she actually had on sad stories of how this can be fatal (one mom accidentally left her baby in the hot car and it died, another baby nearly choked, etc.) Lately I've started feeling like I'm on my way to getting burned out for the first time (there have only been two other times in Logan's life that I even felt like I needed a break; the first being August and the second being November) but I have been pushing past this normal and unavoidable feeling--but thankfully I've now stopped myself so that it won't interfere with my job as a mom. Just doing little things like getting my massage, going shopping, and reading have had an amazing effect!

The reason why "month 7" was my hardest is because I felt like a sponge that had all of the water squeezed out and yet kept being squeezed. But the thought of handing Logan off to someone while I got my battery recharged made me feel worse! I'd never had a situation where I was stressed out and had given all I had, but didn't want to quit. Things have always been good for me or bad for me--not both at the same time! This is not saying being a stay at home mom is bad for me (I actually think it's the best and healthiest and most "right fit" job I've ever had) but doing anything in a bubble over and over and over can turn something positive into something negative.

Many days I do feel I'm in a bubble. I have a great therapist who I've been going to a couple times a month since December 2006; she said I'm not meant to do all of this on my own. For centuries in all cultures raising a child was a family thing. You could call on up to 20 people to help you at any time because they were either in the same house or next door! You really didn't do any "motherly" things alone. Just in the past 50 years the norm changed--but people still lived in the same cities/towns as their family. So, once again, most had help easiy. Only recently are the majority living too far from their families for daily or weekly help. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is a bad thing. . .I can't see my mom & I getting along if she lived down the street. :p But it does present a lot of challenges.

Just as, even though 5.5 million moms in America (or 42% of those with kids Logan's age) are staying at home nowadays, the only one I know here is my neighbor Jenn. I know that being a mom is hard regardless of whether you're at home or not, but sometimes I can't help but longingly look at them and wish some days I could just drop Logan off at a babysitter's! (We've never had a babysitter of any kind yet.) My therapist said that they are two completely different experiences. While full-time moms do have more help, there are difficult situations I can't identify with and vice versa. Fortunately, 99% of the time I love this "set up" and wouldn't want it any other way. But now I AM ready and okay with someone taking Logan a couple of hours a week (my compromise so that I'm still getting to spend every day with him but a couple of hours will give me some moments to regroup).

Although. . .now a babysitter might be hard, as it appears Logan's in the first stages of separation anxiety. Joe's mom stayed with us for a few days and although he was fine being alone with her at Christmas, this time when she took care of him so that I could go shopping or sleep in, he was fussy. :( One morning he kept screaming and so I came into the room and then he stopped like a light switch! It didn't matter what I did (I could completely ignore him), as long as he saw me. If I tried to casually walk behind the wall, he'd cry again. I know there's no way to avoid this phase, which does typically begin around 9 months old (I read that babies don't realize they're a separate person right now--they think they're one with their mom) but I hope that it won't be bad since he's used to just me all day, every day at home with him.

Since I last wrote, we made an appt. with the ENT for Thursday the 12th, exactly a week before his surgery.

I'm still nursing and there haven't been any problems with that the past week, so I'm like the little train who could. . ."I think I can, I think I can" (make it to Logan's surgery).

Not much happened on Tues or Wed of last week, except that on Tuesday I started my period with only one day of MILD cramps (so although not 100% painfree like in October & December, better than before I was pregnant) and on Wednesday I had my first massage since the first week of November and it was lovely!!!! I'm going back again next week.

Joe's mom came on Thursday and I finally got my driver's license renewed (it had expired on my birthday). When Joe came home we went to get me a new cell phone. My first was in 2002, my second in 2004, my third in 2006, and now my fourth in 2009. I hated the one I'd had the past two-and-a-half years because everyone always sounded muffled, but I never got around to upgrading it (we have a landline so I usually just talk on that). So I've been loving my new one!

Back at home Sandi fixed us supper, as well as Friday's breakfast and supper, and that evening Joe & I went to the movie theater! :) I really wanted to see Revolutionary Road; I'd heard a lot about it since it won several awards, but it wasn't playing here so I'll have to wait until the DVD. Instead we saw Valkyrie, which was good except I forgot the story doesn't have a happy ending. :/

Thursday & Friday Logan ate puffs. We were really proud becuase it was the first time he'd ever fed himself flawlessly (and he didn't gag--he actually indicated that he wanted more).

Unfortunately, the past five nights Logan has gotten up FOUR times during a ten hour night (something he hasn't done FOREVER). Not only that, but it's been with a SCREAM and he won't settle back down for a good ten minutes (something else that is really rare). Today he even woke up in the middle of his two hour nap (which yesterday and today he didn't take until 3 pm, making it the only one of the day).

We haven't been able to pinpoint a reason for this behavior. He doesn't appear to be sick or in pain. . . more like something keeps scaring him! All days since Wednesday he's been "high-need" and a couple of them he had dark red cheeks (a sign of an allergic reaction). I did start an organic formula the first day this happened (last Wed) so I haven't used it since (now we've bought what our pediatrician gave us when Logan had jaundice--Similac Advance, what all the samples were that Logan had been on off & on the past 9 months), but while he was better today than any of the prevous days, he isn't back to normal.

I also used Oragel on Wednesday because for the first time he reacted to a tooth coming in. The sixth one that we'd been waiting for (his left canine) popped through that day (January 14th). Until now, I've always given him Hyland's Hoemopathic Teething Tablets at the first sign of fussiness and they've always seemed to work because we can count on one hand how many entire fussy days Logan has had since he was born! But that day nothing seemed to work. I tried all of the natural remedies but it was apparent that the tooth was causing him pain--so we tried Oragel. . .but not anymore since.

Today I made sure to eat boring foods for my breastmilk (although he's never been sensitive to my breastmilk or foods I've eaten before) and there has been nothing different around him or in his system so we will see how tonight goes. I'm glad we have his 9 month check-up on Wednesday just to make sure nothing's wrong. I do remember our pediatrician saying that "month 9" is very common for relapses in sleep because they are noticing their surroundings and understanding that they are alone for the first time, so maybe that's all it is. (Which makes sense since this is also the first week he's ever shown signs of separation anxiety during the day.) I also read in The Fussy Baby Book that often babies at this age develop anemia; he has refused his rice cereal the past month but I was hoping he was getting enough iron since we started feeding him formula every day. However I've noticed him looking pale in his pictures which is a sign (as well as fussiness) so I'm glad they'll be checking his blood for that as well.

Anyway, Sandi stayed until Saturday night and then yesterday was Logan's nine month birthday! On a sad note, today 8 years ago Joe's dad died.

Chris is relieved that her baby turned back to the proper position--with four weeks to go! Yeay!

A couple of interesting "new mom" moments that I have never mentioned occured last month when I was at my grandma's 95th birthday. One, I learned how complete strangers will think they know more about your baby then you do. This was the day before Logan crawled and so we had him on the floor encouraging him. As you know, Logan has always made it very clear when something is bothering him. His leg was caught under him but he was happy at trying to crawl so I wasn't going to mess with him. A lady there was like, "His leg is bothering me." I told her it was okay, he was fine. But 30 seconds later she said, "I'm going to move his leg" and then just reached down and pulled it out from under him! This made him start crying -- I was so annoyed! He'd been perfectly happy until she'd done that! I didn't show it, though, I just scooped him up and said it was time for him to eat--just so I could take him to a different room away from her.

I was also surprised that people will just do what they want with him, without asking me. I guess I assumed that when it came to feeding him anything I would be consulted. As I said last time, we have not fed Logan adult food yet. I know a lot of moms have by this point but our doctor said not until his 9 month check-up and we've honored that. From what I've read, there's really no reason to feed him anything other than milk and baby food, so why rush it when we have our whole life ahead of us? But I guess this is really late for mothers "years ago" and so older generations want me to get goin'. Most respect me when I say, "not yet" but that day Logan was given a bite of regular food without asking me. I didn't say anything because it wasn't anything bad, but once again I was surprised at how other people will just take over so easily with someone else's baby.

The only other thing I wanted to mention today was there was another show aside from those I talked about in my last post that covered a topic I've discussed here--the whole vaccination thing. Private Practice did a show a couple of weeks ago about the dangers of not vaccinating (a mother had a son who was autistic and blamed it on the MMR so she didn't give that shot to her next son and he got measles and died). The fictional show was super scary and made me cry--which was its intent. But I was disappointed that they didn't show the third option--it's not all or nothing! You don't have to vaccinate or not vaccinate. Breaking up the vaccines, or giving the MMR after the age of two, is still protecting our children from deadly diseases if they are exposed--but also protecting from brain & immune disorders. Unfortunately, the show probably installed fear in a lot of people who don't know this and so even if their doctor gives them the option, they will opt for all vaccinations at once.

Our last two appts. have gone well so let's hope the one this week does, too! :)

4 Months Old!

This was originally written on Saturday, August 16, 2008:

I wanted to report how Logan's 4 month appt. with the pediatrician went. . Logan officially turns four months old on Monday! :)

Joe, Logan, and I went to the doctor's office last Wednesday and for the first time there were no negative surprises! The appointment went so fast I was like, wait a second, that's it?! Is this how most people's visits are?

I much preferred this trip to any other! Logan came out to be 17 lbs, 1/4 oz. and 25 inches long. That makes him in the 90th percentile as far as weight and 50th percentile as far as height. We asked if he was "too chubby." Our pediatrician was like "no way!" The chart is just based on the average, but from a medical standpoint at this age "bigger is better." It's the smaller babies doctors keep their eye on. So that was a relief. Our doctor was like, "He's a great, healthy eater, keep it up!" I'm sure if Logan could have understood he'd have been happy! :)

Ironically, though, my milk supply has been decreasing AGAIN lately (despite still taking fenugreek), so I'm pumping all day every day again to see if I can bring it back up. Whenever I go a week without pumping a bottle I notice that my supply goes down despite Logan still wanting more! I didn't think that was supposed to happen at this point. Also, now that I can go longer between pumps, it hurts when I do it, whereas it never used to--not even in the beginning. Needless to say, I used to think I could open my own milk bank, I had so much stored in my freezer, but now I can count how many storage containers are in there because I've had to use them. :-(

Back to Logan. . .his head is in the 10th percentile (where it was when he was born) but the doctor wasn't concerned about that, either, because it's still bigger than it was at his two-month check-up (even though at that time it was in the 30th percentile)--so as long as it keeps growing and stays consistant with where it usually is, that's good. (It measured 16 in. circumferance.)

I also asked about his bad dreams, which I mentioned in a previous post he has for over ten minutes! Our pediatrician said that is normal with some babies and it is a good time for them to learn how to calm down/relax themselves. So we aren't to wake him up or soothe him at this point. It's true that when he wakes up he seems to have no memory of it (as he is always happy in "real life") so it's strange!

Our pediatrician loved him--Logan kept smiling & laughing at him!!! He had Logan do all of the tests they make 4 month-olds do, and Logan passed all of them with flying colors (holding his head up, following him with good eye contact, grasping anything within his reach, standing with assistance, etc.) He said Logan was really strong.

I didn't know that you can start feeding 4 month-olds baby food if you want. . .we're going to wait another month, though, as there are less chance of allergies that way and more chance that his digestive system is completely developed. You can read more at the following link: Parenting iVillage

For vaccines, we split Logan's up again. (We're doing half at the standard times and waiting on the other half until after he's two. Other posts I wrote about vaccinations can be found here: One. Two. Three.)

There's a good book out by Robert W. Sears (one of the most respected & famous pediatricians in America), called The Vaccine Book: Making The Right Decision For Your Child. The reason why the book is good is because it's completely both sides. Most books are either one way or the other--vaccinate or don't vaccinate. But he gives an honest approach from a board-certified medical standpoint, explaining how to to tailor your child's shot schedule to minimize risks and satisfy state requirements, how common or rare, as well as how serious each disease is, what the vaccine ingredients are, which ones are controversial and why, what side effects might occur, how to recognize, treat and prevent side effects, which brands and types of vaccines are the safest, and what precautions unvaccinated children should take to stay healthy.

The day before Logan's appt. Joe and I read the book together and feel good about continuing our decision to do the same shots that we had done at two months old, rather than skipping them all or adding the others at this time.

For the vaccines that we didn't do, as I said in the linked post above that I labeled "three," skipping polio is because there hasn't been a U.S. citizen with the disease since the 1970's. The vaccine is made of monkey kidney cells, cow serum, and human blood proteins. The chance of Logan contracting the disease any time soon is pretty much 0.

For DTaP, the controversy is because it's made of a lot of chemicals. Aluminum, formaldehyde (which is toxic), and polysorbate (also toxic) just to name a few. The "P" in DTaP is for the disease pertussis, and when the entire germ is used in the vaccine, it often causes shock, seizures, and brain dysfunction. For the DT, Dr. Sears writes, "In truth, tetanus is not an infant disease, and virtually all cases occur in adults. Also, diphtheria is virtually nonexistent in the United States. So, one could create a logical argument that a baby could skip the tetanus and diphtheria shots for a few years and be just fine. This child could then get the tetanus series as a teenagers and the diphtheria shots before traveling the world. He could even get them together as the DT shot."

As with all of the diseases, statistics show that breastfed babies who don't attend daycare (i.e. Logan) are at very low risk of contracting them. Breast milk has antibodies that coat the lining of the nose, lungs, and intestines, so most germs that get inhaled or swallowed are killed.

Still, I read about the awful diseases, such as rotavirus, and know that I couldn't handle the possibility of Logan somehow contracting it. Rotavirus is the most common of any of these vaccinated diseases, affecting 2 million worldwide, with 1/2 million dying. There is no medication to treat it if you get it, aside from IV fluids to help with dehydration. Since it is most common in babies under a year old, that is why we chose to do that one now.

It's gross that the vaccination is a live virus (containing monkey kidney cells, fetal cow blood, polysorbate, and live, genetically altered organisms) with side effects that include seizures and intestinal complications--but if not vaccinated, Dr. Sears points out that at sometime in the child's life (unless you're planning to keep them home 24/7) he will contract it. "It's a matter of when will he catch it and how severe will it be." (Update: I must point out that I have since heard of several children in circles with people I know who have still contracted rotavirus despite being vaccinated, so it is not guaranteed your baby will not get it if given the shot. All of these babies recovered, although even with IV fluids they still weight.)

If I had to do it over again I probably wouldn't have given him the Hib. The reason why it's controversial is because the disease Hib is rare these days and treatable, and the vaccine contains aluminum. . .studies show that aluminum may lead to autism, ADD, hyperactivity, and other brain disorders. Fortunately, since we didn't get the DTaP at the same time, Logan received far less alumnium than the "average" child, which lowers his chance of having a toxic effect.

Meanwhile, the disease for the PC shot is common and can be very serious, but is treatable and also contains aluminum. I still would have had him get the PC since the disease most often occurs in infants, and just like the rotavirus is not a matter of if he'll get it, but when and how serious. I'd prefer not to play russian roulette to see how serious Logan would get it.

Fortunately, Logan showed no side effects from the vaccines at either two months or four months. (Probably a plus to being 17 lbs!) Last time he didn't even cry when he was given the shots; this time he did but was quickly quieted with milk. Neither time did he develop a fever, redness, or swelling which are common, although this time he pooped a lot which is common to get rid of the rotavirus (that's the live virus, given as an oral drink)--but I think that was a good sign because hopefully it's out of his system now. (He had 4 explosive diapers both on Thursday and Friday.) Some children also lose their appetite. . .but not Logan, LOL.

Still, I did the things that Dr. Sears recommends after giving your child vaccinations:

1) Breastfeed (since there has been controversy with vaccines making immune systems weaker, this is the #1 thing to do to make immune systems stronger!)

2) Minimize sugar and junk food (all doctors agree it weakens immune systems)

3) Minimize other chemical exposures (unfortunately, the amounts in vaccines are unavoidable at this time but we can control many in our environment)

4) Use omega-3 oil supplements (I recommend the DHA brand--I took them while pregnant and continue to while nursing)

5) Probiotics (these healthful bacteria live in our intestines. They play a critical role in regulating both our intestinal immune system and our internal immune system. Antibiotic use destroys these bacteria, leaving a child more susceptible to a host of illnesses and intestinal problems. Taking probiotics on a continuous basis can really do wonders for the immune system. I take the Duo-Dophilus brand.)

6) Fruits and vegetables (can help prevent infectious diseases and may limit vaccine reactions)

7) Vitamin A (helps with neurologic health; protects brain from vaccine side effects)

8) Vitamin C (helps boost the immune system and may decrease vaccine side effects; I've been giving this to him every day this week.)

Speaking of the litte guy, he's awake from his nap so this will be it from me for a while!

My Son's Brachial Cleft Fistula

This was originally written on Monday, June 23, 2008:

June 18th was Logan's two month birthday and also his two month pediatrician's appointment. When Joe came home from work to go with me, I said, "I have bad memories from the last time we were there and we kept having to go to the hospital for his jaundice. Hopefully this trip will be more positive." We had no reason to think otherwise--Logan's been thriving and doing excellent. Weeks 2 thru 8.5 were the best weeks of my entire life! Now, of course, I've come down from my high.

The appointment started off well. Logan was weighed and measured, ending up in the 90th percentile when it came to his weight (13 lbs, 6.5 oz!!!) and 55% when it came to his height (23 inches) and 45% when it came to his head (15.5 inches). All of the nurses said he was pretty solid--he has a lot of muscle--and after the PA checked his heart, lungs, eyes, nose, ears, mouth, etc. she said that everything looked really healthy.

Then our pediatrician came in the room and did a more thorough check of everything. I noticed that he kept focusing on Logan's neck. Joe & I both thought maybe we hadn't cleaned it well enough, haha. But the doctor pointed to a dimple on Logan that Joe's mom had first shown me when I was in the hospital after giving birth. During Logan's first couple of days of life I really didn't inspect his body. He was just so fragile-looking that I was scared to touch him much! In fact, I didn't even kiss him until day 3. After his jaundice experience, though, I realized that babies aren't as fragile as they first appear, and so since then he's had kisses galore! :-) Needless to say, that's why it was my mother-in-law who first pointed out the pit on his neck. I had been holding Logan in my hospital bed and she said she'd looked for unique features and the only thing she'd found was a tiny little dimple. The way she said it sounded concerning (she might have even used the word "hole"), but I assumed that if it was anything serious a doctor or nurse would have said something--so I just brushed it off.

For the past two months I've seen it, my parents have seen it, Joe has seen it, etc.--and none of us thought it looked like anything that needed special attention. So when our doctor focused on it, I was surprised. Joe and I moved closer to him and were shocked when he said, "Do you see this hole? It's a brachical cleft." Obviously that went right over my head, but he continued, "Do you see how there's fluid around it? That's not supposed to be there."

Sure enough, the area inside the dimple was wet. I knew right then that this appointment was not going to be any better than our last. The pediatrician explained that at first he'd thought maybe the wetness was caused by one of Logan's tears (Logan was crying at the time) but every time he wiped it away it reappeared. We had never noticed the area getting wet before, probably because the liquid never dripped down--it was the smallest amount you can imagine.

The doctor said that as our heads and necks develop they fuse together like a zipper down the middle. A brachial cleft occurs when it doesn't finish at the end and leaves a hole above the collarbone. Sometimes this happens and it's just something to keep an eye on, but when there's fluid leaking it's serious because that is a sign that it's only a matter of time before infection will occur. He said that unfortunately Logan is going to need surgery to fuse the area together and so we needed to call his plastic surgeon as soon as possible to meet with him within the week.

Of course tears started to form in my eyes, which must have been what the doctor had expected because he talked directly to Joe and didn't look at me at all until the very end, when he was very sympathetic and gave me a box of Kleenex. He also wrote down the name of Logan's condition since I was speechless at that moment and didn't know what questions to ask.

I couldn't believe this was happening--surgery on my two month old baby? Did this mean he wasn't going to be "normal?" I thought about a little girl who had been in the waiting room before our appt--she was deformed and I couldn't help but worry Logan's neck now would be. A million depressing thoughts ran through my mind as the doctor left and the nurse came in with vaccinations. For those of you who read my pregnancy blogs, you know the vaccines had originally been the part of the appt. I'd been dreading.

During my all-day sickness period I watched a lot of television and read several magazines, and there was a lot of stuff about vaccinations and their link to autism (esp. in boys), ADD, hyperactivity, other brain disorders, and immune disorders (why children get sick more now than when my generation was growing up). At first I didn't want to hear or read about it (my mom was actually the first to bring it to my attention a couple of years ago when it all first came out, but the controversy was too complicated to think about when I wasn't even planning to get pregnant at that time). I had hoped that by the time I had a baby I could just trust the American Academy of Pediatrics because there wasn't an easy answer for me to make on my own, and I didn't want to make the wrong decision.

Unfortunately, the evidence is coming out at an extremely slow pace since the studies are basically on an individual basis (why are some children affected and others aren't?), and so in the meantime the American Academy of Pediatrics is still giving out the vaccinations because otherwise the alternative is an outbreak of the diseases.

But, after doing my own research, I couldn't ignore the facts. I'd never forgive myself if my son was negatively affected by the vaccinations since now I knew better. At the same time, I'd never forgive myself if Logan ended up with a deadly disease. Therefore, Joe & I didn't want to NOT vaccinate AT ALL, but rather compromise so that we can know we did the best we could if either scenerio happened.

Just like how I chose my birthing hospital (the one that does the most births in my city, as well as the one most medical personnel choose to have their own babies in), it was important to me when I was finding a pediatrician to select one that was knowledgeable about both sides of the vaccination controversy. There are a lot of biases BOTH ways (half of the pediatricians here will not allow parents to choose their own vaccination schedule, while there are holistic doctors who don't encourage parents to give any vaccines at all). I wanted someone who was open-minded and would tell me the truth of both sides.

Fortunately, my actual pediatrician specializes in autism and so he knows that many of his patients' parents are adament that the vaccinations were to blame (because their babies were perfectly normal and responding intelligently prior to the vaccines) and he can not argue with them. No matter how much the American Academy of Pediatrics stands by their vaccination schedule, they can't prove that their vaccines aren't risky. Therefore, our pediatrician told us right away that he is not going to insist that we do things his way as a doctor, but rather he will give us the freedom to do what we feel most comfortable with as parents. With that said, as more and more parents are choosing not to vaccinate at all, children are starting to contract more diseases.

So, we asked him what he recommended for parents like us. He said to wait on the "controversial vaccines" until after the age of two. By that time the brain is done being formed, so it's not as likely for children to develop these brain disorders, and childrens' immune systems are stronger and better able to handle the vaccines so then they're not as weak and susceptible to contracting viruses and other illnesses. They are also still young enough when getting the vaccines that they're not likely to be exposed to the diseases (especially babies like Logan who aren't in daycare).

Since, fortunately, thimerosal has been removed from vaccines (what started the controversy, as it is mercury--which, even the small amount in vaccines has been linked to late walking, talking, abnormal neurological scores, and nueurotoxicity in infants), now most of the controversy lies with the vaccines that have more than one dose in them, such as DTaP, which Logan was supposed to get this time but did not because it contains the vaccination for Diphtheria, Tetanus, AND Pertussis all in one. (Plus, I got the tetanus shot when I was pregnant and I read we should both be safe for five years). He also did not get the Hep. B vaccine (just like he didn't get it at birth) since it's basically an STD, or polio since there hasn't been a case of it in the United States since the 1970's. Instead, Logan received the Hib, Rotavirus, and Pneumococcal Conjugate. (The Hib and PC were shots, while the Rotavirus was a drink.)

By the time Logan is five yrs old and ready for school, he will have caught up to the standard schedule and will have all of his vaccinations. But in the meantime he'll be on a delayed schedule, where we'll do just half of his vaccines each time. I feel good about this, as it is more in line with the schedule that was followed when I was growing up (now kids are given triple the amount of vaccines).

Hopefully soon the American Academy of Pediatrics will come up with an entire new schedule and parents won't have to make these tough decisions ourselves. I pray Logan won't be exposed to such diseases as measles, mumps, and rubella--as the MMR is the most controversial shot of them all, usually given at 12 months, but Logan will definitely not be getting that until way after the age of two. Especially with his surgery coming up I don't want to make him weaker and more susceptible to brain and immune disorders.

Anyway, but the vaccines ended up being the last thing on my mind on Wednesday. Once we came home from the pediatrician's appt. I realized I had a lot of unanswered questions about brachial cleft, and so I looked up on the internet to see what I could find.

I was disappointed by the lack of information. Because it is rare and there are several types (it's something adults can get, too--only as an actual cyst/growth on their neck) it was hard to find facts about the kind Logan has. What I did determine from several websites was that it is something that occurs within the first four weeks of development within the womb and also that it is genetic.

Yesterday I learned that my mother-in-law, her dad, Joe's sister, two of Joe's nephews, and one of their babies all have this on their ear, so it appears Logan inherited the same trait but ended up with it on his neck instead! Joe's mom said that her dad's drained fluid as well, and one of Joe's nephew's has been infected; maybe it's not as serious when it's on the ear. So at least I'm not beating myself up about it anymore. At first when I learned it was a birth defect I was like, but I followed all of the rules to avoid them while pregnant, what did I do wrong?!

Also, when my pediatrician said that we needed to make an appt. with the plastic surgeon within the week I was thinking this was something urgent/emergency that needed to be done ASAP. But we called the plastic surgeon's office that afternoon and they said the doctor was out of town until July 1st and would be back for two days and then gone again until the 24th. They said we could come in on the 1st to get our questions answered, find out his opinion on what we should do, and probably schedule the surgery for the end of the month. When we called our pediatrician's office and asked if this was okay, they said "yes." In the meantime, we are also getting a second opinion from an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor that our pediatrician recommended, and then will choose between the two as far as who does the surgery. I still have a lot of questions.

The fluid is from the sinuses, and surgery always corrects the problem, so I'm glad that it is fixable and that afterwards it should be like it never happened. There are definitely a lot worse conditions Logan could have and it has helped a lot to hear from family and friends who have had babies or have known other babies who've gone through surgeries and have turned out okay and are now happy & healthy.

I'm sure the week Logan has surgery will still be emotional for me, though. I'm glad that he's too young to know what's going on. . .he won't know beforehand, or during (since he'll be "out"), and I'm sure they'll give him something for pain afterwards--so the surgery will probably be harder for me than him. At least he is a strong baby so that should work to his advantage, and by the time he has it he'll be a month older which means he'll be that much tougher.

Of course I've been obsessed with watching the hole now, like when he's drinking from a bottle I do notice the area becoming wet. I was hoping maybe the fluid draining was a one-time-thing that just happened to be at the ped.'s office (because then he wouldn't need surgery yet) but it seems to be getting more regular.

I'm trusting God that everything will be okay. Hopefully this will be it for hospitals for Logan!!! He couldn't possibly have any more love in his life so that's the main thing.

On a brighter note, Logan met his first friend on Friday, June 20th. You might remember me mentioning that Joe used to work with a guy (Matt) whose wife coincidentally also found out she was pregnant on Labor Day. They were due a couple of weeks before us but ended up having their baby six days later. Even though Joe doesn't work with Matt anymore, they golf every now and then with the company's league and compared stories while us wives were pregnant. We all thought it'd be fun to get together for a playdate once the boys were born, and so they invited us over last weekend--but that's when Joe went to his class reunion. Originally, I had thought about going to my class reunion this past weekend, but decided not to, so we invited them over to our house to grill out. It was so much fun, we've decided to do it regularly and watch the boys grow up together :-) They have their two month check up on Tuesday and are guessing Jaxson is in the 90th percentile with his weight as well. He was almost 9 lbs at birth and was--and is--taller than Logan, but feels equal in weight when holding him.

On Saturday, we invited Nick & Heather over. (Like Matt, Nick used to work with Joe at his old place of employment.) I haven't scrapbooked since the end of March so Heather brought over her stuff and we did that while the guys installed our second garage door opener. The last time Nick was here was when we installed the first garage door opener on Labor Day. . .just hours before I found out I was pregnant :-) Hopefully I can return to the actual scrapbooking nights at the store in July. Also, my neighbor Jenn said she's still doing every other Thursday at her house, so maybe I'll re-join her in July as well. I need to get going on Logan's scrapbook!!!!

Anyway, it was the first time for having Heather over at our house so she got to meet my doggies and we ordered Gambino's pizza and chatted while the guys played guitar hero before calling it a night. I was glad I had these distractions on Fri & Sat, and am getting together with Lisa P for lunch this Thursday (she & her husband used to work with Joe as well) so am very much looking forward to that as well!

Otherwise, that's about it for my update. I went back and read my blogs so far and there are some things I accidentally left out, so I'll conclude with them:

1) For my first two weeks after giving birth I kept waking up in the night drenched in sweat. I was never hot or sick so I thought it was really weird. But on day twelve I went to get my hair high-lighted and my stylist asked, "Have you had the night sweats?" I was like, "OMG yes! I didn't know what they were!" Apparently it is normal in the couple of weeks following birth to sweat, as your body's hormones return to normal. Ironically, it stopped after that.

2) I also leaked breast milk constantly at night from two weeks up until around my "Breastfeeding Rollercoaster" blog. Now that I'm basically just breastfeeding, I'm not waking up drenched if a feeding is delayed. I think it's because Logan doesn't really have a pattern or schedule, so my milk holds off until I pick him up or take off my shirt--then it starts SPRAYING which can be crazy when I'm not prepared. Like, when I get out of the shower I have to hurry up and cover my chest with a towel because it will just go all over the bathroom! Ah, the things we never knew. . .

Anyway, when I pumped all of the time, my breasts hurt & leaked every two hours on the dot. Logan was taking his bottle like clockwork (pretty much the same minute, every two hours). But brestfeeding has made him much less predictable. He might want to eat an hour after the last feeding--but then not again for 5 hours! At first this made me uneasy because I'm a structured person and liked the predictability, but since Logan has been so content and doing so well with breastfeeding (and obviously isn't lacking any nutrients) I realize that I need to just let him guide me and not force him to be on the time-table that I'd prefer. I've learned that he knows more about himself than I do and so I trust his signals as far as what is best for him. I don't want to take that away because hopefully that will help him to continue to be assertive and in tune with himself as he gets older.

Don't get me wrong--this doesn't mean I'm going to cater to his every need as he gets older, but right now it appears that nature is taking more of its course than Logan trying to be spoiled--and I think its like that for a reason so that he is at his healthiest.

I don't quite understand it because on average he nurses for only ten minutes at a time, while when I pump it's for twenty minutes and he always demands the entire bottle (so when nursing, the amount has to be half that and yet he's okay with it). But there's no reason to complain, he's even been sleeping better and longer during the night since breastfeeding all of the time.

Except for last Monday night, however. I was up with him for 5 hrs straight (from 2-7 AM)--ICK! I felt very run down and was worried I was going to get sick. Last night, though, he only got up twice from 11 PM to 11 AM. (He was very awake earlier that day when Nick & Heather were here, but not at all when Matt & Stacy were on Friday.) I ended up pumping the most I ever have--10 oz in one sitting! But he slept six hours straight. So even though each day is different, as long as the majority of the night Logan is sleeping, and the morning & evening he is awake (which seems to be the case) I don't mind. (FYI babies at this age generally sleep 15 hrs total a day.)

He appears to be a morning person (unlike me) and is at his most active between 7-10 AM. He is full of smiles and laughs and curiosity. He especially LOVES his mobile. Every morning I turn it on and his entire face lights up and he grins from ear to ear. It brings him so much joy and happiness, it really melts my heart and is the highlight of my day!!!

Every now and then we'll have a relapse with breastfeeding (for example, once in awhile he seems addicted--like he just wants to breastfeed forever--but an hour is my limit so I usually keep one bottle in the fridge each day incase of times like that) but 99% of the time it is easy now, I can't believe it. It's how I always imagined & hoped in the beginning!!!

3) Logan has outgrown his first outfit (a onesie that says "Nothings wrong, just testing you") and has almost outgrown another (the shirt & pants he wore home from the hospital that's in his hospital picture). Considering 0-3 month clothes are for up to 14 pounds, I'm guessing he'll be in the 3-6 month clothes any day. He's already worn two of those--it's bittersweet :/ I love that he's going on to a new phase in his life (more interactive and fun) but I've really loved the newborn phase (he's just the sweetest thing ever, he can do no wrong) and I don't want his childhood to go too fast!

4) Logan has started scooting (actually moving, but with his limbs straight out) already when he's on his tummy! He also has waved and said hi. Hear me out, LOL! The first day was at four weeks old. I said "Hi Logan" and he went, "Hi!" I told Joe and he was like, "Um, I think you need more sleep." Of course he didn't believe me. . .until he heard it for himself. Obviously I know Logan isn't seriously saying "hi" but you know how all babies have a favorite sound they make? Well, his is "hi." He says it every day, sometimes it's a happy "hi," other times it's a mad "hi" and other time it's just a regular old "hi." He'll be in his pack n play and we'll walk by as he says "hi," so we'll say "hi Logan"--it's so funny. As for the wave, the first time happened at seven weeks old when we were back in Iowa at my dad's house. My grandma waved to him and he waved back. I actually didn't see it, but four other people witnessed it. But I had my own experience just this past week. He was in his carseat looking at me so I waved and he brought up his hand and waved it. Once again, I know it wasn't real, but the timing of these make it fun. :-)

5) He has both Joe & my cowlicks, poor guy, haha! I have one in my bang area (although it's not as bad now as when I was little) and Joe has a Dennis the Menace one in back. Both of Logan's are small, but it's cool to see our traits in him (since we still can't really pick out his other features).

6) I've started cutting his fingernails! This is a big deal, I've been scared to do it my entire life. I remember thinking in high school that I dreaded when I had a baby and would have to do it. But from the day Logan was born he's been scratching his face and so I knew I'd have to get over my fear. For the first eight weeks the doctors recommended we just file them, but we couldn't seem to do it often enough because when he got frustrated he still scratched his face pretty bad (as well as me--and it hurts). My stepmom had bought me some baby safety clippers for Christmas and so I got them out this past week and went for it. . .and it was so easy! I don't know why I was so chicken. In fact, I think I'll probably do it every day now because even just a couple of days after I did it last week he scratched his face again. They grow a mile a minute.

As of last night (Sunday) we're also giving him a real bath every night. Up until then we were just doing wet washcloths irregularly (which doctors recommend for the first two months). I'm hoping the daily shampoos will get rid of his cradle cap because he still has the newborn dandruff. He seemed to like the "real bath" much better (I think it was like a hot tub for him)--he actually smiled a few times when normally he cries.

7) We're supposed to keep Logan pretty covered when he's outside. Our pediatrician said that he can't wear sunscreen yet, and even so it isn't enough to protect babies' skin before six months of age. We've still been taking our walks about three times each week in the evenings so that's been fun. I've only done my aerobics that one day I mentioned, though, but fortunately I still lost my final two pounds of my pregnancy weight by Logan's two month birthday!

8) Just a random thought--I really don't understand child abuse. Not that I really did before having Logan, but now it's even more insane to me that anyone could hurt a baby. Even when he's fussy it's not something that could provoke anger in me--he's too innocent!!! What is wrong with people? I can't stand to hear the news of shaken baby syndrome or parents murdering their children.

9) Joe & I have come to the realization that we need godparents and have no clue who to put in our wills if something was to happen to us. Hopefully it never happens because right now we don't know who we'd want to raise Logan. We either don't know the people in our family well enough or we know them too well, haha. But we're going to try to make a decision by the time of his dedication in July.

10) Sarah S. (another wife of one of Joe's old co-workers, who is due in November) found out this week that she's having a boy! Welcome to the club! Joe wasn't surprised because there's a jinx at his old office (where Sarah's husband works) that makes everyone have the sex that they are. Maybe Lisa P. will break that jinx if she has a boy (since she works there). . .